(no subject)
i'm so scared of failing my classes. i'm also scared that i won't be able to get a job when i graduate or turn 18, whatever comes first.
this morning i was crying when i woke up at like 5 in the morning because this woman was yelling at me.
i was in a good mood earlier, but now i'm... just looking around and thinking again about people and how they interact, and social groups.
i trimmed my finger nails, now they're all neat again.
i found a way to save 2 dollars a day. instead of buying two bottles of apples juice(1.67 each) every day at whatcom, i'll just buy a can of concentrate and make it last for a day and a half. i'm just ever so excited.
i watched a movie that i didn't like very much and started another one that i'm liking a lot. almost done with it actually. but no one else would like it.
i have this journal, and every now and then someone will ask me if they can read it, there are a couple of people i've let read it over the years, but it makes me really uncomfortable. and now i've started to write things that i don't want any one to read, ever. i hate the idea of someone reading it, half of me wants to burn it or something to avoid that ever happening, but that would kill me, i read it when ever i'm feeling really down. it's one of those things, like if any of my friends read it i don't think they'd want to be my friend any more.
i need to keep watching movies, haven't been seeing enough.
new episode of desperate housewives, it was pretty good, i'm going to be really sad about john and gabriel. i mean i don't think it would ever work out between then, but i do think she really loves him. and i don't even really want them to get together, it just wouldn't be right, she would have too much power, not fair i guess.
need to call chelsea, still miss her
i sort of wish i hadn't cut my hair, it goes against my whole thing. sigh
i feel so average and boring. i should protest again, it's like i've stopped believing in things.
i hate politics.
you can never really see the big picture, so nothing can ever really be understood, so why bother arguing about things really.
i'm liking seth less and less every day. he annoys me a lot, i think he can be nice and he is nice plenty of the time. but in my opinion he only does things to make people like him and he does and says a lot of things he doesn't really mean. it just pisses me off. like he'll agree with everyone just to fit in. fit in.
it's ok for people to want attention, that doesn't vase me, but when they pretend thats not what they want, like they're trying to trick people into it or something. uck
i should tap on my whole school thing, being worried about classes i mean. yeah, i'll put it on the list of stuff to do eventually.
i saw nick at the mall, do i want to hang out with him? i liked him so much, but that was a long time ago, i think i would still like him, but then why really bother? it's not like i don't already have friends, and it would be work. i miss katie, she was one of those people... if i believed in soul mates.
i have so many books that i want to read, and speaking of which, i still haven't read On the Road. lol. maybe some day i will, i don't know what i expect to get out of it, it's not like someones favorite book really tells all that much about them, especially someones favorite book 5 years ago. five years, i haven't thought about it for a while. i'd like to have more friends.
i'm pretty tired
this morning i was crying when i woke up at like 5 in the morning because this woman was yelling at me.
i was in a good mood earlier, but now i'm... just looking around and thinking again about people and how they interact, and social groups.
i trimmed my finger nails, now they're all neat again.
i found a way to save 2 dollars a day. instead of buying two bottles of apples juice(1.67 each) every day at whatcom, i'll just buy a can of concentrate and make it last for a day and a half. i'm just ever so excited.
i watched a movie that i didn't like very much and started another one that i'm liking a lot. almost done with it actually. but no one else would like it.
i have this journal, and every now and then someone will ask me if they can read it, there are a couple of people i've let read it over the years, but it makes me really uncomfortable. and now i've started to write things that i don't want any one to read, ever. i hate the idea of someone reading it, half of me wants to burn it or something to avoid that ever happening, but that would kill me, i read it when ever i'm feeling really down. it's one of those things, like if any of my friends read it i don't think they'd want to be my friend any more.
i need to keep watching movies, haven't been seeing enough.
new episode of desperate housewives, it was pretty good, i'm going to be really sad about john and gabriel. i mean i don't think it would ever work out between then, but i do think she really loves him. and i don't even really want them to get together, it just wouldn't be right, she would have too much power, not fair i guess.
need to call chelsea, still miss her
i sort of wish i hadn't cut my hair, it goes against my whole thing. sigh
i feel so average and boring. i should protest again, it's like i've stopped believing in things.
i hate politics.
you can never really see the big picture, so nothing can ever really be understood, so why bother arguing about things really.
i'm liking seth less and less every day. he annoys me a lot, i think he can be nice and he is nice plenty of the time. but in my opinion he only does things to make people like him and he does and says a lot of things he doesn't really mean. it just pisses me off. like he'll agree with everyone just to fit in. fit in.
it's ok for people to want attention, that doesn't vase me, but when they pretend thats not what they want, like they're trying to trick people into it or something. uck
i should tap on my whole school thing, being worried about classes i mean. yeah, i'll put it on the list of stuff to do eventually.
i saw nick at the mall, do i want to hang out with him? i liked him so much, but that was a long time ago, i think i would still like him, but then why really bother? it's not like i don't already have friends, and it would be work. i miss katie, she was one of those people... if i believed in soul mates.
i have so many books that i want to read, and speaking of which, i still haven't read On the Road. lol. maybe some day i will, i don't know what i expect to get out of it, it's not like someones favorite book really tells all that much about them, especially someones favorite book 5 years ago. five years, i haven't thought about it for a while. i'd like to have more friends.
i'm pretty tired