A Clarification on my last entry
after reading my last enry, people have been saying things like, " you gotta get over ths puppy love" or " I though you said you wanted him to move on" or " I though you were just his friend, why is it so wierd?". It's not cause i still want him, want him back, secretly want more than friends, have been lying to him about how i feel, or have been lying to myself. It is nothing even fucking like that. Picture your ex kissing someone you know. It's still a little painy right? It's just kinda wierd. It's just that all of a sudden it went from Brat and Me being stupid retarded little 5 year olds and lovin every minute of it to me being replaced, not as a girlfriend, but as a person. The new time he was spending with her had to come from somewhere right? And who did he used to spend pretty much every waking moment with? yeah, that's right. Then came the wierdness of him. Him being wierd around me, us not being able to just be retarded the way we used to cause if I like, bounced the wrong way he freaked. It's just cause it's wierd. It takes some getting used to. It's not like we had this horrible horrible break up and we're now mortal enemies. I still love the guy as my best friend. This is only the second time I've even seen them together, much less all over each other. It's like that cements it. This new shit situation I'm in is how it's going to be. At least that's what it feels like. It's funny cause he always used to say this little Phrase: " bros before hoes" meaning friends before chicks, right. Ha ha ha. He didn't do that when I was going out with him and I tried to fix that. Now he's doing it again, and now I'm the one it's happening to. This fuckin sucks. The summary is, I flipped because it was still wierd, not causse of anything else. It would have been fine when I went to leave except then he became asshole man. Everytime I leave crying or get off the phone crying with him I think about every other time and try to think of what's changed. I try to finally make myself strpng enough to carry out what I keep saying I'm going to do, for the sake of my own sanity, and not hang with him anymore.