life is just a memory
i've always been a daddy's girl. most girls can say they have and we can all admit that there is a point in life when our dad doesn't feel like the same person anymore. ive felt like that with my dad for a while now. for a while its been like my dad can only be apart of my life when i allow him to be or when i have time for while to be. but this weekend was different. this weekend was probably the closest ive felt to my dad in a while being away from home. it was just the two of us for a couple days enjoying simple things and not having to kiss him on the cheek and say bye ill be back tomorrow morning. my mom says that my dad will take it much harder when i go to college than she will. my moms been used to me not being around and i only argue with my mom. i dont think my dad will be able to handle me being gone. but this weekend ended up being probably the last we could spend away. since i was born we've always gone from camping in tents, to pop-ups to old campers and we have one now except my dad just flat out said we're selling it today. no explanation to anyone else except i know why. my dad and i spent a few days together and my mom and brother came up for only a few hours and really didnt care to stay any longer when it was my dad who just wanted us all to be together. i really needed to come home so i did last night with my mom and brother and he stayed. the way he said thanks to me when i left made me want to cry because it seems like everything has just become a memory. everything is in the past because things have changed forever. no one can say if they are good or bad but they've changed for good. he called me an hour or so after we got home to say he was coming home because he missed us and didnt want to be alone. so no more family weekends away at least not the way we'll always remember them. and i said to my dad it's really sad and he said yeah, it is sad. he always looks like he has a little tear in his eye when he and i both realize without saying a word to each other.
i guess we can still take the boat here or there but like my dad said when is it that we'll have time anyway? he and i rode all the way out to the bay from gloucester and the river in the boat but things wont ever be like that again. what if we never go back to that spot again? the most amazing sunsets ive ever seen over water were there and riding over smooth glass water with the reflection of a pink summer sun is beautiful. it probably will be the last time.
so thanks, dad. from the bottom of my heart though im sure you'll never read this. for all those times. so maybe when you and mom are retired you'll do it all again but it wont ever be the same. at least i can stop and remember the times i knew we were the closest and i could never disappoint you even if i tried. i'll always be your one and only favorite daughter.
i guess we can still take the boat here or there but like my dad said when is it that we'll have time anyway? he and i rode all the way out to the bay from gloucester and the river in the boat but things wont ever be like that again. what if we never go back to that spot again? the most amazing sunsets ive ever seen over water were there and riding over smooth glass water with the reflection of a pink summer sun is beautiful. it probably will be the last time.
so thanks, dad. from the bottom of my heart though im sure you'll never read this. for all those times. so maybe when you and mom are retired you'll do it all again but it wont ever be the same. at least i can stop and remember the times i knew we were the closest and i could never disappoint you even if i tried. i'll always be your one and only favorite daughter.