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Liz's top 10 worst movies of all time list
Note : I asked people for suggestions of bad movies, but I haven't seen a lot of bad movies, apparently, and thus I had nothing to say about them...
Enjoy.
10. Planet of the Apes
I saw this movie a few years back, in theater. For some reason I had faith that this movie would be, at the very least, entertaining. Sadly, this movie failed to deliver, although it did have people running around in ape costumes- always a plus.
9. Cheaper By the Dozen
I’m not exactly sure why I saw this movie, but I did. The cast, while not exactly my favorite people, did include some big names, so how bad could it be, right? Watching Steve Martin run around downtown Santa Rosa got me excited and ready for… Well, I’m not exactly sure for what because it never happened.
8. Vanilla Sky
I have to say: I love Tom Cruise movies. I’m a sucker for them. Top Gun? The Firm? Rain Man? Mission: Impossible? Loved them. Vanilla Sky? Eh, not so much. I think it was really over for me when I thought the movie had ended for the third time. Can’t win ‘em all.
7 Pearl Harbor
War movies are always a hit, right? I mean, look at Saving Private Ryan, Black Hawk Down, or even Chicken Run. Unfortunately, though, the movie ended up being about a love triangle that didn’t make a whole bunch of sense as opposed to the war, not that WWII was a big deal or anything. I guess I should have known that the movie was going to suck when I saw Ben Affleck. Oh well, lesson learned.
6. My Boss’s Daughter
This is just one of those movies that you hear about and know is going to suck… And yet, I watched it. Just Married, also starring Ashton Kutcher, was a lot better than expected, though, so why not give it a shot? I’ll tell you why not. This movie was terrible. It was cliché. It was not funny. There was an owl.
5. The Forgotten
This film is amazing. It was so bad that I actually blocked it out of my memory because people had to tell me that I watched it. And, yes, I was sober. This one was really disappointing because the trailers were so intriguing! And then I actually sat down and watched the film… Don’t read this next part if you want to watch The Forgotten for some reason, but the big, special, mysterious conclusion is aliens. Honestly, folks, wtf?!
4. XXX
Vin Diesel, you silly, silly man. I feel sad that this movie is on my list, not because I like Vin Diesel, but because I like 99% of action movies that I see, even if the rest of the world says they suck. XXX, however, was the most boring action movie I have ever seen in my life; it was impressive, really. The driving off the bridge stunt seemed exciting, but that was the only stunt they could afford, or maybe they ran out of stuntmen because nothing else happened for the entire rest of the film.
And now for the top 3…
3. Speed 2: Cruise Control
I have to admit I never saw this movie. Speed I saw and enjoyed. Speed 2 I wanted to see until I heard that it was the exact same movie as Speed, but on a boat instead of a bus. I will credit whoever though up this sequel, though, because they just took their old script and replaced every occurrence of the word “bus” with “boat” and managed to get a new movie out of it somehow. Good budgeting, guys. The icing on the cake is the fact that Sandra Bullock, star of both Speed and Speed 2, openly calls Speed 2 a piece of crap movie. Hey, at least she’s honest.
2. Gigli
Okay, another movie that I’ve never seen made it in the top 3. In my defense, I did say that Pearl Harbor taught me never to watch anything involving Ben Affleck, Gigli being no exception. This movie had to have sucked. There is no way it couldn’t have. The storyline sounds ridiculous, the cast is… Well, Ben Affleck. I worked at a movie theater when this film was released and I can honestly say there were never more than 5 people paying to see this movie at any time, it was that bad.
1. Open Water
This is the only time Open Water is going to be #1 on any list, so savor this moment. This movie was pure boring. To say that nothing happened in the one and a half hours that this movie managed to steal from me would be a bit of an understatement, a huge one. This movie was the closest that I have ever come to walking out of a theater. Whether I stayed or not, though, would not have changed the fact that I wasted one-tenth of a hundred dollars on watching people bob up and down in a swimming pool. I don’t think one person in the theater didn’t make some kind of irritated statement the second the credits started to roll. The moral of this story: Open Water sucks/sucked/will always suck, so just go ahead and gouge your eyes out; it will save you a lot of pain.
Note : I asked people for suggestions of bad movies, but I haven't seen a lot of bad movies, apparently, and thus I had nothing to say about them...
Enjoy.
10. Planet of the Apes
I saw this movie a few years back, in theater. For some reason I had faith that this movie would be, at the very least, entertaining. Sadly, this movie failed to deliver, although it did have people running around in ape costumes- always a plus.
9. Cheaper By the Dozen
I’m not exactly sure why I saw this movie, but I did. The cast, while not exactly my favorite people, did include some big names, so how bad could it be, right? Watching Steve Martin run around downtown Santa Rosa got me excited and ready for… Well, I’m not exactly sure for what because it never happened.
8. Vanilla Sky
I have to say: I love Tom Cruise movies. I’m a sucker for them. Top Gun? The Firm? Rain Man? Mission: Impossible? Loved them. Vanilla Sky? Eh, not so much. I think it was really over for me when I thought the movie had ended for the third time. Can’t win ‘em all.
7 Pearl Harbor
War movies are always a hit, right? I mean, look at Saving Private Ryan, Black Hawk Down, or even Chicken Run. Unfortunately, though, the movie ended up being about a love triangle that didn’t make a whole bunch of sense as opposed to the war, not that WWII was a big deal or anything. I guess I should have known that the movie was going to suck when I saw Ben Affleck. Oh well, lesson learned.
6. My Boss’s Daughter
This is just one of those movies that you hear about and know is going to suck… And yet, I watched it. Just Married, also starring Ashton Kutcher, was a lot better than expected, though, so why not give it a shot? I’ll tell you why not. This movie was terrible. It was cliché. It was not funny. There was an owl.
5. The Forgotten
This film is amazing. It was so bad that I actually blocked it out of my memory because people had to tell me that I watched it. And, yes, I was sober. This one was really disappointing because the trailers were so intriguing! And then I actually sat down and watched the film… Don’t read this next part if you want to watch The Forgotten for some reason, but the big, special, mysterious conclusion is aliens. Honestly, folks, wtf?!
4. XXX
Vin Diesel, you silly, silly man. I feel sad that this movie is on my list, not because I like Vin Diesel, but because I like 99% of action movies that I see, even if the rest of the world says they suck. XXX, however, was the most boring action movie I have ever seen in my life; it was impressive, really. The driving off the bridge stunt seemed exciting, but that was the only stunt they could afford, or maybe they ran out of stuntmen because nothing else happened for the entire rest of the film.
And now for the top 3…
3. Speed 2: Cruise Control
I have to admit I never saw this movie. Speed I saw and enjoyed. Speed 2 I wanted to see until I heard that it was the exact same movie as Speed, but on a boat instead of a bus. I will credit whoever though up this sequel, though, because they just took their old script and replaced every occurrence of the word “bus” with “boat” and managed to get a new movie out of it somehow. Good budgeting, guys. The icing on the cake is the fact that Sandra Bullock, star of both Speed and Speed 2, openly calls Speed 2 a piece of crap movie. Hey, at least she’s honest.
2. Gigli
Okay, another movie that I’ve never seen made it in the top 3. In my defense, I did say that Pearl Harbor taught me never to watch anything involving Ben Affleck, Gigli being no exception. This movie had to have sucked. There is no way it couldn’t have. The storyline sounds ridiculous, the cast is… Well, Ben Affleck. I worked at a movie theater when this film was released and I can honestly say there were never more than 5 people paying to see this movie at any time, it was that bad.
1. Open Water
This is the only time Open Water is going to be #1 on any list, so savor this moment. This movie was pure boring. To say that nothing happened in the one and a half hours that this movie managed to steal from me would be a bit of an understatement, a huge one. This movie was the closest that I have ever come to walking out of a theater. Whether I stayed or not, though, would not have changed the fact that I wasted one-tenth of a hundred dollars on watching people bob up and down in a swimming pool. I don’t think one person in the theater didn’t make some kind of irritated statement the second the credits started to roll. The moral of this story: Open Water sucks/sucked/will always suck, so just go ahead and gouge your eyes out; it will save you a lot of pain.