long time no update
first things first, most of you, all 5 of you who read my journal, are prolly wondering if things are okay with me and rich, well that depends on what yer definition of okay is, if you're wondering if we're going back out, im sorry to say the answer is no, if you mean are we tlaking again, yes we are, we're actually really close again, i think, it seems that the story changes every day, so i wudint know really... but anyway... meow... sorry thats not what i meant to say, anyway... its really weird, like he tells me he loves me and that he misses holding me and he hates not being able to hold me and talk to me and touch me between periods and he still loves me, but then he says "don't think that when i broke up with you i didn't want to go back out, cuz i did, its just that from there everything went to shit, note the word did, did means past tense, so that means things changed in the future tense, so how can he say he loves me and he misses holding me and all that shit, but not want to be with me again. stupid mixed signally people, i never got what people were tlaking about till now when they said that...then i feel bad for the thing with chelsea this mornign but i cant write it... cuz i cant, chelsea im sorry, i really am, and i really do care, you know i do, thanks for trusting me :)
so yah i realized that i was hiding in "the world of jess morris" also known as care free down syndrome retard world. what was i hiding from you might ask? basically the fact that i pretty much destroyed my relationship with everyone i care about over this, and by hiding in retard world i made things even worse... and its not her fault, its mine, i was stupid and i didnt realize what i was doing to myself.
on a bit more bitchy note, kelly, i love you, and i know what happened with me and rich pissed you off and i know that you're only looking out for me cuz you see how upset certain things make me, but please dont speak for me, cuz coming from you it some how always ends up making rich think i hate him or im pissed at him... or something along those lines, and every time you open yer mouth to him things just seem to get worse and worse, and even if he gets the wrong idea of something and i explain it to him, the little mis enterpritations add up, so please stop speaking for me.
on another note, thanksgiving was kinda fun, wudda been more fun if i wasn't constantly thinking about the fact that i was invited to rich's house by jackie, when she said i was part of the family, and that i wudda had more fun there, in any case rich's (g) family was fun, and i really think jim was happy with the turn out, i was worried it would be a disaster, and i know that he wanted it to be perfect, after all the holidays he was told he ruined
oh yah lets not forget my 200 dollar shopping spree... thats right 200 bucks i took out of my bank, 2 new shirts i think 5 new shirts and 2 pairs of boots and a bunch of crap in the dollar store, plus hair dye!
well thats all for my 4 day weekend, except for the fact that jess's mom thinks im anorexic... later
love jess
and the words i love you still surround your picture on my desktop
where did it all go wrong?
so yah i realized that i was hiding in "the world of jess morris" also known as care free down syndrome retard world. what was i hiding from you might ask? basically the fact that i pretty much destroyed my relationship with everyone i care about over this, and by hiding in retard world i made things even worse... and its not her fault, its mine, i was stupid and i didnt realize what i was doing to myself.
on a bit more bitchy note, kelly, i love you, and i know what happened with me and rich pissed you off and i know that you're only looking out for me cuz you see how upset certain things make me, but please dont speak for me, cuz coming from you it some how always ends up making rich think i hate him or im pissed at him... or something along those lines, and every time you open yer mouth to him things just seem to get worse and worse, and even if he gets the wrong idea of something and i explain it to him, the little mis enterpritations add up, so please stop speaking for me.
on another note, thanksgiving was kinda fun, wudda been more fun if i wasn't constantly thinking about the fact that i was invited to rich's house by jackie, when she said i was part of the family, and that i wudda had more fun there, in any case rich's (g) family was fun, and i really think jim was happy with the turn out, i was worried it would be a disaster, and i know that he wanted it to be perfect, after all the holidays he was told he ruined
oh yah lets not forget my 200 dollar shopping spree... thats right 200 bucks i took out of my bank, 2 new shirts i think 5 new shirts and 2 pairs of boots and a bunch of crap in the dollar store, plus hair dye!
well thats all for my 4 day weekend, except for the fact that jess's mom thinks im anorexic... later
love jess
and the words i love you still surround your picture on my desktop
where did it all go wrong?