Multi-chapter | It's Complicated | chapter 15 - Final
Title: It’s Complicated
Author: kyu_x
Beta: lovekame02
Main pairing(s): Akame, Ryopi
Side pairing(s): Ryo/Kame, Pin
Disclaimer: Not mine.
Summary: RyoKame and Pin are going to the same therapist for the same reasons, they’re not happy on their relationship. The therapist gets the idea to get Akame and RyoPi together to notice what they looses if they loose their loved ones. Does this help at all? Or does it only make things more complicated?
CHAPTER 15 - “The End”
“Here,” Ryo placed his home keys into a hand, a little bigger than his. He was afraid of looking into the other one’s eyes because of what he said. “He should be sleeping when you’ll get there.”
“Thank you, Nishikido.” Jin said, and when Ryo lifted his eyes on the level of Jin’s, he gave him a warm smile, like it was all forgotten. “So Pi doesn’t know you’re going there now?”
Jin was quite surprised when Ryo called him and told him to meet Ryo now. He was hoping he’d get some information of Kazuya, but instead Ryo told he should go meet Kazuya, and handed over his key.
“No, he thinks we’re meeting in an hour at the combini near your place.”
They were quite for awhile, neither one knowing what to say. Both of them had their eyes on somewhere else than the other. Jin was watching the keys in his hands, and couldn’t help but smiling to the thought he’d be able to see Kazuya in a matter of minutes. Ryo, on the other hand was trying to make his eyes go everywhere but on Jin. He was worried of Kazuya, but in the mean while happy to know he’d be able to share few more moments with Pi.
“I’ll be back in few hours,” Ryo said then, and before he left, he placed his palm on Jin’s shoulder, making a direct eye contact for the first time. “Take a good care of him, Akanishi.”
“I will.”
“And I’m sorry about what I said to you in the hospital, I was wrong.”
--
Jin didn’t know why he was so nervous. He felt like a teenager, picking up a date to the school prom, or meeting the parents for the first time. He shouldn’t feel this nervous. Instead of knocking the door or ringing the bell, Jin smelled himself, making sure he wasn’t sweaty. He came right away from the meeting with Ryo. The only two minutes he stopped on the way was to pick flowers for Kazuya.
He wasn’t even sure if getting flowers would be the right decision. He came to tell Kazuya that he loved him and that he broke up with Pi, and he wanted a chance to get all over. That’s all. Jin knocked on the door, and when nobody answered, Jin suddenly felt stupid for even knocking. Ryo just gave him the key, and said Kazuya’s probably sleeping.
Jin opened the door as silently as possible, being careful if Kazuya was sleeping. A small smile came across his lips when he thought Kazuya’s face when he’d see Jin’s there when Kazuya would wake up. He closed the door behind him and slipped out of his shoes.
“Kazuya?” Jin called carefully and when there was no answer, he was pretty sure Kazuya indeed was asleep. Jin placed the flowers on the kitchen table on his way before stripping the jacket and hanged it on the chair next to the kitchen table.
His heart skipped when he saw Kazuya curled up in the bedroom, and all he wanted to do was to sat beside him, shake him gently and kiss him awake. He stepped closer and the smile he was wearing since he stepped in the house was gone on the sight in front of him, pieces of broken glass all over the floor and bed surrounded by water. “Kazuya?”
Jin’s heart sank when he saw the empty pack of pill next to Kazuya’s open palm. “No, no, no.” his steps got faster, and when he reached the bed, he placed his knee on it, turning Kazuya on his back. “No, no, no, no, no.” Jin’s hand hurried on Kazuya’s ice cold face, and the panic hit him. He tried to lower his fingers on Kazuya’s pulse and he couldn’t find it.
Jin had to bite his lip to keep it from shivering. No words came out, only some hoarse noises. With the panic that attacked him, Jin grabbed Kazuya’s hand and started pulling him on the floor, hearing silent bumps every time Kazuya’s body hit on something.
“Don’t you die on me, Kazuya! No, no!” he managed to let out when he dragged Kazuya by his hand to the closest bathroom. He lifted Kazuya on the tub, placing himself behind him, letting the tears of panic fell on his cheeks. “You can’t do this to me again, Kazuya!” Jin turned the tap hot and let the water fall on both of them, pulling Kazuya closer and bringing his index- and middle finger on Kazuya’s lips, forcing them in.
When he felt the gag reflect, a small relief hit his guts. He pushed his fingers just a little deeper and soon pulled them out and heard Kazuya throwing up for a brief few seconds and coughing. And when he turned to see Jin’s face, Jin pulled him closer, wrapping his arms around him, like he was never letting go.
Jin could hear Kazuya sobbing, so he hurried to caress Kazuya’s head pulling him to lean on Jin’s chest. Kazuya was alive. That was all he needed, even if Kazuya would hate him for saving him for the rest of his life, Jin wouldn’t let Kazuya die.
Jin dressed some Ryo’s big t-shirt and sweatpants on Kazuya. After going through Kazuya’s closet he couldn’t find anything loose, so he walked to Ryo’s instead. He kissed Kazuya’s forehead when he placed Kazuya on the bed, covering him up with a blanket before going to change his own clothes into some Ryo’s hoping they will fit. Gladly he found grey sweatpants and some white t-shit with rather big v-neck. He didn’t mind, though.
When he came back, he gave a proper look on Kazuya, who was looking at Jin under his blanket, like he was afraid he would have to talk about what happened. When Jin raised his knees on the bed, crawling next to Kazuya, he decided not to ask anything. If Kazuya wanted to talk about it, he’d listen. Of course he wanted to know, he felt like he needed to know, like he had the right to know, but he also knew it would make Kazuya feel uncomfortable and he should just wait.
“I missed you.” Kazuya whispered when Jin pulled him closer on his embrace. “I missed you so much,” he said and Jin wondered if Kazuya actually meant it or was it because Jin had just saved his life.
“I missed you too,” Jin placed a gentle kiss on Kazuya’s already dry hair, smelling it, and it had been so long since he’d smelled that warm, shade of strawberry and vanilla scent, and he really wouldn’t mind staying like that for the rest of their lives. Except they had to get up sooner or later, they had to talk, decide what they would do from now on, and decide what they would be.
“I’m so tired.”
Jin watched Kazuya closing his eyes, and he was sad because he wasn’t sure whether Kazuya meant he was tired and wanted to sleep, or he was tired of this situation and wanted to get some solution. The saddest thing was, Jin considered Kazuya even meaning he was tired of this life. And the thought of Kazuya thinking that way just made his heart sank even deeper into his chest, but instead of showing it, he pulled Kazuya even closer, as if it was possible and whispered into his ear, “Me too.”
--
Pi was in the middle of what-the-fuck-am-I-gonna-wear-crisis when he heard someone knocking on the door. He let out a groan, thinking why the hell Jin locked the door if he didn’t take the keys with him. Pi had promised to make him a dinner but he got a call and Pi suspected it was a call back for a job interview or something because right after it, Jin apologized for not being able to stay for dinner and pretty much left right away.
“I’m coming!” Pi got frustrated when he heard the knocking from the first time and he had to wonder if Jin had to go to toilet or something cause the knocking came like every 4 seconds. When he opened the door, there was no Jin standing in front of him. Quite opposite actually.
“R-Ryo? What are you-”
Pi was interrupted by a pair of soft lips and the warmth of the other one pushing them deeper into his apartment, and when Pi saw Ryo kicking the door closed after getting in, he closed his eyes and wrapped his arms around Ryo, letting him turn them over on the cough.
When Ryo broke the kiss, they had their eyes locked for seconds, but it felt like hours before they bumped their noses together letting out a small laugh. As Ryo felt Pi’s lips softly against his, he silently hoped that he would say the right words in the right way. He needed Pi to hear him and really understand it. After all, how do you tell someone that you screwed up royally and that you want everything to go back to the way it was before the whole Kazuya accident?
“I love you.” Ryo let out, not sure himself if he meant it, and the shock and surprise it brought to Pi’s face made Ryo think if he should regret saying it, but he couldn’t. And he didn’t. “And um,” suddenly Ryo started to think about what happened to Kazuya. If he would have been there for him, this would have never happened, if he wouldn’t have been working all the time, Kazuya would have never started this alcohol hobby of his, and none of this would have ever happened.
In the end, Ryo was blaming others, but it was his fault. Without him, nothing would have happened to Kazuya. Most likely he’d make Pi end up getting into drugs or whoring in streets. “I should leave.”
“What? No.” Pi gently grabbed Ryo’s sleeve, locking eyes with him. “Don’t leave.” he said and Ryo didn’t miss the desperate shade of his tone.
”If I could love you-”
“C-could? But you just said..” Pi lowered his voice, and Ryo couldn’t help but feel his heart skip on the disappointment in Pi’s voice. He wanted Ryo to love him.
“Pi, listen to me.” Ryo said then, he needed to make this one clear. Pi deserved everything in the world there was to give. And Ryo couldn’t be the one giving. “If I could love you without hurting you I-”
“You’re not Ryo! You’re not hurting me!”
“Look what happened to Kazuya.” Ryo hurried to say before Pi could continue. Ryo massaged his lips together, and he knew that Pi understood it wasn’t the easiest thing to talk about for him. “He started drinking because of me.”
Ryo could see how Pi didn’t like the way Ryo had just compared him to Kazuya. And he knew Pi was right. He shouldn’t compare for the two of them. He didn’t wait for Pi to say anything, but the way Pi was looking at him, Ryo couldn’t help but to feel a twist in his pants. Was Pi seducing him? Without realizing it?
“I guess I should probably get all emotional and honest and shit and tell you that I love you, too, right?” Pi said then and the smile he brought across Ryo’s lips was worth saying it.
Ryo brushed his fingertips just to the left of Pi’s bellybutton, the one place on Pi’s body that's ticklish. Ryo leaned down and kissed down his ribs and over his stomach, kissed the spot he just tickled, then across Pi’s tummy. Ryo moved so he was lying on the couch between Pi’s legs, and looked up at him from there. Ryo’s lips brushed the skin right where the desire was building in Pi’s stomach.
“We should move in properly.” Ryo let his eyes raise into Pi’s, snapping the button open from Pi’s jeans.
“Ryo..” Pi moaned and he didn't mean for it to sound so needy. Pi felt Ryo brushing his lips against his stomach, letting his tongue travel lower, leaving a wet line across his stomach. “Come up here. We should...God, Ryo, just...Can we think about that… moving in… thing?”
Ryo rolled his tongue over Pi’s manhood, smirking as Pi’s lower part wasn’t nearly as resistant as his upped body tried to be. “You think about it while I make you come,” he tells her. “Then we'll talk about it.”
They both knew he couldn't think of anything while Ryo was doing this.
--
Ryo’s I’ll be back in few hours changed into a text message saying be back tomorrow, and Jin didn’t really mind. He laid there with Kazuya for hours before getting up. He couldn’t sleep, he couldn’t stop thinking about Kazuya and the things he could do to him.
“Kazu,” Jin whispered softly, waking Kazuya up, and the truth was, when he saw Kazuya’s angelic face turning to face him, and when Jin brushed the hair away from covering that beautiful face, Jin had the urge to tell Kazuya just how madly he had fallen for him.
Instead he leaned in to brush their lips together. “Ryo text me he won’t be back until tomorrow so I’m staying here with you,” he smiled and when Kazuya raised to sit, Jin caressed his cheek.
Kazuya looked at Jin, and gave him a small smile, like it was all good now. Like everything had gone back to normal. “Kazuya, I..” Jin sat next to Kazuya, letting his hand drop on the bed to he could mingle their hands together. “I almost called emergency number again.” Jin massaged his lips together, trying his best not to shed a tear in front of Kazuya. He had enough of crying and feeling as weak as he did. “You have to promise me that you will never ever ever do that to me again.”
Jin lowered his look to focus on their eyes, and he let a soft sniff out. “You don’t have to tell me why you did it, but I deserve to hear you say you will never do it again,” he looked at Kazuya again, with tear-filled eyes. “Okay?”
When Kazuya nodded, Jin pulled him against his skin knowing that all he ever wanted was to feel Kazuya’s breath against his skin, to know Kazuya was alive, and happy. And Jin was determined to find out a way how he could be the one to do make it all happen.
“I love you,” Kazuya said, or more like whispered against Jin’s shoulder, and Jin pulled back enough to see Kazuya.
“What did you just say?” Jin asked, and when Kazuya lowered his eyes, he knew it was a mistake to be so shocked about it.
“I’m sorry, I-”
“I love you too, Kazuya.” Jin said before Kazuya could go further with his apology. “I’ve loved you for so long,” he said with a small chuckle finally hearing those three words from Kazuya. On that second he knew, they could fix this, they could bring it all back together.
****
There is an old adage that says "time heals all wounds." But the process of waiting on time to help you get through a devastating break-up, a life changing decision or a new and challenging stage in your life may sometimes feels like torture. However, it will always be easer if you have someone to share this with, someone to help you out, someone in your life who will always be there for you.
2 Years later
Pi walked up to where Ryo was reclined on the couch, arms folded behind his head, and steps between his boyfriends’ spread legs. The worn, frayed and baggy pants contrasted almost comically with Pi’s skin-tight white skinny jeans.
Ryo looked up at him, the beginning of a smirk playing at his lips, and tilts his head. “What’s up, babe?”
Raising one brow delicately and looking down at the bulkier man, Pi leaned forward until his lips nearly connect with Ryo’s, angling his head so he could place a light kiss on the corner of them. “I have a surprise for you,” he whispered, voice uncharacteristically low and husky.
“Oh yeah?” Ryo asked, hands unlatching from behind his head to rest on Pi’s waist. “What’s that?”
Pi pulled away and little, just enough to meet questioning brown eyes with his own, then moved forward, straddling Ryo. His knees resting on either side of Ryo’s hips, spread wide, and his ass resting on Ryo’s toned thighs.
“Here,” he said, threading a hand through Ryo’s hair, tugging their lips together once again, “let me show you.”
Smirking against Ryo’s lips, Pi used the tip of his tongue to trace around the other man’s mouth teasingly, delving deeper when the mouth he was circling opened to him. He pulled back after a quick swipe of his tongue over Ryo’s, and sucked Ryo’s low lip into his mouth.
Ryo groaned and moved his hips in little upward thrusts, dropping his hands to cup Pi’s ass in his palms. As Ryo squeezed his cheeks, pulling their groins tight together, Yamapi released Ryo’s lip, knowing that there would be a little bruise there later.
“What,” Ryo panted, “were you going to show me?”
Pi nipped Ryo’s upper lip, and then soothed the area with a light kiss. “This.” Bringing his other hand up to cup the side of Ryo’s face, Pi dived into the other boy’s mouth, tongue swiping a luxurious path over his answering tongue in a slick and familiar slide.
Ryo gasped into the kiss and stilled, pulling back a little to ask, “Is that..?”
“Yes,” Pi breathed. He licked his lips, tongue curling up, and moaned deep in his throat at the feeling of his tongue piercing, caressing both his upper and lower lips. Ryo’s eyes follow the movement rabidly, surprise and self-satisfaction painting his face.
“You- I thought you said you would never get one.” Ryo was smug as he was speaking, his kiss-reddened mouth quirking up in one corner.
“Yeah, well,” Pi began, “I may have reconsidered that decision once I thought about how useful it could be.” he let a smirk raise upon his face, and Ryo never really figured how Pi managed to make a smirk look so damn cute. “You can think of it as a late Christmas present.”
Eyes widening and a rush of arousal obviously peaking through his body, Ryo grinded their hips together again, massaging Pi’s ass rhythmically as he did so. Pi was playing with the barbell now, letting the tiny plastic balls run over his own lips in patterns, as though demonstrating his skill for Ryo.
Yamapi looked down to where their groins were pressed together through layers of clothing, erections trapped in their respective pants, and says, “Why don’t we test out how useful it can be?”
Ryo couldn’t even form an answer beyond a groan of appreciation as Pi slide off of his lap to kneel in front of him, and thought that this was possibly the best surprise, late Christmas present ever.
--
“No way. Get that out of my face; it looks like dog shit.”
Kazuya held the piece of pumpkin pie even closer to Jin in response, waving the paper plate invitingly. “Oh come on, Jin, it’s delicious! Just try it.”
“No,” Jin said, crossing his arms resolutely. “I am not putting that anywhere near my mouth.”
“But I made it from scratch,” Kazuya protested, letting his bottom lip protrude just a little. “I can assure you that this is the most amazing pumpkin pie that you will ever encounter.”
Jin sighed and shook his head. “Look princess, I have never tried pumpkin pie, and I never will. Drop it.”
Kazuya lifted the fork in his hand and scooped the very tip of the pie slice on to it, lifting it until it was level with his mouth. “Are you sure? Not even just a little?”
“No.”
Kazuya reached his tongue out slowly, pulling the piece of food into his mouth even as he looked up at Jin from under his eyelashes. As his lips closed around the fork he rolled his eyes upward and shut his lids, moaning appreciatively. “Oh my God- mmm- you have to try this, Jin. Please.” His words were velvety-smooth as they poured from his mouth, his tongue darting out to lick any crumbs from the corners of his lips.
When Kazuya opened his eyes again, Jin was starting at him with rapt attention, a flush of red spreading over his face. His breathing was shallow and fast, and Kazuya did all he could not to smirk. Taking another small bite, Kazuya moaned low and deep around the fork, even going as far as to roll his hips a little. “It’s orgasmic,” he groaned out, looking up to meet Jin’s eyes.
Jin’s mouth hanged open a tiny bit and Kazuya bite his lower lip as he asks, “Just a little?”
Jin didn’t say anything, just nodded, and Kazuya stepped in close, using the fork to scoop another chunk of pie from the piece. Jin’s face scrunched up, his nose and the space between his eyebrows puckering, as Kazuya brought the fork to his lips and gently prodding them open. The small piece of pie disappeared into Jin’s mouth and Kazuya pulled the fork away, every morsel cleaned away from the action of Jin’s tongue and lips.
Kazuya watched closely, a bit of anxiety in his chest, as Jin reluctantly started chewing. Within seconds the anxiety drained from him and was replaced with smug righteousness as Jin’s eyebrows go up in surprise and he started chewing more rapidly. “This is- this is-”
Kazuya nodded, a smile on his face. “It’s amazing. I told you it would be.”
Jin merely stared at him, unimpressed, and said, “Shut up and give me the rest of that pie.”
****
It is true that time heals all wounds, but it's the way you choose to use that time that will bring you closer to your desired outcome. As we wait for time to pass, what we are really doing is building our faith. Without faith in the healing process, it’s easy to make the situation worse by backtracking and grasping for what you once had. Life can not go back to the way it was, you can only move forward. Once you recognize that the waiting period is really the healing process, you'll be free to experience the bliss of your impending success.
Although the world is full of suffering, it is also full of overcoming it.
THE END
Author: kyu_x
Beta: lovekame02
Main pairing(s): Akame, Ryopi
Side pairing(s): Ryo/Kame, Pin
Disclaimer: Not mine.
Summary: RyoKame and Pin are going to the same therapist for the same reasons, they’re not happy on their relationship. The therapist gets the idea to get Akame and RyoPi together to notice what they looses if they loose their loved ones. Does this help at all? Or does it only make things more complicated?
CHAPTER 15 - “The End”
“Here,” Ryo placed his home keys into a hand, a little bigger than his. He was afraid of looking into the other one’s eyes because of what he said. “He should be sleeping when you’ll get there.”
“Thank you, Nishikido.” Jin said, and when Ryo lifted his eyes on the level of Jin’s, he gave him a warm smile, like it was all forgotten. “So Pi doesn’t know you’re going there now?”
Jin was quite surprised when Ryo called him and told him to meet Ryo now. He was hoping he’d get some information of Kazuya, but instead Ryo told he should go meet Kazuya, and handed over his key.
“No, he thinks we’re meeting in an hour at the combini near your place.”
They were quite for awhile, neither one knowing what to say. Both of them had their eyes on somewhere else than the other. Jin was watching the keys in his hands, and couldn’t help but smiling to the thought he’d be able to see Kazuya in a matter of minutes. Ryo, on the other hand was trying to make his eyes go everywhere but on Jin. He was worried of Kazuya, but in the mean while happy to know he’d be able to share few more moments with Pi.
“I’ll be back in few hours,” Ryo said then, and before he left, he placed his palm on Jin’s shoulder, making a direct eye contact for the first time. “Take a good care of him, Akanishi.”
“I will.”
“And I’m sorry about what I said to you in the hospital, I was wrong.”
--
Jin didn’t know why he was so nervous. He felt like a teenager, picking up a date to the school prom, or meeting the parents for the first time. He shouldn’t feel this nervous. Instead of knocking the door or ringing the bell, Jin smelled himself, making sure he wasn’t sweaty. He came right away from the meeting with Ryo. The only two minutes he stopped on the way was to pick flowers for Kazuya.
He wasn’t even sure if getting flowers would be the right decision. He came to tell Kazuya that he loved him and that he broke up with Pi, and he wanted a chance to get all over. That’s all. Jin knocked on the door, and when nobody answered, Jin suddenly felt stupid for even knocking. Ryo just gave him the key, and said Kazuya’s probably sleeping.
Jin opened the door as silently as possible, being careful if Kazuya was sleeping. A small smile came across his lips when he thought Kazuya’s face when he’d see Jin’s there when Kazuya would wake up. He closed the door behind him and slipped out of his shoes.
“Kazuya?” Jin called carefully and when there was no answer, he was pretty sure Kazuya indeed was asleep. Jin placed the flowers on the kitchen table on his way before stripping the jacket and hanged it on the chair next to the kitchen table.
His heart skipped when he saw Kazuya curled up in the bedroom, and all he wanted to do was to sat beside him, shake him gently and kiss him awake. He stepped closer and the smile he was wearing since he stepped in the house was gone on the sight in front of him, pieces of broken glass all over the floor and bed surrounded by water. “Kazuya?”
Jin’s heart sank when he saw the empty pack of pill next to Kazuya’s open palm. “No, no, no.” his steps got faster, and when he reached the bed, he placed his knee on it, turning Kazuya on his back. “No, no, no, no, no.” Jin’s hand hurried on Kazuya’s ice cold face, and the panic hit him. He tried to lower his fingers on Kazuya’s pulse and he couldn’t find it.
Jin had to bite his lip to keep it from shivering. No words came out, only some hoarse noises. With the panic that attacked him, Jin grabbed Kazuya’s hand and started pulling him on the floor, hearing silent bumps every time Kazuya’s body hit on something.
“Don’t you die on me, Kazuya! No, no!” he managed to let out when he dragged Kazuya by his hand to the closest bathroom. He lifted Kazuya on the tub, placing himself behind him, letting the tears of panic fell on his cheeks. “You can’t do this to me again, Kazuya!” Jin turned the tap hot and let the water fall on both of them, pulling Kazuya closer and bringing his index- and middle finger on Kazuya’s lips, forcing them in.
When he felt the gag reflect, a small relief hit his guts. He pushed his fingers just a little deeper and soon pulled them out and heard Kazuya throwing up for a brief few seconds and coughing. And when he turned to see Jin’s face, Jin pulled him closer, wrapping his arms around him, like he was never letting go.
Jin could hear Kazuya sobbing, so he hurried to caress Kazuya’s head pulling him to lean on Jin’s chest. Kazuya was alive. That was all he needed, even if Kazuya would hate him for saving him for the rest of his life, Jin wouldn’t let Kazuya die.
Jin dressed some Ryo’s big t-shirt and sweatpants on Kazuya. After going through Kazuya’s closet he couldn’t find anything loose, so he walked to Ryo’s instead. He kissed Kazuya’s forehead when he placed Kazuya on the bed, covering him up with a blanket before going to change his own clothes into some Ryo’s hoping they will fit. Gladly he found grey sweatpants and some white t-shit with rather big v-neck. He didn’t mind, though.
When he came back, he gave a proper look on Kazuya, who was looking at Jin under his blanket, like he was afraid he would have to talk about what happened. When Jin raised his knees on the bed, crawling next to Kazuya, he decided not to ask anything. If Kazuya wanted to talk about it, he’d listen. Of course he wanted to know, he felt like he needed to know, like he had the right to know, but he also knew it would make Kazuya feel uncomfortable and he should just wait.
“I missed you.” Kazuya whispered when Jin pulled him closer on his embrace. “I missed you so much,” he said and Jin wondered if Kazuya actually meant it or was it because Jin had just saved his life.
“I missed you too,” Jin placed a gentle kiss on Kazuya’s already dry hair, smelling it, and it had been so long since he’d smelled that warm, shade of strawberry and vanilla scent, and he really wouldn’t mind staying like that for the rest of their lives. Except they had to get up sooner or later, they had to talk, decide what they would do from now on, and decide what they would be.
“I’m so tired.”
Jin watched Kazuya closing his eyes, and he was sad because he wasn’t sure whether Kazuya meant he was tired and wanted to sleep, or he was tired of this situation and wanted to get some solution. The saddest thing was, Jin considered Kazuya even meaning he was tired of this life. And the thought of Kazuya thinking that way just made his heart sank even deeper into his chest, but instead of showing it, he pulled Kazuya even closer, as if it was possible and whispered into his ear, “Me too.”
--
Pi was in the middle of what-the-fuck-am-I-gonna-wear-crisis when he heard someone knocking on the door. He let out a groan, thinking why the hell Jin locked the door if he didn’t take the keys with him. Pi had promised to make him a dinner but he got a call and Pi suspected it was a call back for a job interview or something because right after it, Jin apologized for not being able to stay for dinner and pretty much left right away.
“I’m coming!” Pi got frustrated when he heard the knocking from the first time and he had to wonder if Jin had to go to toilet or something cause the knocking came like every 4 seconds. When he opened the door, there was no Jin standing in front of him. Quite opposite actually.
“R-Ryo? What are you-”
Pi was interrupted by a pair of soft lips and the warmth of the other one pushing them deeper into his apartment, and when Pi saw Ryo kicking the door closed after getting in, he closed his eyes and wrapped his arms around Ryo, letting him turn them over on the cough.
When Ryo broke the kiss, they had their eyes locked for seconds, but it felt like hours before they bumped their noses together letting out a small laugh. As Ryo felt Pi’s lips softly against his, he silently hoped that he would say the right words in the right way. He needed Pi to hear him and really understand it. After all, how do you tell someone that you screwed up royally and that you want everything to go back to the way it was before the whole Kazuya accident?
“I love you.” Ryo let out, not sure himself if he meant it, and the shock and surprise it brought to Pi’s face made Ryo think if he should regret saying it, but he couldn’t. And he didn’t. “And um,” suddenly Ryo started to think about what happened to Kazuya. If he would have been there for him, this would have never happened, if he wouldn’t have been working all the time, Kazuya would have never started this alcohol hobby of his, and none of this would have ever happened.
In the end, Ryo was blaming others, but it was his fault. Without him, nothing would have happened to Kazuya. Most likely he’d make Pi end up getting into drugs or whoring in streets. “I should leave.”
“What? No.” Pi gently grabbed Ryo’s sleeve, locking eyes with him. “Don’t leave.” he said and Ryo didn’t miss the desperate shade of his tone.
”If I could love you-”
“C-could? But you just said..” Pi lowered his voice, and Ryo couldn’t help but feel his heart skip on the disappointment in Pi’s voice. He wanted Ryo to love him.
“Pi, listen to me.” Ryo said then, he needed to make this one clear. Pi deserved everything in the world there was to give. And Ryo couldn’t be the one giving. “If I could love you without hurting you I-”
“You’re not Ryo! You’re not hurting me!”
“Look what happened to Kazuya.” Ryo hurried to say before Pi could continue. Ryo massaged his lips together, and he knew that Pi understood it wasn’t the easiest thing to talk about for him. “He started drinking because of me.”
Ryo could see how Pi didn’t like the way Ryo had just compared him to Kazuya. And he knew Pi was right. He shouldn’t compare for the two of them. He didn’t wait for Pi to say anything, but the way Pi was looking at him, Ryo couldn’t help but to feel a twist in his pants. Was Pi seducing him? Without realizing it?
“I guess I should probably get all emotional and honest and shit and tell you that I love you, too, right?” Pi said then and the smile he brought across Ryo’s lips was worth saying it.
Ryo brushed his fingertips just to the left of Pi’s bellybutton, the one place on Pi’s body that's ticklish. Ryo leaned down and kissed down his ribs and over his stomach, kissed the spot he just tickled, then across Pi’s tummy. Ryo moved so he was lying on the couch between Pi’s legs, and looked up at him from there. Ryo’s lips brushed the skin right where the desire was building in Pi’s stomach.
“We should move in properly.” Ryo let his eyes raise into Pi’s, snapping the button open from Pi’s jeans.
“Ryo..” Pi moaned and he didn't mean for it to sound so needy. Pi felt Ryo brushing his lips against his stomach, letting his tongue travel lower, leaving a wet line across his stomach. “Come up here. We should...God, Ryo, just...Can we think about that… moving in… thing?”
Ryo rolled his tongue over Pi’s manhood, smirking as Pi’s lower part wasn’t nearly as resistant as his upped body tried to be. “You think about it while I make you come,” he tells her. “Then we'll talk about it.”
They both knew he couldn't think of anything while Ryo was doing this.
--
Ryo’s I’ll be back in few hours changed into a text message saying be back tomorrow, and Jin didn’t really mind. He laid there with Kazuya for hours before getting up. He couldn’t sleep, he couldn’t stop thinking about Kazuya and the things he could do to him.
“Kazu,” Jin whispered softly, waking Kazuya up, and the truth was, when he saw Kazuya’s angelic face turning to face him, and when Jin brushed the hair away from covering that beautiful face, Jin had the urge to tell Kazuya just how madly he had fallen for him.
Instead he leaned in to brush their lips together. “Ryo text me he won’t be back until tomorrow so I’m staying here with you,” he smiled and when Kazuya raised to sit, Jin caressed his cheek.
Kazuya looked at Jin, and gave him a small smile, like it was all good now. Like everything had gone back to normal. “Kazuya, I..” Jin sat next to Kazuya, letting his hand drop on the bed to he could mingle their hands together. “I almost called emergency number again.” Jin massaged his lips together, trying his best not to shed a tear in front of Kazuya. He had enough of crying and feeling as weak as he did. “You have to promise me that you will never ever ever do that to me again.”
Jin lowered his look to focus on their eyes, and he let a soft sniff out. “You don’t have to tell me why you did it, but I deserve to hear you say you will never do it again,” he looked at Kazuya again, with tear-filled eyes. “Okay?”
When Kazuya nodded, Jin pulled him against his skin knowing that all he ever wanted was to feel Kazuya’s breath against his skin, to know Kazuya was alive, and happy. And Jin was determined to find out a way how he could be the one to do make it all happen.
“I love you,” Kazuya said, or more like whispered against Jin’s shoulder, and Jin pulled back enough to see Kazuya.
“What did you just say?” Jin asked, and when Kazuya lowered his eyes, he knew it was a mistake to be so shocked about it.
“I’m sorry, I-”
“I love you too, Kazuya.” Jin said before Kazuya could go further with his apology. “I’ve loved you for so long,” he said with a small chuckle finally hearing those three words from Kazuya. On that second he knew, they could fix this, they could bring it all back together.
****
There is an old adage that says "time heals all wounds." But the process of waiting on time to help you get through a devastating break-up, a life changing decision or a new and challenging stage in your life may sometimes feels like torture. However, it will always be easer if you have someone to share this with, someone to help you out, someone in your life who will always be there for you.
2 Years later
Pi walked up to where Ryo was reclined on the couch, arms folded behind his head, and steps between his boyfriends’ spread legs. The worn, frayed and baggy pants contrasted almost comically with Pi’s skin-tight white skinny jeans.
Ryo looked up at him, the beginning of a smirk playing at his lips, and tilts his head. “What’s up, babe?”
Raising one brow delicately and looking down at the bulkier man, Pi leaned forward until his lips nearly connect with Ryo’s, angling his head so he could place a light kiss on the corner of them. “I have a surprise for you,” he whispered, voice uncharacteristically low and husky.
“Oh yeah?” Ryo asked, hands unlatching from behind his head to rest on Pi’s waist. “What’s that?”
Pi pulled away and little, just enough to meet questioning brown eyes with his own, then moved forward, straddling Ryo. His knees resting on either side of Ryo’s hips, spread wide, and his ass resting on Ryo’s toned thighs.
“Here,” he said, threading a hand through Ryo’s hair, tugging their lips together once again, “let me show you.”
Smirking against Ryo’s lips, Pi used the tip of his tongue to trace around the other man’s mouth teasingly, delving deeper when the mouth he was circling opened to him. He pulled back after a quick swipe of his tongue over Ryo’s, and sucked Ryo’s low lip into his mouth.
Ryo groaned and moved his hips in little upward thrusts, dropping his hands to cup Pi’s ass in his palms. As Ryo squeezed his cheeks, pulling their groins tight together, Yamapi released Ryo’s lip, knowing that there would be a little bruise there later.
“What,” Ryo panted, “were you going to show me?”
Pi nipped Ryo’s upper lip, and then soothed the area with a light kiss. “This.” Bringing his other hand up to cup the side of Ryo’s face, Pi dived into the other boy’s mouth, tongue swiping a luxurious path over his answering tongue in a slick and familiar slide.
Ryo gasped into the kiss and stilled, pulling back a little to ask, “Is that..?”
“Yes,” Pi breathed. He licked his lips, tongue curling up, and moaned deep in his throat at the feeling of his tongue piercing, caressing both his upper and lower lips. Ryo’s eyes follow the movement rabidly, surprise and self-satisfaction painting his face.
“You- I thought you said you would never get one.” Ryo was smug as he was speaking, his kiss-reddened mouth quirking up in one corner.
“Yeah, well,” Pi began, “I may have reconsidered that decision once I thought about how useful it could be.” he let a smirk raise upon his face, and Ryo never really figured how Pi managed to make a smirk look so damn cute. “You can think of it as a late Christmas present.”
Eyes widening and a rush of arousal obviously peaking through his body, Ryo grinded their hips together again, massaging Pi’s ass rhythmically as he did so. Pi was playing with the barbell now, letting the tiny plastic balls run over his own lips in patterns, as though demonstrating his skill for Ryo.
Yamapi looked down to where their groins were pressed together through layers of clothing, erections trapped in their respective pants, and says, “Why don’t we test out how useful it can be?”
Ryo couldn’t even form an answer beyond a groan of appreciation as Pi slide off of his lap to kneel in front of him, and thought that this was possibly the best surprise, late Christmas present ever.
--
“No way. Get that out of my face; it looks like dog shit.”
Kazuya held the piece of pumpkin pie even closer to Jin in response, waving the paper plate invitingly. “Oh come on, Jin, it’s delicious! Just try it.”
“No,” Jin said, crossing his arms resolutely. “I am not putting that anywhere near my mouth.”
“But I made it from scratch,” Kazuya protested, letting his bottom lip protrude just a little. “I can assure you that this is the most amazing pumpkin pie that you will ever encounter.”
Jin sighed and shook his head. “Look princess, I have never tried pumpkin pie, and I never will. Drop it.”
Kazuya lifted the fork in his hand and scooped the very tip of the pie slice on to it, lifting it until it was level with his mouth. “Are you sure? Not even just a little?”
“No.”
Kazuya reached his tongue out slowly, pulling the piece of food into his mouth even as he looked up at Jin from under his eyelashes. As his lips closed around the fork he rolled his eyes upward and shut his lids, moaning appreciatively. “Oh my God- mmm- you have to try this, Jin. Please.” His words were velvety-smooth as they poured from his mouth, his tongue darting out to lick any crumbs from the corners of his lips.
When Kazuya opened his eyes again, Jin was starting at him with rapt attention, a flush of red spreading over his face. His breathing was shallow and fast, and Kazuya did all he could not to smirk. Taking another small bite, Kazuya moaned low and deep around the fork, even going as far as to roll his hips a little. “It’s orgasmic,” he groaned out, looking up to meet Jin’s eyes.
Jin’s mouth hanged open a tiny bit and Kazuya bite his lower lip as he asks, “Just a little?”
Jin didn’t say anything, just nodded, and Kazuya stepped in close, using the fork to scoop another chunk of pie from the piece. Jin’s face scrunched up, his nose and the space between his eyebrows puckering, as Kazuya brought the fork to his lips and gently prodding them open. The small piece of pie disappeared into Jin’s mouth and Kazuya pulled the fork away, every morsel cleaned away from the action of Jin’s tongue and lips.
Kazuya watched closely, a bit of anxiety in his chest, as Jin reluctantly started chewing. Within seconds the anxiety drained from him and was replaced with smug righteousness as Jin’s eyebrows go up in surprise and he started chewing more rapidly. “This is- this is-”
Kazuya nodded, a smile on his face. “It’s amazing. I told you it would be.”
Jin merely stared at him, unimpressed, and said, “Shut up and give me the rest of that pie.”
****
It is true that time heals all wounds, but it's the way you choose to use that time that will bring you closer to your desired outcome. As we wait for time to pass, what we are really doing is building our faith. Without faith in the healing process, it’s easy to make the situation worse by backtracking and grasping for what you once had. Life can not go back to the way it was, you can only move forward. Once you recognize that the waiting period is really the healing process, you'll be free to experience the bliss of your impending success.
Although the world is full of suffering, it is also full of overcoming it.
THE END