just gotta learn to force my emotions down and let everything else pile up
im full of loathing right now...and im so depressed...i just heard thatthe church youth group is having another lock in at church...i dont even know why my dad bothers to let me know something like that...hes just setting me up for a huge fall...just like today
i was supposed to go to my 2 of best friends church today...i havent seen them in months...literally....i miss them so much like i tear up everytime i think about it..and this morning i couldnt stop crying because my dad chose to tell me 5 minutes before we have to leave that we're not going...but instead were going to karate...and im like are you fucking serious....and my dad is like oh yeah hes supposed to go to this mandatory meeting for work but hes not going because he doesnt feel well..and im like...so you go to karate instead (wtf)....whatever ive been seriously annoyed by that....and when my dad saw me crying this morning he starts yelling at me to stay home (i dont)....and then he starts saying FINE wahtever lets go, but you cannot see them this summer....they cant come over, you cant visit them, you cant go to the movies with them,you cant even see them....so i get even angrier...and i start to cry and so im forced to go to karate....whatever
but my dad tries to make up for ruining my morning by taking me to the mall...my mom had to get something so whatever...only upside to th day was that i finally got my dress for oasis's quince...its hot as fuck and im in love with it....
and yeah...i've been frustrated ever since...and yeah my dad seriously has been annoying me since then...screw this shit i need to do some work