today's quote
"[...] Miss Vane -- I admired you for speaking as you did tonight. Detachment is a rare virtue, and very few people find it lovable, either in themselves or in others. If you ever find a person who likes you in spite of it -- still more, because of it -- that liking has very great value, because it is perfectly sincere, and because, with that person, you will never need to be anything but sincere yourself."
"That is probably very true," said Harriet, "but what makes you say it?"
"Not any desire to offend you, believe me. But I imagine you come across a number of people who are disconcerted by the difference between what you do feel and what they fancy you ought to feel. It is fatal to pay the smallest attention to them."
"Yes," said Harriet, "but I am one of them. I disconcert myself very much. I never know what I do feel."
"I don't think it matters, provided one doesn't doesn't try to persuade oneself into appropriate feelings."
[...]
"But one has to make some sort of choice," said Harriet. "And between one desire and another, how is one to know which things are really of overmastering importance?"
"We can only know that," said Miss de Vine, "when they have overmastered us."
Dorothy Sayers, Gaudy Night