I hate nights like this. They stand as a solid reminder that once, on nights like this, I had all these people that wanted to talk with me, and plot with me
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Ummm... I'm SO hoping that you are not drinking alcohol. :(
I hate to preach, but having been there, I know first hand that alcohol + Depression is NOT a good combination (and alcohol+Depression meds isn't much better.)
I too am GLAD, GLAD, GLAD that you are not dead. *HUGS*
Whose forgiveness do you want, Kyt? Because I think the first person who has to forgive you, is YOU. I cannot offer you absolution. I can only try to offer support.
Yes, you must mourn and grieve for the friendships you've lost; but people who don't stick with you through th rough stuff were never REAL friends. True friends understand, or try to understand, their friends' problems. They ask questions and self-educate.
But some people truly cannot cope with other's problems. That is their failure, not yours for having the problem. Few of my friends helped me - or even knew HOW to help me - when I became disabled. Talking with other disabled friends it seems this is not uncommon: one friend of mine who was brain damaged in a car crash has only TWO friends from before her accident now.
Depression drives your thinking inwards and on old well-worn paths of self-abuse. The only thing you can do is try to look OUTWARDS and develop new patterns of thinking.
Who in fandom hates your guts? Which fandom? Why do you think that?
I do NOT hate you. Every time you post, you get support - can you not concentrate on US, on the fact that you are wanted and people care enough to respond every time? Try to stop looking at yourself as reflected by your Depression and look at the You we try to reflect: it's a much prettier picture.
*HUGS* And email me (natsuko1978[at]googlemail[dot]com) with the times you are usually online and which chat client you use. I WANT to talk to you. The trouble is the pesky Time Zone thing; which makes your evening, my silly o'clock :(
<-- have some Izumi-fuel :DcougarfangMay 31 2008, 05:23:13 UTC
IAWTC, especially this: Try to stop looking at yourself as reflected by your Depression and look at the You we try to reflect: it's a much prettier picture.
If you can't pump up your own self-esteem (a major problem I've had all my life) then you could do it by proxy. :)
I hate to preach, but having been there, I know first hand that alcohol + Depression is NOT a good combination (and alcohol+Depression meds isn't much better.)
I too am GLAD, GLAD, GLAD that you are not dead. *HUGS*
Whose forgiveness do you want, Kyt? Because I think the first person who has to forgive you, is YOU. I cannot offer you absolution. I can only try to offer support.
Yes, you must mourn and grieve for the friendships you've lost; but people who don't stick with you through th rough stuff were never REAL friends. True friends understand, or try to understand, their friends' problems. They ask questions and self-educate.
But some people truly cannot cope with other's problems. That is their failure, not yours for having the problem. Few of my friends helped me - or even knew HOW to help me - when I became disabled. Talking with other disabled friends it seems this is not uncommon: one friend of mine who was brain damaged in a car crash has only TWO friends from before her accident now.
Depression drives your thinking inwards and on old well-worn paths of self-abuse. The only thing you can do is try to look OUTWARDS and develop new patterns of thinking.
Who in fandom hates your guts? Which fandom? Why do you think that?
I do NOT hate you. Every time you post, you get support - can you not concentrate on US, on the fact that you are wanted and people care enough to respond every time? Try to stop looking at yourself as reflected by your Depression and look at the You we try to reflect: it's a much prettier picture.
*HUGS* And email me (natsuko1978[at]googlemail[dot]com) with the times you are usually online and which chat client you use. I WANT to talk to you. The trouble is the pesky Time Zone thing; which makes your evening, my silly o'clock :(
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Try to stop looking at yourself as reflected by your Depression and look at the You we try to reflect: it's a much prettier picture.
If you can't pump up your own self-esteem (a major problem I've had all my life) then you could do it by proxy. :)
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