You're not supposed to join any kind of competition. Take your time. Figure things out. Most importantly, figure out which you he's interested in: the you that is right now, or the you of memory.
Unless she's writing about you, that's his concern, not yours. You just need to be you. "This is who I am, right here, right now. I'm not going to play your games."
Don't live on apparently. It tastes horrible and sits in the stomach. You'll find yourself fretting about what someone may or may not say. If she has a beef with you, and doesn't have the conviction to be open about it, then it's not worth paying attention to.
ignore her? You don't have to compete with her in any way. Be yourself. If he wants you, he wants you. If he wants you to compete - well, that is f*cked and I would not do it were I you.
it's a little more complicated. back in '07/08 he and I were sortofnotdating - had been before she came into the picture. Since I didn't mention him by name in my journal, or mention staying over, or any of that, he thought I considered it Not Dating rather than the more amorphous sortakinda.
So me mentioning him is also me acknowledging that there is in fact something between us.
Most people know the real story and know what's behind it. I wouldn't worry too much about that. I'm sure it can be annoying with the plastic candy coated drivel, but in reality, it's the sad rantings of a "used to be." Focus on your feelings and what you want.
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So me mentioning him is also me acknowledging that there is in fact something between us.
But bleh. She writes and writes and writes.
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God I wish I could figure out what I want. Her involvement clouds everything.
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