Public entry, just because.
Everything's going nuts in this household. Everytime I arrive late from RVC or my other responsibilities, it seems like there's been an explosion in the house and all I'm left with is the aftermath, the nuclear fallout. Rooms are locked and you can barely talk to anyone. I'm too tired from the commute home to really try and get to the bottom of what's going on. I mean, it's been like this ever since I was a kid. Everything runs in cycles, especially pain.
Which is why my short term goal is to get out of this country. I need a life of my own, a life where I can make decisions and try to learn from them. A life where I don't have to worry about coming home to a poisoned environment. I want a chance to grow. Frankly, I want to try and enjoy life on my own.
I feel so suffocated right now. I'm nearing autopilot.
Autopilot's when I shut everything out and do what I have to do. It's not a fun way to live because it's not really living. It's a mechanical way to deal with things. It's like there's another person filling in for you and you're shutting yourself in.
God, I need the people who know me. Although it seems all those people who really know me aren't on speaking terms with me.
I need you.
Which is why my short term goal is to get out of this country. I need a life of my own, a life where I can make decisions and try to learn from them. A life where I don't have to worry about coming home to a poisoned environment. I want a chance to grow. Frankly, I want to try and enjoy life on my own.
I feel so suffocated right now. I'm nearing autopilot.
Autopilot's when I shut everything out and do what I have to do. It's not a fun way to live because it's not really living. It's a mechanical way to deal with things. It's like there's another person filling in for you and you're shutting yourself in.
God, I need the people who know me. Although it seems all those people who really know me aren't on speaking terms with me.
I need you.