No subject!
I read my flist, and wonder about the people that occupy it.
Writers, mostly, which strikes me as funny. Good writers, funnier still. Is it making up for my lack of ability? Or maybe it's just a coincidence. But the most eloquent thing I can think of is a song that maybe someone has heard, and maybe someone will connect the lyrics to my life the way I do. Or maybe not, and I'm just yet another LiveJournal "Emo Kid".
It's 4:58 in the morning, and my stomach hurts. I'm damn thirsty, but won't stoop so low as to drink water, and milk doesn't exactly quench the thirst, good though it might be. I did absolutely nothing productive today, on my day off. I have hundreds of things to do, yet am hardly moving a finger in getting them done. Which probably isn't so different from other people on my Flist.
So others wrap their feelings up in pretty writing that I won't even pretend to understand (That somehow makes it beautiful and profound), and I close mine off inside where they're easier to ignore. Except at 5:00am in the morning, when I'm thirsty, and my stomach hurts. Son of a bitch. March can't come soon enough. Need to get out of here, if only for a week. Need some human interaction other than customers who may or may not say hello when I greet them, or a co-worker who, even though I'm smarter than they are, won't see past the fact that I'm five years younger than they are.
I did absolutely nothing productive today, and that was alright. I realized how much I missed roleplaying. I spent 8 hours doing so today. I didn't eat, didn't really get up. I sat at my computer and acted like somebody else.
Which, if you look at it like that, is depressing. Which could be why I'm up at 5:05am.
Need March. Need Jakeb to kick my ass. Need to be with cool, laid-back people.
I had mentioned something to someone about my school plans. Mom remarked, "Oh, so that's still the plan?" Like for some reason things had changed. They hadn't. I've only ever had the one plan. And then she made me really sad. "You know, if staying at Starbucks is what you want to do, that's okay." Which is funny, because we had sat down with dad 5 months ago, and they had said that, while they "wouldn't be disappointed" in me, they would be sad that I didn't do anything more with my life, because I'm capable of more. Which is true. I am. And Starbucks is not what I want to do with the rest of my life. It may take me 6 years to get to a place that would normally take someone 4 years, but I'm 19 years old. I'm in no rush. It makes me sad that she would have to lie, however unwillingly. Or that she would think being stuck in a dead-end customer service job is what I wanted to do. It's not like I don't tell everyone who asks what I want to do.
Ah well. So I escaped for an entire day. It was nice.
Being someone other than Pierce.
Writers, mostly, which strikes me as funny. Good writers, funnier still. Is it making up for my lack of ability? Or maybe it's just a coincidence. But the most eloquent thing I can think of is a song that maybe someone has heard, and maybe someone will connect the lyrics to my life the way I do. Or maybe not, and I'm just yet another LiveJournal "Emo Kid".
It's 4:58 in the morning, and my stomach hurts. I'm damn thirsty, but won't stoop so low as to drink water, and milk doesn't exactly quench the thirst, good though it might be. I did absolutely nothing productive today, on my day off. I have hundreds of things to do, yet am hardly moving a finger in getting them done. Which probably isn't so different from other people on my Flist.
So others wrap their feelings up in pretty writing that I won't even pretend to understand (That somehow makes it beautiful and profound), and I close mine off inside where they're easier to ignore. Except at 5:00am in the morning, when I'm thirsty, and my stomach hurts. Son of a bitch. March can't come soon enough. Need to get out of here, if only for a week. Need some human interaction other than customers who may or may not say hello when I greet them, or a co-worker who, even though I'm smarter than they are, won't see past the fact that I'm five years younger than they are.
I did absolutely nothing productive today, and that was alright. I realized how much I missed roleplaying. I spent 8 hours doing so today. I didn't eat, didn't really get up. I sat at my computer and acted like somebody else.
Which, if you look at it like that, is depressing. Which could be why I'm up at 5:05am.
Need March. Need Jakeb to kick my ass. Need to be with cool, laid-back people.
I had mentioned something to someone about my school plans. Mom remarked, "Oh, so that's still the plan?" Like for some reason things had changed. They hadn't. I've only ever had the one plan. And then she made me really sad. "You know, if staying at Starbucks is what you want to do, that's okay." Which is funny, because we had sat down with dad 5 months ago, and they had said that, while they "wouldn't be disappointed" in me, they would be sad that I didn't do anything more with my life, because I'm capable of more. Which is true. I am. And Starbucks is not what I want to do with the rest of my life. It may take me 6 years to get to a place that would normally take someone 4 years, but I'm 19 years old. I'm in no rush. It makes me sad that she would have to lie, however unwillingly. Or that she would think being stuck in a dead-end customer service job is what I wanted to do. It's not like I don't tell everyone who asks what I want to do.
Ah well. So I escaped for an entire day. It was nice.
Being someone other than Pierce.