At The End
Title: At The End
Fandom: The Losers
Rating: pg-13/ R (for mentioned but non -detailed nudity and 'ass'
WordCount: roughly 1700
Warnings: established Cougs/ Jensen relationship. spoilers for (what i know of) the end of the comic. near- death fic. expect the urge to tear up (keep tissues handy)
Disclaimer:: I do NOT own 'the losers' as either comic or movie, i own nothing but the emo-ness. I do not own Bugs Bunny.
They'd been together for a long time. It seems longer than the years say, between harsh missions, family, and struggles of life. They've been part of the same team for over five years, an intimate couple for three years and a few months. It's a long time for the both of them, no matter the numbers. And when they escaped for Christmas that one year, Cougar made a promise. Jensen gave him momentarily soft eyes, and a chaste kiss on the cheek that made his niece squeal in childish delight.
At the end, once again it was the two of them. Double trouble, elite soldiers, the last two living members of the team. Cougar's body had been riddled with gashes and holes, Jensen looking worse for wear but still highly mobile. They were in a small gulley just outside a small complex, and an inconspicuous little bomb sat in the dust by Cougar's hip. The two of them, just them in all the world in that moment. “Go. Get out of here.”
Jensen scowled at Cougar's wheezing voice. He pulled another wad of gauze and shoved it against the wound in Cougar's ribs, not daring to think if it was too deep. “I can't leave you. I won't be the only one to walk away. I can't do it.” Not again. Tears refused to spill down his cheeks, but his voice was thick with them. A deep reminder of a whispered memory, before the Losers, and Cougar tried to force his body to hang in there just a moment longer. He didn't want to send Jensen back home alone, but he couldn't explain this.
“Go. Find shelter up the ridge.” He felt the splatter of blood on his lips as he coughed, knew the cold grasping threat of death. Jensen's hand cupped his cheek, and he met shiny blue eyes with fading dark ones. He forced a last few words, gasping a little for the breath eluding him. “Promised you... trust me. Never leave you.”
Lips then, lips pressed together in a hard, desperate kiss, laid deep with emotions named and known and returned. Cougar could feel the agony in Jensen, the way he shook and clung for a moment, and he feared Jensen staying. Feared he would be caught in a blast he could save himself from but not his love. His lips formed 'please' even as his voice failed him.
Jensen took off toward the ridge of half- crumbling rock and shrub, his brittle, half limping run accentuated by the gasping breaths holding back the flood of tears. There was a letter tucked in his jacket, to a new widow that deserved these last words; a memory of words spoken that would be delivered to the man who had ordered this mission; love aching in his chest for the man he was losing. He managed to find a standing hunk of solid rock half buried, ducking behind it and wrapping his arms tight just before his world rocked in an explosive burst of sensation.
____
Death hurt. Death always hurt, somehow. Coming back didn't hurt. Death and rebirth.. well, they weren't so separate for him, so maybe one pain blended into the other. But by the time he opened his eyes, the pain had been burned into another memory, other moments of death. He'd had many of those, more than the team had ever suspected. If they'd ever really known...
The bomb had done its job. He stood up, peering up the edges of the concave hole some ten feet deep, looking at the crater formed. There was minute debris down here, things he didn't want to think about, and debris scattered throughout the blast zone. It had been impressive, larger then originally estimated. The near side of the ridge had been flattened in that way only a true explosion could create, and a pang of fear arched through him. Had Jensen been able to find suitable cover in time? It made him turn back to the ridge and study it better. There was a flicker of something, alive, on the other side.
He was beyond happy to see Jensen's bent form, cradled in the lee side of an outcropping. Pleased to realize the concussion blast had merely knocked his lover out, instead of hurling him into a tree or some other fatal disturbance. He knelt, cradled Jensen's body into his arms, and started walking. He wasn't certain there wouldn't be someone out eventually to check out the explosion, whether from the blast, or satellite observation or whatever else. He didn't think of how far it'd be to real humanity, to something resembling civilization, or how heavy Jensen's body was supposed to be. Just focused on letting his feet eat away the miles and pushing that otherness that always brought him back into Jensen, an offering to keep him alive. He wasn't sure if it could work... and he didn't want to think of what it might mean if Jensen's life slipped through his fingers now.
It was damn near sunset before Cougar sought shelter, after the first signs Jensen was trying to pull back into the conscious world. A rundown shack that was little better than a hovel, but it had a mostly whole roof and more than two walls. Stable, sturdy enough for the night. He settled Jensen onto the floor and began checking every wound he could find.
____
He didn't know how long he floated in that mostly unconscious state. And he knew it was that, because it was the only time in his adult life when he and Bugs Bunny ever talked. Well, it passed for talking. He and the rabbit would pass tales of close calls and pranks from hell., but this time Bugs was silent. His grey ears were laid back, and Jensen merely smiled and told Bugs about the clusterfuck of their last mission. He told Bugs about how deeply he cared for his teammate, the sacrifice Cougar had made, and that he didn't want to go back there. He'd rather stay here with the Bugs 'cause it had to be better than facing reality, right? Who would want to go back when their entire team and their lover just got dragged away??
It was a bit disconcerting, then, when Bugs melted away and his sister took residence in the chair instead. He gave her a glancing glare before all the energy in the look faded. “You're an idiot.” Her voice is tinny, and the wrong tone, but then again, it's his own little slice of dream-like hell. “You are an idiot that I love too much, and you'll come back or I will kick your ass.”
He snorted, then froze, because the person across the little tea-table changed one more time. Cougar, dirty, roughed up, but alive. “Come back. Come back, Jake. I need you.”
“You're dead.” He could hear the panic and pain in his own voice, echoing slightly in his dream. “You're dead.”
“I swore forever. Now open your eyes for me. Wake up.”
Waking up was sluggish, syrupy resistance, and his grief clung at him, trying to keep him under. Light, when it reached his eyes, was dim and filtered, and dust burned through his head in the wake of the aftermath of the day. But the place was definitely not where he'd last been. “Coug'r?”
Calloused fingers latched onto to his twitching ones, and Jensen whimpered at the familiar sensations. A thumb running across the inside of his wrist, and a low murmuring voice that his sleepy, reluctant mind refused to process into words. No, not sleepy. Just exhausted. Mission, fear, explosion, grief. He didn't want to come back to nothing... but something was telling him there was something. Someone. Cougar. His Cougar.
“Cougs!”
Arms wrapped completely around him, then. Familiar arms, with a scent of cordite and lead, and a voice that could reach as deep into him as anything else in this world. A voice he could now understand, promising love, and fidelity, and forever. He finally pried his eyes open, to look upon his lover and ensure that this was truly, completely real. He followed the familiar line of shoulder and neck through to the face, but this face looked different, new. Not the blood-stained and bruised features from earlier, and that made Jensen start probing his fingers along Cougar's chest, seeking the fatal wounds. His fingers found nothing but solid flesh, naked skin and toned muscles, until his fingers swept back and ran into something that really shouldn't have been there. Slightly fuzzy projections from Cougar's shoulders, and his fingers ran up them to encounter feathers. He ran his hands along what he could feel, leaning close to look over Cougar's shoulder and taking in the frail wings quivering in his hold. They were small, barely wider than Cougar's shoulders, and a dull grey. He slid his fingers along the bracing arch of the wing, and Cougar shuddered against him.
“Cougar?” He leaned back a little so to see his lover's face, eyes rolled back and half closed, with that look upon his skin. Cougar panted for a second before blinking his eyes back open. “My wings. Each time I come back, they get darker. When they go black I won't be able to come back anymore. They'll be gone by morning.”
He couldn't understand it, but Jensen shook his head and wrapped his arms around his lover, holding him tightly. He'd ask questions later, about the how and why and how long, but for now he reaffirmed that he wasn't going to have to go back alone, that there was one little blessing waiting for him. He inhaled that aroma that was always Cougar's, then let himself fall pliant to the aches of his beaten body.
“Forever?”
“As long as you want me.”