(no subject)
EVERYTHING YOU WANTED TO KNOW ABOUT FARTS,
BUT WERE AFRAID TO ASK (haha! but it's serious stuff)
What makes farts stink?
The odor of farts comes from small amounts of hydrogen sulfide gas and
mercaptans in the mixture. These compounds contain sulfur.
Nitrogen-rich
compounds such as skatole and indole also add to the stench of farts.
The more sulfur-rich your diet, the more sulfides and mercaptans will
be
produced by the bacteria in your guts, and the more your farts will
stink.
Foods such as cauliflower, eggs and meat are notorious for producing
smelly farts, whereas beans produce large amounts of not particularly
stinky farts.
Why are stinky farts generally warmer and quieter than regular farts?
Most fart gas comes from swallowed air and consists largely of nitrogen
and carbon dioxide, the oxygen having been absorbed by the time it
reaches the anal opening. These gases are odorless, although they often
pick up other (and more odiferous) components on the way through the
bowel. They emerge from the anus in fairly large bubbles at body
temperature. A person can often achieve a good sound with these
voluminous farts, but they are commonly (but not always!) mundane with
respect to odor, and don't feel particularly warm.
Another major source of fart gas is bacterial action. Bacterial
fermentation and digestion processes produce heat as a by-product as
well as various pungent gases. The resulting bubbles of gas tend to be
small, hot, and concentrated with stinky bacterial metabolic products.
These emerge as the notorious, warm, SBD (Silent-But-Deadly), often in
amounts too small to produce a good sound, but excelling in stench.
How much gas does a normal person pass per day?
On average, a person produces about half a liter of fart gas per day,
distributed over an average of about fourteen daily farts. Whereas it
may be difficult for you to determine your daily flatus volume, you can
certainly keep track of your daily numerical fart count. You might try
this as a science fair project: Keep a journal of everything you eat
and
a count of your farts. You might make a note of the potency of their
odor as well. See if you can discover a relationship between what you
eat, how much you fart, and how much they smell.
How long does it take fart gas to travel to someone else's nose?
Fart travel time depends on atmospheric conditions such as humidity,
temperature and wind speed and direction, the molecular weight of the
fart particles, and the distance between the fart transmitter and the
fart receiver. Farts also disperse (spread out) as they leave the
source, and their potency diminishes with dilution. Generally, if the
fart is not detected within a few seconds, it will be too dilute for
perception and will be lost into the atmosphere forever. Exceptional
conditions exist when the fart is released into a small enclosed area
such as an elevator, a small room, or a car. These conditions limit the
amount of dilution possible, and the fart may remain in a smellable
concentration for a long period of time, until it condenses on the
walls.
Why is there a 13 to 20 second delay between farting and the time it
starts to smell?
Actually, the fart stinks immediately upon emergence, but it takes
several seconds for the odor to travel to the farter's nostrils. If
farts could travel at the speed of sound, we would smell them almost
instantly, at the same time we hear them.
Is it true that some people never fart?
No, not if they're alive. People even fart shortly after death.
Do even movie stars fart?
Yes most men take more pride in it than most women. There is a large
variation among individuals in the amount of fart gas produced per day,
but the variation does not correlate with gender. I have read that men
fart more often than women. If this is true, then women must be saving
it up and expelling more gas per fart than men do.
Do men's farts smell worse than women's farts?
Based on what I have experienced of women's farts, all I can say is
that
I hope not..
At what time of day is a gentleman most likely to fart?
A gentleman is mostly likely to fart first thing in the morning, while
in the bathroom. This is known as "morning thunder," and if the
gentleman gets good resonance, it can be heard throughout the
household.
Why are beans so notorious for making people fart?
Beans contain sugars that we humans cannot digest. When these sugars
reach our intestines, the bacteria go wild, have a big feast, and make
lots of gas! Other notorious fart-producing foods include corn, bell
peppers, cabbage, milk, and raisins. A friend of mine had a dog who was
exceptionally fond of apples and turnips. The dog would eat these
things
and then get prodigious gas. A dog's digestive system is not equipped
to
handle such vegetable matter, so the dog's bacteria worked overtime to
produce remarkable flatulence.
What things other than diet can make a person fart more than usual?
People who swallow a lot of air fart more than people who don't. This
can be cured somewhat by chewing with your mouth closed. Nervous people
with fast moving bowels will fart more because less air is absorbed out
of the intestines. Some disease conditions can cause excess flatulence.
And going up in an airplane or other low- pressure environment can
cause
the gas inside you to expand and emerge as flatulence.
Is a fart really just a burp that comes out the wrong end?
No, a burp emerges from the stomach and has a different chemical
composition from a fart. Farts have less atmospheric gas content and
more bacterial gas content than burps.
Is it harmful to hold in farts?
There are differences in opinion on this one. Certainly, people have
believed for centuries that retaining flatulence is bad for the health.
Emperor Claudius even passed a law legalizing farting at banquets out
of
concern for people's health. There was a widespread belief that a
person
could be po isoned or catch a disease by retaining farts. Doctors I
have
spoken to recently have told me that there is no particular harm in
holding in farts. Farts will not poison you; they are a natural
component of your intestinal contents. The worst thing that can happen
is that you may get a stomach ache from the gas pressure. But one
doctor
suggested that pathological distention of the bowel could result if a
person holds in farts too much.
How long would it be possible to not fart?
As I understand it, a captive fart can escape as soon as the person
relaxes. This means that a lot of people who assiduously refrain from
farting during the day do so at great length as soon as they fall
asleep. Having been on a great many overnight field trips, long bus
trips, and trans- Pacific flights, I can personally vouch for the fact
that lots of people do fart voluminously as they doze off. So the
answer
to the question would be, you can refrain from farting as long as you
can stay awake!
Do all people fart in their sleep?
I have not made a scientific study of this, but I don't think all
people
fart in their sleep. I think mainly those who refuse to fart when
they're awake do so when dozing off. For other people, toilet training
takes such a strong hold that they let nothing pass their sphincters in
sleep. For these people, the gas accumulates in the night and they vent
it upon awakening.
Where do farts go when you hold them in?
How often have you held in a fart, intending to release it at the first
appropriate opportunity, only to find that the fart has disappeared
when
you are ready for it? I asked several doctors where the fart goes. Does
it leak out slowly without the person knowing it? Is it absorbed into
the bloodstream? What happens to it? The doctors agree that the fart is
neither released nor absorbed. It simply migrates back upward into the
intestine and comes out later. It is reassuring to know that such farts
aren't really lost, just delayed.
How can one cover up a fart?
There is a company called Fartypants that sells underwear designed to
absorb the odor of farts. If you should be caught without your
Fartypants, another ploy is to blame the dog or cat, if one should be
present, or complain about how the wind must be blowing from the
direction of the paper mill. As for the sound... if you are in a large
group of people, act oblivious and innocent, or glance quickly at the
person next to you, as if you think he/she did it. Other strategies
include coughing or suddenly moving your chair so that people think
that
they misheard the fart. If you are with one other person, you can act
as
if nothing happened, and the other person may believe he was mistaken
in
thinking he heard a fart. CJT addresses the problem of farting loudly
in
a public restroom as follows: "My solution: use a handful of loose
toilet paper, cover your butt hole and it will muffle the farting; my
friends and I call it the 'Buff Muff'!" Depending upon the company,
another strategy is not to cover it up, but to proudly proclaim the
fart
as your own grand accomplishment and to issue a challenge to the others
to outdo that one if they think they can.
Is it really possible to ignite farts?
The answer to that is yes! However, you should be aware that people get
injured igniting flatulence. Not only can the flame back up into your
colon, but your clothing or other surroundings may catch on fire. A
survey done by Fartcloud (the site, alas! is no more) indicates that
about a quarter of the people who ignited their farts got burned doing
it. Ignition of flatulence is a hazardous practice. However, if you
want
to try it, and you don't have a friend to light your fart for you, you
might find it easier to accomplish the job using the Fartlighter. There
have also been cases in which intestinal gases with a higher than
normal
oxygen content have exploded during surgery when electric cautery was
used by the surgeon.
Why is possible to burn farts?
Farts burn because they contain methane (usually) and hydrogen, both of
which are flammable gases. (Hydrogen was the same gas that was used in
the ill fated Hindenburg dirigible.) Farts tend to burn with a blue or
yellow flame.