Fic: Today Could've Been The Next Day
Title: Today Could’ve Been The Next Day
Author: Kyra
Disclaimer: I don’t own them; if I did I wouldn’t be writing fanfiction.
Summary: It’s been two years and not a day goes by that he doesn’t think of her.
Pairings: Slight Puck/Quinn, though they aren’t actually together.
Spoilers: None, really. AU post-S1 and set senior year.
Warnings: Super, super depressing and angsty. Past character death, though not a major character. Seriously, people, you’re going to need tissues…
A/N: Heard the song and this idea immediately popped into my head. Written for Ice_Whisper as her Christmas Prezzie, though it’s late as usual, lol. (Though not as late as it seems cos I actually posted it on TtH about 2 weeks ago.) Hope you like your angst, lovey. The song is ‘Gone Too Soon’ by Daughtry.
Puck sighed as he slammed his locker shut. It had been a long day. He hadn’t wanted to come to school at all, had seriously considered just hiding under his covers all day at home like he had last year. But he’d managed to make himself get up and come to school. Not that he’d paid attention, but actually getting out of bed and coming to school was progress, right? Leaning against his locker, Puck sighed and closed his eyes and debated whether he wanted to skip Glee or not. He really just wanted to go home, turn off his phone, lock himself in his room, turn on that song he’d found, curl up in his bed and cry. He knew he’d get an earful from Rachel tomorrow if he did, especially considering Regionals was next week, but he couldn’t really bring himself to care.
Opening his eyes, he saw Quinn listlessly making her way toward the music room and sighed to himself once more. She looked about as bad as he felt. And if she could find it in her to sit through Glee practice, he supposed he could make it through as well. He had honestly been surprised when he’d seen her at her locker that morning, honestly hadn’t expected her to come to school today. He knew she hadn’t last year. Knew she’d spent the day much like he had. Curled up in bed with nothing but tears for company. They’d both looked horrible when they’d run into each other as the sun had gone down that night, apparently having had the same thought. They’d spent the next few hours leaning silently against each other, fingers tangled together. Even after the rain had started. It had seemed fitting to them both, the rain pouring from the sky matching the tears that streamed down their faces.
As Quinn glanced up and met his gaze for a brief second, Puck knew he’d be seeing her again that night, just as he had last year. Quinn quickly looked down and Puck sighed to himself again as he shoved away from his locker and followed her down the hall to the music room. He paused in the doorway and glanced around, seeing everyone else already there. He caught Quinn’s gaze again and tilted his head to the side slightly as he glanced at the seat next to her questioningly. Quinn followed his gaze to the chair and hesitated for a moment before nodding. Sitting down next to her, Puck silently slid his seat closer to hers and reached over to take her hand, lacing their fingers together and squeezing her hand lightly. She glanced up at him and the corner of her lips twitched like she wanted to smile at him in thanks, but she just couldn’t find it in herself to do so.
They sat there in silence while everyone else chatted around them as they waited for Mr. Schue, who was apparently running late today. As the minutes ticked by, Puck’s free hand came up to rest on his thigh, his fingers tapping out the beat to the song he’d been listening to repeatedly for the last week or so, ever since he’d first heard it. He had the whole thing memorized already.
Glancing at the clock, Puck once again considered ditching practice. Schue was taking too long and his thoughts and emotions were starting to overwhelm him. Just as he was about to ask Quinn if she wanted to leave with him, Schue walked in and immediately started talking about Regionals and their set list and Puck leaned back in his seat and pretended to pay attention, his fingers still tapping away on his thigh.
“Mr. Schue,” Puck cut in a few minutes later, interrupting the teacher’s ramblings, not really sure what the man was actually talking about at the moment. A pep talk, maybe? But he couldn’t just sit there anymore, there were too many emotions swirling around inside him. “Can I sing something?”
“I, uh, I guess. Sure,” Mr. Schue replied, thrown off by Puck’s sudden request.
Puck nodded and squeezed Quinn’s hand before standing up and making his way to the front of the room, pausing to grab his guitar and pull a stool over. Sighing to himself yet again, Puck closed his eyes as he tuned his guitar. Opening his eyes, he met Quinn’s and took a deep breath, this time to calm himself, and started playing. A few seconds later, he started singing, his eyes still locked with Quinn’s.
“Today could’ve been the day
That you’d blow out your candles
Make a wish as you closed your eyes”
He saw as the words registered with Quinn, saw her breath hitch as tears welled in her eyes. Could hear the gasps from the others as they realized what today was, realized why he and Quinn had been so quiet all day. He wasn’t really surprised that they hadn’t realized it sooner. Neither he nor Quinn talked about it. Ever. It had been two years, two years today. And aside from a few whispered ‘it’s not fair’s that had barely made it past the tears and the sobs that day, they hadn’t talked about it.
“Today could’ve been the day
Everybody was laughing
Instead I just sit here and cry”
Puck closed his eyes, a tear slipping down his cheek as he continued to sing, imagining a two year old Beth blowing out her candles while he stood behind her making sure she didn’t accidentally burn herself, Quinn across the table and taking pictures while their friends stood around them. That’s how they should be spending today. Not like this.
“Who would you be
What would you look like
When you looked at me
For the very first time”
He’d never had a chance to find that out. Never had a chance to see what color his beautiful baby girl’s eyes were. Never had a chance to see the look of wonder on her face as she looked at him, as she looked at Quinn, as she took in the world for the first time.
“Today could’ve been the next day
Of the rest of your life
Not a day goes by
That I don’t think of you
I’m always asking why
This crazy world had to lose
Such a ray of light
We never knew
Gone too soon
Yeah, yeah, yeah”
It was something he was constantly asking himself; Why? Why take her? Why take someone so beautiful before they’d even had a chance to live. It was cruel. It wasn’t fair. He and Quinn had decided only a week before that they wanted to keep her, to keep their beautiful daughter and raise her. And then she was so cruelly ripped away from them. Quinn had gone into labor at Regionals and everything had seemed fine until Beth was born and there was silence. Horrifying, deafening silence. Their daughter never opened her eyes, never took her first breath, never cried, never had a chance to prove to the world just how awesome she was. She was gone. Before she was even there she was gone.
“Would you have been president
Or a painter, an author
Who sang like your mother
One thing is evident
Would have given all I had
Would have loved you like no other
Who would you be
What would you look like
Would have my smile
And her eyes
Today could’ve been the next day
Of the rest of your life”
Puck opened his eyes for a moment, seeing Quinn in front of him, tears streaming down her face, one hand covering her mouth as she sobbed silently. He tried to imagine what their little girl would look like, gave her Quinn’s hair with his natural curl, his smile, Quinn’s eyes. She would have been beautiful, stunning…perfect. Closing his eyes again, he kept that image in his mind as he continued to sing.
“Not a day goes by
That I don’t think of you
I’m always asking why
This crazy world had to lose
Such a ray of light
We never knew
Gone too soon
Yeah, yeah, yeah
Not a day goes by
I’m always asking why
Not a day goes by
That I don’t think of you
I’m always asking why
This crazy world had to lose
Such a beautiful life
We never knew
Gone too soon
Gone too soon
Yeah-ah-ah
Not a day goes by
That I don’t think of you”
Puck let the music fade before opening his eyes. Setting his guitar aside, he stood up and crossed the room to Quinn, ignoring everyone else, most of whom he absently noted had tears on their faces as well. Silently he reached out for Quinn, lacing their fingers together again when she took his hand. Tugging her gently to her feet, he led her from the room, not even sparing a glance for the others.
He started to turn to the doors when they exited the music room and sent Quinn a curious look as she pulled him toward the lockers instead. She stopped in front of her locker and opened it one-handed, not letting him go. Opening the door, she reached in and pulled out a single white rose before closing the door again and turning to leave. Puck nodded when he saw what was in her hand. There was one sitting on the seat of his truck as well, waiting to be taken to the cemetery and placed in front of the small stone angel that marked their daughter’s grave.
The ride to the cemetery was silent, as was the walk to the grave. Quinn crouched down and placed her rose on the grave. She stayed down there for a moment, the hand that had held the rose resting on her stomach while the other was twisted awkwardly so that she didn’t have to let go of Puck.
“Happy birthday, baby girl,” she whispered softly. “Wish you were here. I love you.”
As Quinn stood back up, Puck crouched down and set his rose next to hers. He lifted his hand and pressed a soft kiss to his fingers before touching them to the angel.
“I love you, princess,” he whispered, “so much.”
Shuffling back a few steps, Puck sat down in the grass in front of the grave, tugging Quinn down next to him. She cuddled into his side, laying her head on his should, tucking it up under his chin, and he wrapped his arm around her, holding her close, their fingers still tightly laced together.
They were both silent as they sat there. Sitting there together, they drew strength and comfort from each other’s presence, each of them knowing that the other knew what they were feeling, how much they were hurting, knew and understood. Words weren’t needed.