Memory.
When I was in my early 20's I always thought it was weird how I could only remember bits and pieces of my early child hood. My memory has always been more of an emotional blur tying together era's of my life with individual moments serving as sign posts to remind me of the general themes of my life. Now that I'm 30 I've found my teens and 20's slipping into this same blur. I can remember people and places and things from Atlanta but I can also feel them starting to fade into ambivalence. My past rolls into my present in a dark grey of useless time spent doing nothing that has benefited me in any real way. I look around myself at 30 and see a failure, better to have not existed at all, except for the cog like way my life has fit into others for their benefit, turning the wheels on others lives until the teeth strip off my own and I am one day replaced by another more perfect machine.