(no subject)
Title: Forever isnt long enough
Author: Me
Chapter: 2
Rating: No idea >_<
Pairings/Characters: Kyo and Toshiya at he moment
Summary: Okie, dokie, this chapter involves Kaoru, and he’s not particularly fond of Kyo XD its back in time a little. Kyo ‘asks’ Kaoru to join Dir En Grey and we get to see how Kyo feels about Toshiya, which at the moment is how he’d feel about his favourite pet >_< Its kinda cute ^^ More to be up very very soon
Chapter three-There is nothing worse than this
Kaoru’s point of view
I’m sitting in this rancid place, everything is so plastic and fake and I just know that it will bring me nothing but lies and deceit. I hate it. I hate it with every bone in my worthless excuse for a body. And I ‘m not alone. And I hate that too. I would much rather be alone than serving detention with Kyo. I hate that boy, with his flawless white skin and lank blonde hair and perfect body. I hate him. And his voice, I hate that too, the way it’s all soft and melodic and yet pained at the same time. And I hate the way his hands are always smooth and soft and gliding over everything he touches. The way he’s so fucking mysterious all the goddamn time. I hate it. I hate him.
It’s his fault we’re here anyway. If he hadn’t come onto me at break I would never have hit him one. He deserved what he got. The prick sauntered over to me when I was by my locker, and I assumed he was going to his, so I turned and dug my hand deep into mine, passed sweaty gym kit to get my stuff out and then he was right behind me, his breath hot on my ear, his stench lingering rankly in my nose and I felt his hand grab my ass, and it’s not like normally I would oppose to that kind of thing, it’s just that this was Kyo, the boy who wore flannel shirts to school and women’s clothes, I didn’t want to get a reputation for being seen around him.
It’s not like I even hit him hard anyway. Honestly, my locker could have done a better job than I did; I was so caught up in what had just happened I wasn’t concentrating properly. Hah, I don’t think the sucker’s been having a good day: beat up by me, by the look of his bruises his dad has been at it too and now he’s in detention. I’m not much better off though…
I look across at him (I have NO idea what I’m actually meant to be doing). He’s staring, intently, at his desk, his eyebrows furrowing a little in concentration, but I know he sees me looking at him, so I continue to stare, just to be the annoying creep I am. He’s still not showing me any attention; I’m not used to being ignored so rudely. I can’t even see his face any longer because his hair has swung forward to hide everything but the tip of his nose. Damn. Now what am I meant to do?
He sighs now; a strange noise starts from the back of his throat and he lets his head roll back in boredom. God, he actually looks kind of hot like that. It’s enough to kill me. I want to run out right now but something about Kyo keeps me fixated to my chair. I can tell he’s thinking now, he might as well be screaming, it’s that obvious. It’s cute. His nose is wrinkled up and his eyes are screwed shut and I realize he is sneezing and not just being a total spas for once. He wipes his nose on his shirtsleeve and he looks like a little kid. God, did I jus think he’s cute? Well…he is, kind of. No, I’m just being stupid he not cute, he’s just…he looks like a bunny, yes, bunnies are cute, no, bunnies are vermin, yes. Kyo is vermin. And that is not cute. But he is cute, and maybe, maybe social rejects are allowed to be cute; after all, no one needs to know I think he is… His eyes are watering from his little sneeze spas and he brings his hand up to wipe a tear away. As he does so, his sleeve slips and I catch sight of a thin read streak of blood that fills a gaping cut on his wrist. It’s kind of blackened in the centre showing it’s depth and I shiver and pull my own sleeves down. He smiles at me when he sees me starring, but not noticing my discomfort or the exposure of his marked flesh. His smile is so beautiful… How dare he smile at me? Cunt. Does he think this is all some kind of joke, us being stuck in here for an hour?
Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx one-hour later xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxX
We are getting up. This torture is over. At last. Now I can have words with him. He swings his bag over his left shoulder and flicks his hair for no reason as he turns, staring at the floor like always. He leaves before me, his hand grabs for the door handle rather too hastily and he steps out of the room. I follow and grab his shoulder before he can go any further. My mind is racing. Why am I even doing this? What do I even want from him? But I do it any way.
‘Why did you do that? Earlier I mean’ Yeah, smooth, real smooth Kaoru.
He looks up at me (man he’s short!) bashfully; pink growing in his cheeks and stutters a little.
‘I only… I only wanted to ask you something…’ He trails off weakly and looks as if he’s about to make an exit.
‘Well, ask away, you’ve got my attention now’ I reply, almost smarmily, trying my hardest to be sarcastic but curious all the same.
Kyo’s point of view
Now I thought that was bad enough, a whole hour of enduring that, with him! But this is so much worse. It feels like my stomach has been ripped out of my throat and I’ve been left to bleed dry. Why did I have to even go and grab his ass in the first place? There was a million other ways to get the guys attention but I choose that out of all of them. I don’t even know his name. He’s not even in any of my classes. All I know is, he’s an amazing guitarist. Seriously, amazing. He’s just what the band needs. I don’t know WHAT made me think he might even want to be in a band with me, it’s not like he’s my friend or I have friends he knows or anything like that. I’m just some guy, I guess. But this now is much, MUCH worse, he’s actually confronting me, actually less than a foot away from me, in all his hotness (yes, I happen to think he’s hot, even though he is way out of my league, and when did I start thinking guys were hot?) and he’s grabbed my shirt now and I have no idea what he is saying because I’m really not paying the slightest bit of attention, even though I’m trying my hardest to just hear something of what he’s saying to me, or more, yelling to me.
‘I only… I only wanted to ask you something…’ I try to say. God, does he even care what I wanted to know? I don’t think so. He has nice shoes. I wish I could afford shoes like that, but I’m such a tramp…Kyo, stay focused, what does it matter what shoes he is wearing?
‘D’yuwannabeinabandwithme?’ I mumble, half absent-mindedly.
*************************************************************
From Kyo’s Point of View
This room smells of that smell that all teenage boy’s rooms smell of. That smell that lingers in everything, coating it in a way that can’t be placed. I do not know if it is a bad smell because I’ve lived with it for so long but it’s a smell all the same. I want to wrinkle my nose but I’m too distracted by Toshiya’s fragile frame sprawled out on the bed next to me. He’s sleeping here tonight. Something about his parents giving him a hard time. It’s only nine o’clock, but he’s already flat out and fast asleep, his body twisted to face the wall with one arm slung over his body, draping over the bed. He looks so unbelievably adorable like that, curled up like a five year old. I can see his chest rising softly up and down in a way that is soothing to me and I can’t help but stare at him as he sleeps on silently.
I know he’s dreaming. I know because every now and then his hand twitches and then clenches and he lets out a small mumble just below my hearing. I wonder what he’s dreaming. I wonder if it’s me he’s dreaming of, he usually dreams of me. Sometimes he’ll call my name out softly, almost as though it is trying desperately to escape from his lips every night he sleeps. I do not mind. I like the thought of him dreaming about me, it makes me feel appreciated. I do not dream of Toshiya, or at least not to my knowledge. I think about him, sure I think about him all the time. I don’t know why though. I just do. And it feels good to know that he thinks of me too. It feels good to know that although we are far from similar, we are not entirely different in our thinking.
I also think about Kaoru now. I got back from that detention five hours ago and I’m still buzzing from his reply. He said yes. He said he’d heard me sing and thought I was talented. He said he was looking to start a band. He said he’d heard that a guy called Die was in my ‘band’ and he admired his talent. He said he would join as long as it was kept low profile because he didn’t want to be seen around me just yet. Heh. Nice guy Kaoru is. Scary though. Very scary. He’s not really much like me, you see. It’s crazy, this thing is actually picking up. I hope Toshiya can keep up the pace. Knowing him, things will not work out with him in the band.
It’s weird. I can’t stop thinking about Kaoru. And then I think of Toshiya and feel guilty. I know I shouldn’t. I should be able to think about anyone I like, without Toshiya’s permission. But for some reason, it feels like I’m betraying him, the one person that has been there for me since forever. I don’t even know Kaoru. And what I do know of him, I don’t like. But then I’ve always loved things I’ve hated.
The window to our room is wide open to let the air in because it’s a hot night; earlier I could see Toshiya’s hair flat against his face with the heat and could feel mine going limp. But it’s getting cooler now. That kind of cold that is sudden and kind of sweeps up on you in a surprise, almost like love really. The hair on Toshiya’s arms is up on end and he is shivering violently. I think of closing the window, the obvious solution, but instead I climb onto the bed and wrap my arms around his freezing body, rubbing his back to bring the heat back to him. I bury my face in the back of his neck and breathe my hot breath there. He smells like me; it must be my room. His skin feels like mine; it must be the soap we use. His hair tastes like mine; we must use similar shampoo; we are quite similar really. Almost exactly the same. It’s nice. I like it. It makes me feel secure. I can feel my lips touching his skin softly. Not on purpose, but they are there all the same, and I think about all the desire I’ve ever felt to touch the girls in my class, and maybe even Kaoru, like this and I can feel myself burning up. Then I remember it is only Toshiya. Only my little Toshiya, and I leave my lips there, thinking I’m comfortable with being like this, knowing it’s ok, because he’s only my friend. It’s ok to feel the warmth of his skin against my own because it’s something pure, it’s right, it’s natural, I like it. He shifts slightly beside me and lets out a slight whimper as I let my hand slide down to his waist to comfort him.
‘Kyo?’ He’s awake.
‘What Toshiya’ I whisper as though the whole house is asleep, even though my parents are screaming at each other down stairs.
‘Kyo, I love you. You’re my best friend in the whole wide world. You know that right?’ His voice is soft and almost sing-song in that sleepy way he always tell me this. ‘And even if they (he means my parents) hate each other and one day never speak to each other and refuse to be your parents, you’ll never refuse to be my friend, right?’
‘Of course not Toshiya, I’ll always be your friend, no matter how much I hate it, and yes, Toshiya, I know you love me. I know I’m your best friend. You told me yesterday remember, and the day before that and so many days before them.’ I say back, trying not to laugh, but smiling to myself happily at the sound of his sigh, signifying he’s going back to sleep, too afraid to hear my parents scream any longer to bother with sounding hurt at my remark. God I love this kid.
Author: Me
Chapter: 2
Rating: No idea >_<
Pairings/Characters: Kyo and Toshiya at he moment
Summary: Okie, dokie, this chapter involves Kaoru, and he’s not particularly fond of Kyo XD its back in time a little. Kyo ‘asks’ Kaoru to join Dir En Grey and we get to see how Kyo feels about Toshiya, which at the moment is how he’d feel about his favourite pet >_< Its kinda cute ^^ More to be up very very soon
Chapter three-There is nothing worse than this
Kaoru’s point of view
I’m sitting in this rancid place, everything is so plastic and fake and I just know that it will bring me nothing but lies and deceit. I hate it. I hate it with every bone in my worthless excuse for a body. And I ‘m not alone. And I hate that too. I would much rather be alone than serving detention with Kyo. I hate that boy, with his flawless white skin and lank blonde hair and perfect body. I hate him. And his voice, I hate that too, the way it’s all soft and melodic and yet pained at the same time. And I hate the way his hands are always smooth and soft and gliding over everything he touches. The way he’s so fucking mysterious all the goddamn time. I hate it. I hate him.
It’s his fault we’re here anyway. If he hadn’t come onto me at break I would never have hit him one. He deserved what he got. The prick sauntered over to me when I was by my locker, and I assumed he was going to his, so I turned and dug my hand deep into mine, passed sweaty gym kit to get my stuff out and then he was right behind me, his breath hot on my ear, his stench lingering rankly in my nose and I felt his hand grab my ass, and it’s not like normally I would oppose to that kind of thing, it’s just that this was Kyo, the boy who wore flannel shirts to school and women’s clothes, I didn’t want to get a reputation for being seen around him.
It’s not like I even hit him hard anyway. Honestly, my locker could have done a better job than I did; I was so caught up in what had just happened I wasn’t concentrating properly. Hah, I don’t think the sucker’s been having a good day: beat up by me, by the look of his bruises his dad has been at it too and now he’s in detention. I’m not much better off though…
I look across at him (I have NO idea what I’m actually meant to be doing). He’s staring, intently, at his desk, his eyebrows furrowing a little in concentration, but I know he sees me looking at him, so I continue to stare, just to be the annoying creep I am. He’s still not showing me any attention; I’m not used to being ignored so rudely. I can’t even see his face any longer because his hair has swung forward to hide everything but the tip of his nose. Damn. Now what am I meant to do?
He sighs now; a strange noise starts from the back of his throat and he lets his head roll back in boredom. God, he actually looks kind of hot like that. It’s enough to kill me. I want to run out right now but something about Kyo keeps me fixated to my chair. I can tell he’s thinking now, he might as well be screaming, it’s that obvious. It’s cute. His nose is wrinkled up and his eyes are screwed shut and I realize he is sneezing and not just being a total spas for once. He wipes his nose on his shirtsleeve and he looks like a little kid. God, did I jus think he’s cute? Well…he is, kind of. No, I’m just being stupid he not cute, he’s just…he looks like a bunny, yes, bunnies are cute, no, bunnies are vermin, yes. Kyo is vermin. And that is not cute. But he is cute, and maybe, maybe social rejects are allowed to be cute; after all, no one needs to know I think he is… His eyes are watering from his little sneeze spas and he brings his hand up to wipe a tear away. As he does so, his sleeve slips and I catch sight of a thin read streak of blood that fills a gaping cut on his wrist. It’s kind of blackened in the centre showing it’s depth and I shiver and pull my own sleeves down. He smiles at me when he sees me starring, but not noticing my discomfort or the exposure of his marked flesh. His smile is so beautiful… How dare he smile at me? Cunt. Does he think this is all some kind of joke, us being stuck in here for an hour?
Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx one-hour later xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxX
We are getting up. This torture is over. At last. Now I can have words with him. He swings his bag over his left shoulder and flicks his hair for no reason as he turns, staring at the floor like always. He leaves before me, his hand grabs for the door handle rather too hastily and he steps out of the room. I follow and grab his shoulder before he can go any further. My mind is racing. Why am I even doing this? What do I even want from him? But I do it any way.
‘Why did you do that? Earlier I mean’ Yeah, smooth, real smooth Kaoru.
He looks up at me (man he’s short!) bashfully; pink growing in his cheeks and stutters a little.
‘I only… I only wanted to ask you something…’ He trails off weakly and looks as if he’s about to make an exit.
‘Well, ask away, you’ve got my attention now’ I reply, almost smarmily, trying my hardest to be sarcastic but curious all the same.
Kyo’s point of view
Now I thought that was bad enough, a whole hour of enduring that, with him! But this is so much worse. It feels like my stomach has been ripped out of my throat and I’ve been left to bleed dry. Why did I have to even go and grab his ass in the first place? There was a million other ways to get the guys attention but I choose that out of all of them. I don’t even know his name. He’s not even in any of my classes. All I know is, he’s an amazing guitarist. Seriously, amazing. He’s just what the band needs. I don’t know WHAT made me think he might even want to be in a band with me, it’s not like he’s my friend or I have friends he knows or anything like that. I’m just some guy, I guess. But this now is much, MUCH worse, he’s actually confronting me, actually less than a foot away from me, in all his hotness (yes, I happen to think he’s hot, even though he is way out of my league, and when did I start thinking guys were hot?) and he’s grabbed my shirt now and I have no idea what he is saying because I’m really not paying the slightest bit of attention, even though I’m trying my hardest to just hear something of what he’s saying to me, or more, yelling to me.
‘I only… I only wanted to ask you something…’ I try to say. God, does he even care what I wanted to know? I don’t think so. He has nice shoes. I wish I could afford shoes like that, but I’m such a tramp…Kyo, stay focused, what does it matter what shoes he is wearing?
‘D’yuwannabeinabandwithme?’ I mumble, half absent-mindedly.
*************************************************************
From Kyo’s Point of View
This room smells of that smell that all teenage boy’s rooms smell of. That smell that lingers in everything, coating it in a way that can’t be placed. I do not know if it is a bad smell because I’ve lived with it for so long but it’s a smell all the same. I want to wrinkle my nose but I’m too distracted by Toshiya’s fragile frame sprawled out on the bed next to me. He’s sleeping here tonight. Something about his parents giving him a hard time. It’s only nine o’clock, but he’s already flat out and fast asleep, his body twisted to face the wall with one arm slung over his body, draping over the bed. He looks so unbelievably adorable like that, curled up like a five year old. I can see his chest rising softly up and down in a way that is soothing to me and I can’t help but stare at him as he sleeps on silently.
I know he’s dreaming. I know because every now and then his hand twitches and then clenches and he lets out a small mumble just below my hearing. I wonder what he’s dreaming. I wonder if it’s me he’s dreaming of, he usually dreams of me. Sometimes he’ll call my name out softly, almost as though it is trying desperately to escape from his lips every night he sleeps. I do not mind. I like the thought of him dreaming about me, it makes me feel appreciated. I do not dream of Toshiya, or at least not to my knowledge. I think about him, sure I think about him all the time. I don’t know why though. I just do. And it feels good to know that he thinks of me too. It feels good to know that although we are far from similar, we are not entirely different in our thinking.
I also think about Kaoru now. I got back from that detention five hours ago and I’m still buzzing from his reply. He said yes. He said he’d heard me sing and thought I was talented. He said he was looking to start a band. He said he’d heard that a guy called Die was in my ‘band’ and he admired his talent. He said he would join as long as it was kept low profile because he didn’t want to be seen around me just yet. Heh. Nice guy Kaoru is. Scary though. Very scary. He’s not really much like me, you see. It’s crazy, this thing is actually picking up. I hope Toshiya can keep up the pace. Knowing him, things will not work out with him in the band.
It’s weird. I can’t stop thinking about Kaoru. And then I think of Toshiya and feel guilty. I know I shouldn’t. I should be able to think about anyone I like, without Toshiya’s permission. But for some reason, it feels like I’m betraying him, the one person that has been there for me since forever. I don’t even know Kaoru. And what I do know of him, I don’t like. But then I’ve always loved things I’ve hated.
The window to our room is wide open to let the air in because it’s a hot night; earlier I could see Toshiya’s hair flat against his face with the heat and could feel mine going limp. But it’s getting cooler now. That kind of cold that is sudden and kind of sweeps up on you in a surprise, almost like love really. The hair on Toshiya’s arms is up on end and he is shivering violently. I think of closing the window, the obvious solution, but instead I climb onto the bed and wrap my arms around his freezing body, rubbing his back to bring the heat back to him. I bury my face in the back of his neck and breathe my hot breath there. He smells like me; it must be my room. His skin feels like mine; it must be the soap we use. His hair tastes like mine; we must use similar shampoo; we are quite similar really. Almost exactly the same. It’s nice. I like it. It makes me feel secure. I can feel my lips touching his skin softly. Not on purpose, but they are there all the same, and I think about all the desire I’ve ever felt to touch the girls in my class, and maybe even Kaoru, like this and I can feel myself burning up. Then I remember it is only Toshiya. Only my little Toshiya, and I leave my lips there, thinking I’m comfortable with being like this, knowing it’s ok, because he’s only my friend. It’s ok to feel the warmth of his skin against my own because it’s something pure, it’s right, it’s natural, I like it. He shifts slightly beside me and lets out a slight whimper as I let my hand slide down to his waist to comfort him.
‘Kyo?’ He’s awake.
‘What Toshiya’ I whisper as though the whole house is asleep, even though my parents are screaming at each other down stairs.
‘Kyo, I love you. You’re my best friend in the whole wide world. You know that right?’ His voice is soft and almost sing-song in that sleepy way he always tell me this. ‘And even if they (he means my parents) hate each other and one day never speak to each other and refuse to be your parents, you’ll never refuse to be my friend, right?’
‘Of course not Toshiya, I’ll always be your friend, no matter how much I hate it, and yes, Toshiya, I know you love me. I know I’m your best friend. You told me yesterday remember, and the day before that and so many days before them.’ I say back, trying not to laugh, but smiling to myself happily at the sound of his sigh, signifying he’s going back to sleep, too afraid to hear my parents scream any longer to bother with sounding hurt at my remark. God I love this kid.