i feel gross and empty and sad
so cary was depressed and it got on my nerves. because he's always depressed and he has no reason to be. he gets what he wants and sees me a lot. yet he still gets depressed when he's not with me. thats not right. instead of being depressed he should be happy that he has me and think about how much time we really see each other. so i wrote him a lot of stuff and as soon as i said it he claimed he had to go...okay that really hurts and bothers me insanely. because its like what i say doesnt matter. and thats not fair. then he got his friend to get on and be like well its my fault blah blah. then they just sign off. its now 1:32 am and i have school and i cant sleep. because my boyfriend just left in the middle of a fight and doesnt even care enough to call or anything. i feel like we broke up or something. i cant believe he'd actually do this to me. its evil and just wrong. he doesnt care enough to fix it. i dunno whats going on and i dunno when i will. but i have to go to friggin school tomorrow and be miserable the whole day not knowing whats going on. i dont like it at all. i feel like an evil girlfriend for always getting mad but its just him being depressed all the time is selfish and annoying. and what he's doing right now is the meanest thing he could do and its selfish. because i dunno if he cares or not. because if he did he would have called. well he wouldnt have left in the first place. why do i always suck with relationships? i just want something to be right. fuck this. i hate it.