(no subject)
You're a part time lover and a full time friend
The monkey on you're back is the latest trend
I don't see what anyone can see, in anyone else
But you
I kiss you on the brain in the shadow of a train
I kiss you all starry eyed, my body's swinging from side to side
I don't see what anyone can see, in anyone else
But you
Here is the church and here is the steeple
We sure are cute for two ugly people
I don't see what anyone can see, in anyone else
But you
The pebbles forgive me, the trees forgive me
So why can't, you forgive me?
I don't see what anyone can see, in anyone else
But you
I will find my nitch in your car
With my mp3 DVD rumple-packed guitar
I don't see what anyone can see, in anyone else
But you
Du du du du du du dudu
Du du du du du du dudu
Du du du du du du dudu du
Up up down down left right left right B A start
Just because we use cheats doesn't mean we're not smart
I don't see what anyone can see, in anyone else
But you
You are always trying to keep it real
I'm in love with how you feel
I don't see what anyone can see, in anyone else
But you
We both have shiny happy fits of rage
You want more fans, I want more stage
I don't see what anyone can see, in anyone else
But you
Don Quixote was a steel driving man
My name is Adam I'm your biggest fan
I don't see what anyone can see, in anyone else
But you
Squinched up your face and did a dance
You shook a little turd out of the bottom of your pants
I don't see what anyone can see, in anyone else
But you
Du du du du du du dudu
Du du du du du du dudu
Du du du du du du dudu du
But you
"Anyone Else But You"
-The Moldy Peaches
This blanket reminds me of home. It was my grandmas. I wish she was still around. I really don't remember her. She died when I was four or five. I wish my other grandma was around too. She died when I was twelve or thirteen. I wish I had a grandfather that was alive while I was alive. My dad always tells me about his dad. The sports buff. He played basketball. I'm sure he could've taught me a lot. It would have been nice to have that older figure on the sidelines cheering me on. My dad said on the weekends (game days) he would have two TVs going and two radios. All with the different games. He could've taught me a lot.
I don't know why. But I feel so alone. And I don't like that feeling. And I wish I didn't have it. But right now, I just don't know what to do about it. I don't know. I don't know what to do about anything anymore. My emotions are everywhere. Hopefully this will all end with my period in a few days. I hope.
I need to start working on my novel for my novel writing class. That should be interesting. I'm scared though. Scared to reveal too much of myself in my character. I've decided the protagonist will be a girl. Write what you know. I know that. Guess well see.
I should probably go out tonight. I don't know. I just have no motivation too. That also scares me. Hmm. I was just invited to go snowboarding tomorrow. I wish I had the money to go. But I know I don't. And the job search has still been negative.
But of all my fears, losing you is still top priority. Especially when you go for that weekend with your friends. I don't know why I've been so against it. Jealousy? A little. I wish I could go with you. And it sucks not being able to do anything about it. You waited and its your turn. I wish it happened more than once a year then maybe you would wait to go with me. But who am I to ask you to wait? Who am I to ask you not to go? No one. It's something you really want to do. I just don't understand fully why. To have a good time? Don't you have a good time with me? I wish that you did. To have a good time with your friends? You have to spend so much money on that? Thats another big thing. The money. I feel like we haven't been doing much because of the lack of it. But now you're gathering all this for splurging on that. On parties... Sigh. I don't know. It is your life. You have to make yourself happy. Cause who else will? I guess not me... not the way you make yourself happy. Or the way your friends do. I think the main problem I have is I wish you and I were going somewhere special and having fun. I am jealous. And I hear of your ex and their significant other going on a trip to Big Bear or whatever. And now your sister and her significant other going on a little vacation. Just them. I wish I had that. I wish it was just us. But I guess we're together too much? Yes, space is good. But so is quality time and little trips. But I would never directly ask you to do anything. I don't think I would. I would hint and hint and hint. But sigh. I don't know.
I don't really like where I am right now. I need to talk to someone. I don't know who. No matter how much we'll talk about it you'll always see it from your perspective. I may as well stop caring about it. Or at least stop showing that I care about it, its going to happen.
Nothing else to say.