My heart's a battleground

[l0nes0medreamer]

Soooooo I have to say that yesterday was very interesting. I had Allie over which was cool. We took a lot of pictures. Sexy pictures mind you. Jordan amused the hell out of me. He can be so great when he wants to. Whats even better is that he wasn't trying to amuse me. lolllllll. It was beautiful. Allie and I went to mainstreet which sucked balls. We came home hung out then she left. Like at 8 or something Amanda called me crying and stuff so finally after bitching my dad took me to go get her. Honestly I'm afraid of getting shot. Because some crazy people are fucking with her. But I help my friends in every way possible so yeah. But the whole ride getting her and before we had left I wondered why my life was the way it was. I mean most people don't have to worry about the things I do. I sometimes think I try tooooo hard to protect my friends. I mean I could get shot or something and I don't deserve it at all. I just try and be the best I can be. Half the time I'm not that great. But I make up for it by how caring I really am and my need and want to succeed in life and at school. School is VERY important to me. Mainly because it can help someone escape all their problems in the end. It can help make your life great. By giving you the right education to fulfill your dreams. I have way to many dreams and not all of them will be fulfilled but that's okay with me. I love life. I don't waste any minute of it. Nor do I take it for granted. I used to...but I realized being a huge fuck up got me no where. So now I try to be the best I can be. if it was up to me everyone would try to be something good. No one tries to better themselves anymore. When Amanda told me she was going to change I didn't really know what to think. Because I've heard it many times but people always fall back to drugs and such because it's the easy way to live and you don't really have to do much. I prefer a challenge. Sometimes I wonder what it'd be like if I did drink and do a shitload of bad things. But then I look at half of the people I know and how they are and how they aren't getting anywhere and that's what keeps me going with what I know is right. Sure smoking is legal at a certain age and being able to make the lil O thingys with the smoke is awesome but it's not worth it. Haha I just realized that I went into a huge thing about random shit. lol. I think too much I swear. I started out this entry with something totally different in mind but now I forgot what it was. So there was just a little bit of what I tend to think about. Feel lucky. I usually tell no one what I think because something usually triggers my thinking and I don't like talking about it. But yeah. Anyways Amanda had summer school so we went to sleep at like 3 somethin and had to wake up at 6. Yeahhhhhhh not cool. But I got up and got her up and she left so I got online and talked to Bert. I love that kid. He rocks my world. I'll probably post pictures later in a ljcut in this entry so yeah be expecting them.



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