volume 127

[kyraaislynne]

hello all...my main reason for writing today is to vent about yesterday. im having alot of trouble handling my moms death (which happened when i was only a baby) and someone told me that i hide behind the fact that she was killed and im almost 18 years old, i need to get over it and that i barely knew her. thats quite saddening. so i was upset before the person said that to me but after that i was upset and straight up pissed. that happened during homeroom and me and sarah were walking toward nutrition when i halled off and puched a locker dead on. i think i left a dent. those marks disappeared but my anger didnt. i went through the day struggling not to let it show or anything but it was too hard. at the end of period 4 study hall, everyone knew that i was pissed. then after gym, the gym teacher said to sarah that if she wants a good grade in the class, she needs to stop hanging out with me and i was pissed about that...that just added to it...and then i went up and confronted him and he pretty much just lied to me which pissed me off more so i lightly punch another locker after i talked to mrs damon. she made me go to creative writing and i was pissed off about that too so on the way down the hall, sarah was behind me. i punched another locker but this time im sure someone heard it in the next hallway because this was twice as hard as i even wanted it to be. i felt bad because i think i scared sarah but i scared myself too. i bruised this time and bled. im still bruised and i think i like...dislocated my knuckle or something. then last night at work, i was really tired and people kept coming in, even after closing time and for the most part i was fed up with everyone and i called to tell my dad to pick me up at ninethirty and my brother didnt answer the beeps and i called back. when he did answer, i asked him why he didnt answer the beeps and he started swearing at me and shit and then hung up on me...okay im done.

todays lesson learned: it scares me how im always angry now