Warner Music Group, DIE IN A FIRE!
So, we all know by now about Warner Music Group's greedy double-jeopardy money grab compensation dispute with YouTube and the resulting hissfit tantrum video yank therefrom.
I certainly know it.
That doesn't make it any less annoying when I click on one of my music bookmarks to find out that yet another of my favorite songs or videos falls under the category of "stuff Warner can yank off the site." To say nothing of "stuff Warner HAS yanked off the site."
One of my all-time favorite songs is "American Pie" by Don McLean. I love the artistry especially---the meanings and allusions of all the different phrases. And some time ago I was fortunate enough to find a video someone had made which explained all these allusions in text and pictures. It was beautiful, and is probably my favorite nine minutes of video footage of all time.
I clicked on the bookmark a few days ago and it was gone.
I screamed in frustration. I typed "Don McLean American Pie" into the search bar, and found it re-uploaded, and thankfully bookmarked the new location.
I clicked on it tonight and it was gone again.
I did the search thing again and it isn't there.
Sure, there are a few other recordings of the song present (for now), but if I was just looking for the song I have it purchased on a CD. I am not denying anyone sales money by not buying the song because it's on YouTube. No, I want that video, that well-made, informative, and entertaining video that explains the song as I hear it.
And Warner Music Group has decided to make that artist's contribution unavailable to me.
Because they feel YouTube has been making too much money for them to be happy with their own share.
So I have lost that video, and the Knight Rider one with "The Twelve Pains of Christmas." And numerous others, both songs and fanvideos and montages that some unpaid fan put together on his or her own time. Things I can't go and purchase at Target.
So I have this to say:
FUCK YOU, Warner Music Group. Fuck you with something large and pointy and sharp, like a dead spruce tree with the jagged broken-off branches still protruding from the trunk, or a telephone pole with those metal brackets sticking out for the repairperson to climb up to the top. Fuck you without lube, unless that lube is made out of concentrated habanero oil and peppered with angry scorpions. Fuck you in your figurative ass deep enough to drive fecal matter up to spatter against the backs of your figurative teeth. Then distract yourself from the tree up your ass by procuring a blowjob from an angry, starving, and rabid coyote, preferably one that breathes fire.
Then die in a fire.
It has just occurred to me, incidentally, that Warner Brothers, the movie people, have just dealt with an attempted screwover by Fox regarding rights to the upcoming Watchmen movie. And I have just derailed my rant in an attempt to find out to what extent the two companies may be related. And I have gotten confused at trying to unravel said relationship, and stopped. Point is, if they are related or otherwise allied, one would think they'd strive for a little more consistency. Fox's attempt at derailing Watchmen was a greedy, opportunistic it's-there-so-let's-leech-from-it strike that tried to get money from the other company by hurting the fans. And so is Warner Music Group's YouTube tantrum. If Warner Music Group and Warner Bros. are part of the same conglomerate I will be somewhat disappointed. But I think they're different companies. Acquisitions and mergers give me a headache.
I want my American Pie video, dammit!
Oh, and Warner? I hope that dead spruce tree I mentioned fell over in the forest right onto a nice, lush bed of poison ivy. And that the lube composition is heavy on the scorpions.
Big ones.
I certainly know it.
That doesn't make it any less annoying when I click on one of my music bookmarks to find out that yet another of my favorite songs or videos falls under the category of "stuff Warner can yank off the site." To say nothing of "stuff Warner HAS yanked off the site."
One of my all-time favorite songs is "American Pie" by Don McLean. I love the artistry especially---the meanings and allusions of all the different phrases. And some time ago I was fortunate enough to find a video someone had made which explained all these allusions in text and pictures. It was beautiful, and is probably my favorite nine minutes of video footage of all time.
I clicked on the bookmark a few days ago and it was gone.
I screamed in frustration. I typed "Don McLean American Pie" into the search bar, and found it re-uploaded, and thankfully bookmarked the new location.
I clicked on it tonight and it was gone again.
I did the search thing again and it isn't there.
Sure, there are a few other recordings of the song present (for now), but if I was just looking for the song I have it purchased on a CD. I am not denying anyone sales money by not buying the song because it's on YouTube. No, I want that video, that well-made, informative, and entertaining video that explains the song as I hear it.
And Warner Music Group has decided to make that artist's contribution unavailable to me.
Because they feel YouTube has been making too much money for them to be happy with their own share.
So I have lost that video, and the Knight Rider one with "The Twelve Pains of Christmas." And numerous others, both songs and fanvideos and montages that some unpaid fan put together on his or her own time. Things I can't go and purchase at Target.
So I have this to say:
FUCK YOU, Warner Music Group. Fuck you with something large and pointy and sharp, like a dead spruce tree with the jagged broken-off branches still protruding from the trunk, or a telephone pole with those metal brackets sticking out for the repairperson to climb up to the top. Fuck you without lube, unless that lube is made out of concentrated habanero oil and peppered with angry scorpions. Fuck you in your figurative ass deep enough to drive fecal matter up to spatter against the backs of your figurative teeth. Then distract yourself from the tree up your ass by procuring a blowjob from an angry, starving, and rabid coyote, preferably one that breathes fire.
Then die in a fire.
It has just occurred to me, incidentally, that Warner Brothers, the movie people, have just dealt with an attempted screwover by Fox regarding rights to the upcoming Watchmen movie. And I have just derailed my rant in an attempt to find out to what extent the two companies may be related. And I have gotten confused at trying to unravel said relationship, and stopped. Point is, if they are related or otherwise allied, one would think they'd strive for a little more consistency. Fox's attempt at derailing Watchmen was a greedy, opportunistic it's-there-so-let's-leech-from-it strike that tried to get money from the other company by hurting the fans. And so is Warner Music Group's YouTube tantrum. If Warner Music Group and Warner Bros. are part of the same conglomerate I will be somewhat disappointed. But I think they're different companies. Acquisitions and mergers give me a headache.
I want my American Pie video, dammit!
Oh, and Warner? I hope that dead spruce tree I mentioned fell over in the forest right onto a nice, lush bed of poison ivy. And that the lube composition is heavy on the scorpions.
Big ones.