deconstructing feminazism via the medium of a joke
I recently was subjected to this annoying and unfunny 'joke' I forgot where, probably some lame ass wall post on facebook, or a shit bulletin on myspace... I managed to find it on someone's blog, I'll post the full joke and then do an unbiased line by line analysis (I should mention on this person's blog, someone had commented 'haha if only it were so easy for them to understand' to this I shake my head, I'm hoping that person was hit by a truck driving AIDS ridden tumours somewhere)
"A man was sick of going to work everyday while his wife stayed at home. He wanted her to see what he went through. So he prayed, “Dear Lord, I go to work everyday and put in 8 hours while my wife merely stays at home. I want her to know what I go through, so please create a trade in our bodies.” God in his infinite wisdom granted the man’s wish.
The next morning, sure enough the man awoke as a woman. He rose, cooked breakfast for his mate, awakened the kids, set out their school clothes, fed them breakfast, packed their lunches, drove them to school, came home and picked up the dry cleaning, took it to the cleaners and stopped at the bank to draw out money to pay to the power bill and telephone bill, drove to the power company and the phone company and paid the bills, went grocery shopping, came home and put away the groceries.
He cleaned the cat’s litter box and bathed the dog. Then it was already 1.00 PM and he hurried to make the beds, do laundry, vacuum, dust and sweep and mop the floor. He ran to school to pick the kids and got into an argument with one them on the way home. He set out the cookies and milk and got the kids ready to do their homework, then set the ironing board and watched T V while he did the ironing.
At 4.30 PM he began peeling potatoes and washed the greens for salads breaded the chops and snapped the fresh peas for supper.
After supper, he cleaned the kitchen, ran the dishwasher, folded the laundry, bathed the kids, and put them to bed.
At 9.00 PM he was exhausted and though his chores weren’t finished, he went to bed where he was expected to make love, which he managed to get through without complaint.
The next morning he awoke and immediately knelt by the bed and said, “Lord, I don’t know what I was thinking. I was wrong to envy my wife’s being able to stay at home all day. Please, O please, let us trade back.”
The Lord, in His infinite wisdom, replied, “My son, I feel you have learned your lesson and I will be happy to change things back to the way they were, but you will have to wait 9 months though. You got pregnant last night”!"
fucking awful eh? let's examine this in more detail......
The next morning, sure enough the man awoke as a woman. He rose, cooked breakfast for his mate
I'm sure pouring a bowl of cheerios, and making a cup of instant coffee really doesn't constitute "cooking"
awakened the kids, set out their school clothes, fed them breakfast, packed their lunches, drove them to school
how lucky that these people don't have a school bus service, it's strange that a parent would be lazy enough to drive their kids to school and yet make them a lunch every day.....
came home and picked up the dry cleaning
So this family doesnt have a washing machine and opts to dry clean everything? I've never heard of ANYONE doing daily dry cleaning...
took it to the cleaners and stopped at the bank to draw out money to pay to the power bill and telephone bill, drove to the power company and the phone company and paid the bills
I dont even know where my power and phone companies are, I either pay online, over the phone or put a cheque in the post.... this is total fabrication, nobody drives to the actual place to pay the bills!
went grocery shopping, came home and put away the groceries.
yet again a once (MAYBE twice) weekly event which apparently women do every single day... and if they do it every day, they can't be buying excessive amounts, so the actual shopping and putting away time is negligible....
He cleaned the cat’s litter box and bathed the dog
Oh no! he cleaned a cats litter box? that must have taken all of 5 minutes! and if your dog needs bathing daily, it has something seriously wrong with it....
Then it was already 1.00 PM and he hurried to make the beds, do laundry, vacuum, dust and sweep and mop the floor.
seems like someone has pissed away the morning, with their insistence on driving to the utility company to pay the fucking bills and shampooing a clean dog...and what laundry is being done? it's all at the dry cleaners remember?
He ran to school to pick the kids and got into an argument with one them on the way home
they were still travelling so the fact that an argument took place changes nothing... why even mention it?
He set out the cookies and milk
unless he was baking them from scratch and squeezing it from the teat of the animal, it takes about a minute to do this...... that's including unwrapping the cookies if they're in a particularly difficult wrapper....I can't believe this was included... how very hard done to women are.....
then set the ironing board and watched T V while he did the ironing.
dry cleaners..... TV... nuff said I reckon
After supper, he cleaned the kitchen, ran the dishwasher, folded the laundry, bathed the kids, and put them to bed.
ran the dishwasher??!! you can hardly whinge about a time saving device..... if kids are going to school and doing homework, they can bathe themselves, and I'm at pains to state there IS no fucking laundry.....
At 9.00 PM he was exhausted and though his chores weren’t finished
sounded pretty fucking finished to me....
he went to bed where he was expected to make love, which he managed to get through without complaint
well, I didnt realise sex was hell for women, without complaint eh? jesus H christ....
The next morning he awoke and immediately knelt by the bed and said, “Lord, I don’t know what I was thinking. I was wrong to envy my wife’s being able to stay at home all day. Please, O please, let us trade back.”
The Lord, in His infinite wisdom, replied, “My son, I feel you have learned your lesson and I will be happy to change things back to the way they were, but you will have to wait 9 months though. You got pregnant last night”!
well, there you have it.... I've nothing to say about this bit, I think it critiques itself quite well enough really....
I've been a house husband, and my day consisted of the following:
woke up at 5:00am and ate breakfast with the family, after they left at 5:45 I went back to bed and slept until 11am, I woke up, perhaps had a wank, watched TV, read a book, ate a bit of lunch, sat on my arse again, washed the dishes (45 minutes) tidied the toys and stuff up (30 minutes) did a bit of laundry (30 mins tops) had a shower, then listened to music until the family got home. I'm prepared to allow an extra 10 minutes of work per day for the non daily tasks (vacuuming, mopping the floor, cleaning the bathroom)
so my grand total runs to about 2 hours a day of leisurly "work"
so next time you see something like this, do me a favour and mail a turd to the author....
"A man was sick of going to work everyday while his wife stayed at home. He wanted her to see what he went through. So he prayed, “Dear Lord, I go to work everyday and put in 8 hours while my wife merely stays at home. I want her to know what I go through, so please create a trade in our bodies.” God in his infinite wisdom granted the man’s wish.
The next morning, sure enough the man awoke as a woman. He rose, cooked breakfast for his mate, awakened the kids, set out their school clothes, fed them breakfast, packed their lunches, drove them to school, came home and picked up the dry cleaning, took it to the cleaners and stopped at the bank to draw out money to pay to the power bill and telephone bill, drove to the power company and the phone company and paid the bills, went grocery shopping, came home and put away the groceries.
He cleaned the cat’s litter box and bathed the dog. Then it was already 1.00 PM and he hurried to make the beds, do laundry, vacuum, dust and sweep and mop the floor. He ran to school to pick the kids and got into an argument with one them on the way home. He set out the cookies and milk and got the kids ready to do their homework, then set the ironing board and watched T V while he did the ironing.
At 4.30 PM he began peeling potatoes and washed the greens for salads breaded the chops and snapped the fresh peas for supper.
After supper, he cleaned the kitchen, ran the dishwasher, folded the laundry, bathed the kids, and put them to bed.
At 9.00 PM he was exhausted and though his chores weren’t finished, he went to bed where he was expected to make love, which he managed to get through without complaint.
The next morning he awoke and immediately knelt by the bed and said, “Lord, I don’t know what I was thinking. I was wrong to envy my wife’s being able to stay at home all day. Please, O please, let us trade back.”
The Lord, in His infinite wisdom, replied, “My son, I feel you have learned your lesson and I will be happy to change things back to the way they were, but you will have to wait 9 months though. You got pregnant last night”!"
fucking awful eh? let's examine this in more detail......
The next morning, sure enough the man awoke as a woman. He rose, cooked breakfast for his mate
I'm sure pouring a bowl of cheerios, and making a cup of instant coffee really doesn't constitute "cooking"
awakened the kids, set out their school clothes, fed them breakfast, packed their lunches, drove them to school
how lucky that these people don't have a school bus service, it's strange that a parent would be lazy enough to drive their kids to school and yet make them a lunch every day.....
came home and picked up the dry cleaning
So this family doesnt have a washing machine and opts to dry clean everything? I've never heard of ANYONE doing daily dry cleaning...
took it to the cleaners and stopped at the bank to draw out money to pay to the power bill and telephone bill, drove to the power company and the phone company and paid the bills
I dont even know where my power and phone companies are, I either pay online, over the phone or put a cheque in the post.... this is total fabrication, nobody drives to the actual place to pay the bills!
went grocery shopping, came home and put away the groceries.
yet again a once (MAYBE twice) weekly event which apparently women do every single day... and if they do it every day, they can't be buying excessive amounts, so the actual shopping and putting away time is negligible....
He cleaned the cat’s litter box and bathed the dog
Oh no! he cleaned a cats litter box? that must have taken all of 5 minutes! and if your dog needs bathing daily, it has something seriously wrong with it....
Then it was already 1.00 PM and he hurried to make the beds, do laundry, vacuum, dust and sweep and mop the floor.
seems like someone has pissed away the morning, with their insistence on driving to the utility company to pay the fucking bills and shampooing a clean dog...and what laundry is being done? it's all at the dry cleaners remember?
He ran to school to pick the kids and got into an argument with one them on the way home
they were still travelling so the fact that an argument took place changes nothing... why even mention it?
He set out the cookies and milk
unless he was baking them from scratch and squeezing it from the teat of the animal, it takes about a minute to do this...... that's including unwrapping the cookies if they're in a particularly difficult wrapper....I can't believe this was included... how very hard done to women are.....
then set the ironing board and watched T V while he did the ironing.
dry cleaners..... TV... nuff said I reckon
After supper, he cleaned the kitchen, ran the dishwasher, folded the laundry, bathed the kids, and put them to bed.
ran the dishwasher??!! you can hardly whinge about a time saving device..... if kids are going to school and doing homework, they can bathe themselves, and I'm at pains to state there IS no fucking laundry.....
At 9.00 PM he was exhausted and though his chores weren’t finished
sounded pretty fucking finished to me....
he went to bed where he was expected to make love, which he managed to get through without complaint
well, I didnt realise sex was hell for women, without complaint eh? jesus H christ....
The next morning he awoke and immediately knelt by the bed and said, “Lord, I don’t know what I was thinking. I was wrong to envy my wife’s being able to stay at home all day. Please, O please, let us trade back.”
The Lord, in His infinite wisdom, replied, “My son, I feel you have learned your lesson and I will be happy to change things back to the way they were, but you will have to wait 9 months though. You got pregnant last night”!
well, there you have it.... I've nothing to say about this bit, I think it critiques itself quite well enough really....
I've been a house husband, and my day consisted of the following:
woke up at 5:00am and ate breakfast with the family, after they left at 5:45 I went back to bed and slept until 11am, I woke up, perhaps had a wank, watched TV, read a book, ate a bit of lunch, sat on my arse again, washed the dishes (45 minutes) tidied the toys and stuff up (30 minutes) did a bit of laundry (30 mins tops) had a shower, then listened to music until the family got home. I'm prepared to allow an extra 10 minutes of work per day for the non daily tasks (vacuuming, mopping the floor, cleaning the bathroom)
so my grand total runs to about 2 hours a day of leisurly "work"
so next time you see something like this, do me a favour and mail a turd to the author....