Into The Dark [Chapter 2: The Lonely Voice & The Sad Mute]

[kyyra1986]

Title: Into The Dark
Characters: Super Junior [mainly Eunhyuk, Donghae & Kyuhyun]
Pairings: usual SuJu pairings + more experimenting pairings
Genre: Angst, Mystery. Fantasy, Romance
Rating: R
Warnings: Yaoi, Sex, Violence, Blood

Summary: As darkness found them, things will change for the guys of Super Junior!
Love, pain, desire, fear - struggling through all of that - will they find their way back or will they be lost forever?
Creatures of the darkness - will they lose themselves?

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Chapter 2 : The Lonely Voice & The Sad Mute

I screamed as I felt the pain rushing through my body.

Teeth were breaking my soft skin, hurting my already bruised body even more.

I saw the smiling face of an angel hovering over me.

Her body pressed up to mine.

I felt fear take over me.

“I feel really upset!”

Her voice was the most beautiful voice I ever heard, but it scared me to death!

I tried to force my fear away to make myself sound calm and strong.

“Wae? What happened princess?”

She pouted cutely.

“He was supposed to die tonight! We finally managed to find him for a short moment, but then he suddenly disappeared once again! I wonder how they are doing it!”

I felt the grip on my wrists tightening painfully.

I didn't dare to say anything.

For a moment she looked like being deep in thought, but then her attention turned to me again.

I tried to suppress a shudder.

“Well! See! I'm upset so someone has to make me happy again!”

I closed my eyes trying to dream myself to a place far away, because I was sure this night will be as painful as many other nights before.

xoxoxoxoxoxo

My eyes were following their every movement.

Every step was timed perfectly.

Every turn, every jump, every motion - smooth and perfect.

I listened to their voices and I felt a pang of jealousy and admiration.

Their voices, even though not all of them sounded perfect, seemed to be determined and alive.

They were full of emotion.

I could hear it in every single line they were singing.

Alive and emotional!

Unlike me!

I shivered listening to the perfect voice of Yesung-hyung.

I always knew he was an outstanding singer, but with my improved hearing I could hear even more depth in his voice.

I could hear every breath, every timbre, every tremble.

Heavenly!

Soothing!

Warm!

Attractive!

I felt envious.

“Still envious of them?”

I didn't have to turn around to know who was standing next to me, but I chose to.

The fragile guy standing next to me, undead like me, still gave off this warm caring feeling, that I was sure went missing on me a year ago.

The guy had delicate features, making him appear pretty and cute.

Unlike me!

I'm sure no one would think as cute of me.

I smiled sadly, when I saw he kept his distance from me.

I turned my attention back to the stage to hide my pain.

“I'm not envious of them, because it's not their fault that I am who I am and they are who they are!”

The guy next to me chuckled slightly.

“Well then you are envious about what they are still able to do!”

I sighed, shivering once again upon hearing them sing all together.

I longed to be able to do what they are doing.

“You know you still can do it!”

I looked at him to catch his encouraging smile.

I leaned over to pinch his cheek.

“Cute, but no! It's not the same anymore!”

The guy jumped away and rubbed his cheek.

“Could you stop always doing that? I'm not a baby and besides I'm still your hyung…and and and…you know…right?”

I grinned and followed him to pinch his cheek once again.

He took another step back and I tried not to feel hurt by it.

“You look just too cute, hyung!”

He rolled his eyes and turned his attention to the stage.

“Oh, they are done! I have to go!”

I frowned.

“Is he still practicing until late at night?”

The cute guy nodded with a sigh.

“I think he has the feeling to do it for us, trying to make up for the gap we left behind!”

“Maybe you should find a way to make him realize that it isn't necessary and not worth it for him to work himself so hard!”

The small guy next to me chuckled.

“Well, well, well! Aren't you the wise one! At least he is showing some emotions! What are you going to do with your problem?”

I felt my mood darken as my eyes caught my once cheerful hyung walking away from the stage without a smile, without a wave to the fans, without any emotion.

I shook my head before a smile returned to my face.

“Well I finally thought of a plan to make him show some emotion!”

The blackhead next to me raised a brow.

“Well, good luck with that! I really have to go now! He seems to be in a hurry tonight!”

Before he could walk away I spoke up one last time.

“Aren't you missing it, hyung?”

He stopped in his tracks and turned back around to me.

“Performing on stage?”

I shook my head.

“Singing!”

His eyes locked with mine, showing a sad expression.

“You know, I still sing as I don't have to face the same problems as you! But if you want to hear my opinion! You just should do it, too! Just, not when I am around, arasseo?”

He tried a small smile.

I shook my head.

“It doesn't seem right anymore!”

The older guy sighed before nodding in defeat.

“Mianhae! Take care!”

With that he disappeared in between the crowd of people, moving out of their way elegantly.

I strained my ears to listen to the voices and noises around, trying to catch his voice.

I groaned frustrated.

I tried it over and over again, but I was never able to find him through his voice.

“Damn you, Minnie-hyung, you make it hard on me if you are never talking!”

I still could smell him, but it was always easier to hear them.

“He is going out to eat something with Hyukie!”

It didn't surprise me to see the well-built former singer-dancer showing up next to me.

“Are you a stalker to know such things?”

The handsome man winked at me.

Is it a surprise for me to feel attracted to him at this moment?

I shook my head in frustration.

This existence is messing up our every emotion.

What was once friendship and brotherly love, felt like so much more, now, that our every emotion was intensified.

“Aren't we all?”

I grinned hearing his teasing voice.

“Yes, but not everyone knows what the others are going to do as well as you are able to with Hyukjae-hyung!”

The handsome features turned into a pained smile.

“It's because of his heart! It's talking to me!”

I patted his shoulder.

I smiled as he let it just happen and didn’t pull away.

I was thankful to him, which made me feel even more pained to see him like this.

I, like everyone else, knew - no - felt it painfully, how much Donghae loved our dancing jewel.

It must be really hard on him to see him every day, but never to be able to be with him.

We all could see him battling his heart every single second he is around his former best friend.

It must be painful.

I knew for myself how hard it is to withstand all those delicious smelling creatures around us, to ignore the beating hearts and the blood rushing through their bodies.

Having to restrain yourself from something that is everything to you is the hardest thing one can endure.

I hugged the older guy in front of me for a moment.

I felt him tense and take in a breath.

I said nothing, but just held him for a while.

Finally he relaxed and caressed my back caringly.

He let me hug him to make us both feel better for a while.

It pained me to not being able to help this goodhearted hyung of mine.

I groaned.

Just like another hyung of mine I know.

I sighed and let go of the handsome creature in my arms.

Why are all my hyungs being so difficult?

At least I will change something about one of them tonight.

“Hyung, can you watch over Sungmin-hyung for a while? There is something I have to do!”

Donghae forgot about his sad emotions for a second and looked at me interested.

“Finally came up with an idea?”

He almost seemed like his mischievous and innocent human self.

I nodded.

“He will hate it!”

Donghae laughed and pushed me to go already.

“Maybe this one will work better than all the tries to make him react by being nice!”

An evil smirk appeared on my lips.

I will have so much fun doing all this.

Just like in old times.

xoxoxoxoxoxo

I didn't even blink when I entered my room.

It was a mess.

Clothes were thrown all over the place.

“Where is my damn shirt, you brats?”

“We didn’t take it, Kangin-hyung! Maybe you should check at Hyukjae’s place before taking down our whole room! Aish, chincha, why are you always messing up our room?”

For a second I wondered if I really left my room this way this morning, but then I shrugged it off.

Probably I didn't realize it while doing this.

Probably my mind had been busy with something else this morning.

I put my bag on my bed and then started to clean up the mess.

A picture on the ground caught my attention, but before I could look at the old piece of paper I kicked it back under my bed.

I took in some deep breathes before straightening my shoulders.

I decided to take a quick shower before going to bed.

I stepped into the shower and turned on the water.

The water was cold.

Why was it cold?

Did anyone shower before him?

Did someone use up all the hot water?

Probably not, seeing as no one is around.

Familiar shouts of a fight echoed in my head.

“Yah, you used up all the hot water again! Silly fish!”

“Mianhae, hyung! I can go to shower with you, to keep you warm!”

“Aish, stay away from me Lee Donghae!”

“Yah, you don’t mind sharing the shower with Hyukjae! Do you love him more than me?”

I leaned against the wall and let the cold water run over me.

No one could have used up the water!

Yesung should be at the company building, as usually.

Hyukjae and Hankyung stayed behind at the restaurant as they had decided to go window shopping for a while after dinner.

And Siwon was....well, god alone knows what he is up to!

I shrugged.

Maybe there was some problem with the pipes right now.

Not that I minded if the water was cold or hot.

As I reached out to take my shower gel, I furrowed my brows a little irritated.

Empty?

Wasn't it full just this morning?

A door fell shut.

12 sets of eyes were glaring at the door.

“I need all of those shower gels. I’m not a Cinderella for nothing!”

I tried hard to remember whether the other guys took their showers after me this morning.

Did they use it up?

No, I was sure I was the last one to shower this morning.

Well, whatever.

Maybe I remembered it wrong.

Maybe it was already empty this morning.

I decided just to use someone else' gel.

I flinched for a second upon realizing that only Hyukjae's strawberry scented shower gel was left.

Why is a guy using strawberry scented things anyway?

I hated that stuff.

It smells girly and way too sweet.

I probably will get a headache from it.

“Argh, go away, you used Hyukjae’s smelly stuff again!”

“Mianhae, Hyung! I was tired and grabbed the wrong bottle! Besides it smells kinda nice!”

“Are you joining forces with Hyukie to give me a headache?”

“Anniyo, come on! I will make some pancakes for you! I have a new recipe that I want to try!”

I felt sweat forming on my forehead.

I sighed and used the horrible smelling gel.

It was my fault for not buying a new gel anyway.

After I was done showering, I stepped out and grabbed a towel to tie it around my waist.

I sighed.

Where are all the larger towels?

Why are there only small ones left?

“Hyung you used the last towel!”

“I did?”

“For a leader you are so uncaring sometimes!”

“Mianhae, Minnie, but there should be some towels. I told Kibum to put them into the washing machine!”

“Argh, as if he would do that! Yah, Teukie, you are too naïve sometimes!”

“He is right, hyung! You are too naïve as if I would wash all your dirty towels!”

“Yah, you brat, stay right here!”

I felt a tingling sensation running through my body as pictures of two guys running around the apartment chasing a third younger one flashed up before my eyes.

I blinked a little irritated and clutched my heart.

I took in some more breathes before I looked at myself in the mirror.

My face looked like being in pain, my eyes looked watery.

No!

I wouldn’t let this get to me!

I hurriedly dressed my wet body in some pajamas that I took with me to the bathroom, before rushing to my room.

I took in a sharp breath as the inside of the room was freezing cold.

I glared at the wide opened windows before my eyes flew to the table in the right corner of the room.

“YAH!”

I glared at the person’s backside, while watching the person hammering away on his keyboard, totally into that stupid game.

“YAH! Who told you to open the windows in the middle of winter?”

The person turned around and tried his best to pout.

“I was feeling hot, hyung!”

“Argh, you are insane! You are always feeling hot! Why do I have to put up with you?”

“Mianhae, Hyung! Saranghae!”

My eyes softened.

I never managed to be mad at him when he looked at me like that.

Before I could answer anything the person disappeared in front of my eyes.

“No” I whispered and tears were brimming in my eyes.

I brushed them away furiously, before I rushed to my bag lying on my bed.

I emptied the contents of my bag on my bed and roamed through the stuff scattered around frantically.

My head started to spin.

I saw pictures of a handsome young male hugging me and laughing like mad.

I saw pictures of an innocent male being all sad after his father’s burial.

I saw a dimple smile.

An evil Cinderella smirk.

A group hug after winning an award.

Pranks.

Laughter.

A dimple smile.

A young male.

An innocent fish.

A cute cook in the kitchen.

A pissed off beauty.

A wide smile by a young actor.

A glare by a raccoon.

Voices.

A beautiful voice.

I couldn’t take it.

I sent everything from my bed crashing to the floor with a furious movement.

A beautiful voice.

I sank to the ground, tears running down my face.

“Stop it!” I heard myself plead in between sobs.

I covered my ears and closed my eyes to make everything stop.

“Stop it! Stop it! Stop it!”

My heart clenched hurtfully when more scenes kept on playing in my mind.

Happy moments.

Sad moments.

Funny moments.

Miserable moments.

A dimple smile.

A fish.

A Cinderella.

A beautiful voice.

Tears streamed down my face endlessly.

It needed to stop!

I needed it to stop!

I stood up with shaky knees and made my way to the medicine cabinet in the bathroom.

Anything would do!

I looked around and poured some random pills in my hand.

A lot of them!

Anything to kill the pain!

I was about to take them when a hand caught my wrist and I was pulled around forcefully.

The pills flew through the room and I looked at the person in front of me in shock.

Beautiful cat-like eyes.

Furious eyes.

“Minnie, are you insane?”

A heavenly voice.

A hurting voice.

I smiled and tears were running down my face once again.

“Mianhae!”

A handsome smile.

A sad smile.

“Don’t…d…just…don’t ever do something like that ever again! I couldn’t take it!”

I touched his hair in a soothing way.

Soft brown tousled hair.

Smooth red hair.

I felt his arms around my body and I felt myself breaking down.

I cried.

I cried out all the pain.

“Mianhae, hyung! Mianhae! If it wasn’t me but him who stayed alive at least you would be happier now!”

My heart clenched painfully.

What have I done?

What have I done to myself?

What have I done to the people I love?

Selfish!

I’m not the only one hurting.

The brown hair disappeared and I could see the red head’s shaking body in my arms.

I hugged him closer.

“Mianhae! Mianhae Hyukie-ah!” I whispered.

Will I ever be able to live with all the pain?

Will he?

Will we all?

For now it has to be enough to feel the pain!

Losing a loved one is painful!

xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

I stared at the two guys hugging, crying, breaking down.

My heart broke with theirs.

So much pain!

And I knew I caused all this!

If it wasn’t for my special hearing the silent sob next to me probably would have escaped my notice.

I looked at the person hiding with me in the dark shadows of the hallway leading to the bathroom.

I saw the small droplets of tears streaming down his face while watching the two guys through the open bathroom door.

I was curious.

I leaned in to kiss away the tear on his cheek.

Once again he stiffened.

I chuckled.

“Don’t worry, hyung, I won’t do anything to you! I was just curious!”

He looked at me irritated.

I licked my lips.

“Still salty, your tears!”

He brushed away his tears immediately.

“You know, everyone always stiffens around me, even you! That pains me!” I said, trying to sound amused, hiding my actual pain deep inside me.

I looked at the two crying figures in the bathroom again.

For once I wished I would be able to still cry too.

I tensed when I felt arms wrapping around my body from behind.

He kissed my neck softly.

Once.

Twice.

“Mianhae! Cheongmal mianhae! It has nothing to do with you…even if it wouldn’t be for…for that…I just…my heart is with him and being the way we are, it is hard to stay away from affection! I would feel like cheating! I would be cheating! I’m not strong enough to withstand the temptation”

I sighed, enjoying this short-lived moment of affection, which would have been no problem between us way back when we were human, but was so seldom now.

I felt his heat radiating against my back and sighed.

Silence.

Peace!

I glanced at the bathroom and saw the two guys hugging each other, sleeping exhausted in each other’s arms.

“That was a close call, hyung! How did you manage to bring, Hyukie-hyung back to the dorm so fast to make him stop Minnie-hyung?”

I shuttered when I felt his hand touching my chest just at the part where my heart was supposed to beat.

“Even though mine isn’t beating anymore, our hearts are still connected! He just knew he had to return! So he left Hankyung behind and ran all the way here!”

I felt envious.

Love!

Something that probably will never be something I will experience for real.

He let go of me and then walked over to the bathroom to pick up the sleeping dancer in his arms.

I had to grin.

Just like the way it was when we all were still together and returned from a schedule late at night and Donghae had to carry Hyukjae up to the dorm, Hyukjae still snuggled his head into Donghae’s neck unconsciously.

Donghae looked at me and then pointed his head in the direction of the sleeping Sungmin..

“Take him to bed!”

I nodded and watched as Donghae made his way to Hyukjae’s room.

“Oh, and Kyuhyunnie?”

I looked over to him.

“Neh?”

“Return those antidepressants to Sungmin-hyung! Don’t push him too much!”

I sighed.

“Fine! But if he turns into an emotionless zombie once again, it isn’t my fault!”

Donghae chuckled and disappeared in Hyukjae-hyung’s room.

I took the sleeping Sungmin to bed and looked at him for a while.

He looked sad!

But sad was better than nothing, right?

I touched his cheek for a second to brush away his tears.

My eyes widened in shock when I saw his eyes snap open and stare at me.

I didn’t dare to move.

Or should I run?

“Mianhae, Kyuhyun-ah! I never told you how much I loved you! Mianhae!”

With that, new tears appeared in his eyes and he turned away.

His breathing slowed down and I knew he fell asleep again.

I blinked.

Once.

Twice.

Then I fled.

I jumped out of the window and felt the cold air around me as I fell to the ground.

I landed gracefully on the ground and ran.

I just ran.

Not sure where to go.

He loved me!

All this time he had loved me?

He must have meant as a dongsaeng, as a band mate, as a friend, right?

Just the way I loved him!

No reason to panic now!

I felt a weird flash of air right next to me.

I stopped in my tracks right outside of Seoul.

I looked around.

I heard a cute chuckle and then a tap to my back.

I turned my head to look behind me.

As expected no one was around.

Another chuckle.

I rolled my eyes.

I listened to the air around me and right before another finger could touch me I swirled around and caught a wrist in my hands.

“Ow, Oppa, that hurts!”

I rolled my eyes at the beautiful small girl in front of me.

Her hair fell down her back in perfect light brown locks.

Her eyes were similar to mine.

Cat-like.

I let go of her.

“What are you doing here?” I asked annoyed.

She pouted.

“What? Can’t I be with my fiancée?”

I groaned.

“HyunAe, for the thousandth time, I’m not your fiancée!”

She continued her cute pouting before her lips spread into a smile.

Suddenly her body was pressed up to mine and her arms around my hips.

Her head rested on my chest, while her hands roamed slowly over my body.

For once it was me that stiffened.

I tried to make her let go.

“Will you sing for me again tonight, Oppa?”

I let go of her shoulders and my arms sank to my side lifeless.

“I won’t sing for you! Not tonight, not ever again!”

She sighed.

“Such a pity, Oppa! You have such a lovely voice! It made me fall for you!”

I groaned and pushed her away forcefully.

She pouted when she landed on the ground.

“Stay away from me, HyunAe! I’m not even supposed to talk to you!”

With that I turned away to head back home.

“Damn, Eeteuk-Oppa with his rules!” she hissed behind me.

I groaned.

Another topic that made me irritated.

It was time for me to go back home and get rid of all those confusing feelings.

xoxoxoxoxoxo

I smiled after him.

He was such a cute guy, always so much fun to mess with.

And handsome!

Boy, that guy was handsome!

And his voice?

A dreamy sigh left my mouth thinking about his voice.

The voice of an angel, yet sexy as the voice of a devil.

A voice that made me fall in love with him!

I groaned frustrated.

Why was he so stubborn on that topic?

Why can’t he just sing for me again?

I brushed my hair out of my forehead, realizing that I still held something in my hand.

I chuckled.

In his panic by being hugged by me, that guy didn’t even notice that I snatched it from the back-pocket of his pants.

I looked at the old piece of paper in my hands.

A photography!

I sighed dreamily when I saw the guy, my guy, on the picture.

Must be his human-self.

He looked way thinner back then and of course younger.

His hair looked a little longer than now, fuzzy in a cute way.

He smiled to the camera.

Did I ever see him smile like that?

My eyes wandered to the person standing next to him.

The guy was a little smaller and thicker than my love.

Well, of course, my love was way too thin back then, so everyone would look thicker next to him.

The guy had light brown hair and warm eyes.

The guy’s cute smile caught my interest.

He was a cute guy, way cuter than my love.

I liked cute things.

Is that the guy my love is following around all the time?

They seemed to be good friends, maybe even more than that.

I chuckled to myself.

“Minnie-hyung and I! “Sorry Sorry” Comeback!” I read out the writing on the back of the picture.

Well, this will be fun!

“See you soon, Minnie Oppa!”

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So, what do you think about this chapter? Are you guys so far able to pick up on the characters? ^^

Chapter 3: The Guilty Soul & The Believer: kyyra1986.livejournal.com/4605.html