Something about Nothing
It's funny... I actually got back my drive to write in this thing months ago. I'm back to being social. The overwhelming drama of wtfery is becoming much less overwhelming and I've been in a pretty good mood. There's just one problem.
In order to write about life... well... you kind of need to have one.
I've always been that person who did too much. Shan's given me hell about this for longer than I can remember. Hell... my very first character in roleplaying (who was basically me with better hair) had that oh-so-lovely character flaw. I just don't slow down. Ever.
Except, for the past several months, slow is all I've been.
Things are starting to pick up. I started classes last week, beginning the long journey towards getting my masters degree, and I really am excited, especially for the Nonfiction Writing class. I'm thinking Rhetorical Criticism will possibly kill me, but it will be an exciting death, at least. And it's nice to really stretch, mentally. I love teaching. There's no job I'd rather do. But there's a reason that I'm embarrassed to admit I'm an elementary education major in academic circles. Very rarely are we challenged to step up to do real, in depth research and study. It's nice stepping up and proving that, even if this isn't a standard part of my job, I'm capable... and pretty damn good at it. Or, at least, I'm hoping I will be. Otherwise this semester will be rough.
Outside of school, though, there's really not much.
Sure, there's the burning resentment towards my lovely previous district. I'll admit, there are still a few choice gestures that happen when I pass by the school at night, and it will be a long time before I can look back on these past three years in any positive light...but even that's become rather quiet.
I think that will change when I start trying to broaden my network of connections again. Right now I can ignore how much I miss teaching because I have a different focus and nothing is reminding me of what I left behind. Soon, though, I need to step back into the mix. I need to stay involved in the field so I have a chance of being hired next year.
Walking back into a classroom that isn't mine... knowing it'll be at least a year until I have that again?
I'll be honest... I'm scared.
I didn't want to start over. But I guess that's the name of the game. The hand was dealt. Now I've just got to play along as best I can.
In order to write about life... well... you kind of need to have one.
I've always been that person who did too much. Shan's given me hell about this for longer than I can remember. Hell... my very first character in roleplaying (who was basically me with better hair) had that oh-so-lovely character flaw. I just don't slow down. Ever.
Except, for the past several months, slow is all I've been.
Things are starting to pick up. I started classes last week, beginning the long journey towards getting my masters degree, and I really am excited, especially for the Nonfiction Writing class. I'm thinking Rhetorical Criticism will possibly kill me, but it will be an exciting death, at least. And it's nice to really stretch, mentally. I love teaching. There's no job I'd rather do. But there's a reason that I'm embarrassed to admit I'm an elementary education major in academic circles. Very rarely are we challenged to step up to do real, in depth research and study. It's nice stepping up and proving that, even if this isn't a standard part of my job, I'm capable... and pretty damn good at it. Or, at least, I'm hoping I will be. Otherwise this semester will be rough.
Outside of school, though, there's really not much.
Sure, there's the burning resentment towards my lovely previous district. I'll admit, there are still a few choice gestures that happen when I pass by the school at night, and it will be a long time before I can look back on these past three years in any positive light...but even that's become rather quiet.
I think that will change when I start trying to broaden my network of connections again. Right now I can ignore how much I miss teaching because I have a different focus and nothing is reminding me of what I left behind. Soon, though, I need to step back into the mix. I need to stay involved in the field so I have a chance of being hired next year.
Walking back into a classroom that isn't mine... knowing it'll be at least a year until I have that again?
I'll be honest... I'm scared.
I didn't want to start over. But I guess that's the name of the game. The hand was dealt. Now I've just got to play along as best I can.