(no subject)
Title: True Life
Author: diru69
Chapter: 8/hurr nur
Rating: PG-something
Disclaimer: I don't own em... or do I?
WARNING: Hints of yaoi, cussing
Summary: "My legs weren't as motivated to support me now that my hands had a hold of something, and just as I was sure I could just get them to work by myself, Kyo's arms locked around me tightly, bringing me so close to him that my face was solidly pressed right up against his chest, allowing me to take in his scent.... by accident!"
A/N: Hey everyone, I know this is overdue...ish. Can someone tell me how to put links to my other chapters in here? It'd be much appreciated. ^^ Anyway, I just finished the last paragraph of this and I'm in a writing mood, so I'll have chappy nine very soon. :D Comments will be rewarded with cyber cookies ^^ btw, thx to inbrilliantgrey for commenting on all my chapters even though they suck thus far. :D I LERV YOU!
~Toshiya's POV:~
This area of Nagano was one I was used to. I'd lived in Nagano my entire life, so I knew it pretty well. Me and my bandmates, Gin, Ichiro, Hisao, and my best friend, Chitose, hadn't done a local live in a while, and we got a couple other bands to do the live with us, since they were looking for bands as well. I was kinda interested in meeting the guys from La Sadies. I'd heard a lot of weird rumors about them. Because of that, I'd learned their names really fast, all five of them. I'd heard the most about a man named Kyo. I'd never seen a picture of him or anything, but more than anything, I wanted to meet him. I was interested in all the crazy shit I heard going around about the guy.
So I looked forward to the live, mainly because I wanted to find him and find out which rumors were true and which ones weren't, because if most of them were, he was actually pretty similar to me in a lot of ways. Fucking no one is similar to me! Oh, but then again if all the gossip shit is true, he's probably really anti-social and grumpy... I thought to myself. Did that stop me? Hell to the no. This band got there really early, La Sadies I mean. So the second I got dressed, I practically ran off to find them. I'd seen an individual poster of their guitarist, Die, so I knew them apart from the other band when I saw four of the five members lounging in a waiting room-type place. Die was with them. I'd gotten dressed really fast just to see Kyo, so the rest of my band was still dressing... Even Chitose, and he always finished things first.
One of them, a man with high cheekbones and pale skin, looked up at me as he popped open a bottle of water. "Oh, hey! Which band are you from?" He asked in a deep voice. "Oh, um, my name's Toshimasa, I'm from GOSICK. But I go by Toshiya. What about you?" I asked him without taking a seat. "Kaoru, I'm the guitarist of La Sadies." he half-smiled at me, "So what instrument do you play?" I stared up a little, as if there were something captivatingly interesting on the ceiling. "Bass." A slender man with orange-dyed hair cheered a little. "Bass players rule! My names Kisaki! I'm bass here, obviously." "Die, guitars as well!" "Shinya... um, drums." I glanced around. "Hey, where's your vocalist, Kyo?" The man named Kaoru nodded as he swallowed some water he had in his mouth. "Oh, him. Damn, people always wanna know about Kyo. He grumbled something about sleeping, he's probably off in one of the other hot-as-Hell lounge rooms. He can sleep anywhere."
I chuckled a little, thinking he was joking about the sleeping part. After all, how could he not be joking? Somehow, we'd gotten a place with these straw-like sofas and chairs that were anything but nice to rest on, plus, if he was wearing anything like what the rest of hs band was, he was sweating like a friggin' donkey in an onsen. No one can possibely sleep in thick denim blend pants and pleather shirts with trench coats. Oh, and boots. Don't forget the burn-you-feet-like-a-motherfucker-boots. "What does he look like?" I asked. "He's reeeeallly short. And he has kinda orange-ish blondish hair. Like this guy's, only more yellow." Die said, pointing to Kisaki. I smiled wide, probably giving them a good look at my fucked up teeth, which I took pride in.
"Thanks! It was nice meeting you all in person." I walked out of the room to start my search for my vocalist. I mean, their vocalist. Tiny, light orange hair. Tiny, light orange hair. I thought in my head as I walked away. As I made my way down the corridor, I could hear them talking inside. Their voices were still fresh in my mind, I could tell who was talking. "Wait, is he going off to find him?" Die asked. "Tch. Good fucking luck, man. Well, talking to him I mean." Kisaki's voice got quieter as I got farther away, keepng my pace. God, he made the guy sound like he'd bite my head of or something. I looked inside all the rooms I passed, all of my efforts fruitless. Not that I was about to give up, I'd just have to check all the rooms, thats all. I started counting the numbers of doors I entered. I got to twenty four when I heard something breathing a little heavily past the door behind me. I couldn't get a good look through the darkness when I opened the door to the unlit room, but sure enough, I saw someone stretch out and sit up, someone matching Kaoru's description.
Like I said, it was dark. I couldn't make out his features very well, but I could see that he was fairly petite, and I could vaguely see orange-blond hair, long and kinda of puffed out at the top. I could also see by the way that the shadows shifted on his face... He was very sleepy and probably perturbed that I had just awoken him. Oops! How was I supposed to know those guys were being serious?! I didn't think it was possible to sleep in those clothes! And yes, he was dressed like the rest of his band! Maybe Kyo had a death wish. Yeah, that makes sense, he wanted to dye of heat stroke, in his sleep. He groaned lightly, a deep yet kind of soft noise. "Oh, I'm sorry, I didn't know you were actually sleeping. I thought your bandmates were just kidding, but I guess you really can sleep any time. I didn't mean to disrupt you." I apologized as nice as I could.
He looked over at me the second I spoke up, and the lights from the hall hit his face just right. I gasped quietly. I'd never seen him anywhere. I'd ever seen pictures of his face... Not in posters, cover pics, interviews... I'd never so much as heard his voice. And yet I...knew him? No, I didn't know him... Did I? But I'd never seen this man before. It feels like I saw him in a dream or something. I wracked my mind, trying to go through all the dreams that ever stood out. Kyo's face was very handsome and I didn't know anyone that resembled him in the least, so if I saw him in a dream, I probably would've remembered. I have really good memory. Maybe... I was in his dream? No, that's crazy, that wouldn't make sense! You don't remember being in someone else's dreams, it doesn't work that way! I snapped out of my trance, realizing my dazed state left me with no control over my facial expressions. I was looking at Kyo like I'd seen a ghost.
I tried to cover it up the best I could pull off, and said the first thing that came to mind on reflex. "What's your name?" He looked almost suprised to hear me ask such a simple, ordinary thing. "My name's Kyo. I thought you'd know that if you talked to my bandmates." He pointed out very matter-of-factly. Actually, I had no intention of asking him that, it just sort of slipped out. But I decided to go with it. "Yeah, I just wanted to make sure." I replied. "What about you, what's your name?" Why does it feel like I've asked him that already? In a different place and time, or something? "My name..." I said quietly, as though if I spoke any louder, this odd moment would just fall apart, and the ground would break beneath the two of us, "My name is Toshiya."
He arched his back inward painfully, wringing his shirt into a clump around his chest with his fingers. "Are you okay?" I asked, trying not to seem too much like a mother. "Oh, no, uhm, I'm fine, nice to meet you." He insisted. I was a little curious about what had happened, but there wasn't any pain in his voice. He got up, probably just to turn on a light or something, but I worried a bit and walked over toward him. I wanted to catch him in case he fell, he seemed a bit groggy and out of it. Ironically, I tripped over a small nail poking out of the floor board a couple feet from him, and I fell. Lovely. I half expected to land flat on my face, after all, I was pretty clumsy, and this wouldn't really be the first time, per say.
Instead, something else happened. "Hey!" Kyo yelled out, sounding very much so awake. I heard a couple foot movements and instinctually, I reached out toward the noise. My left hand gripped itself around something round and soft; a shoulder. My right hand, which also had no mind of it's own, attempeted to follow my left hand's lead, and failed. Instead, it gripped onto the smooth and hard surface of Kyo's chest, sort of reminding me of a cat clinging to a screen door. My legs weren't as motivated to support me now that my hands had a hold of something, and just as I was sure I could just get them to work by myself, Kyo's arms locked around me tightly, bringing me so close to him that my face was solidly pressed right up against his chest, allowing me to take in his scent.... by accident!
Um, I dunno, it smelled really nice, so, well, my legs gave out and my cheeks felt kinda funny too, they were warmer than the rest of me. "You alright?" He asked worriedly, his lips just a little above my head so that his breath rustled my hair just a little. Ah, hell. I was already in a weird moment, I may as well just tell him, it would only get to me later if I didn't know who the hell he was. I looked straight up at him, trying not to blush at our proximity. This was sort of awkward and weird... "You..." my voice cracked and shook, so I started over, disregarding the first word. "You look... familiar." He looked down at me, a little suprised. He pulled me upwards to my feet.
Kind of an impressive feat, since I was a good head taller than him. I stiffened my legs so that I could stand. "I was kind of thinking about to say the same thing. But I know we've never met before... I don't talk to a lot of people, or even bother introducing myself to people. So I don't usually forget faces, either." It wasn't just me? "Same here..... Mind if I turn a light on?" I asked. "Yeah," he nodded. "could you close the door too?" I nodded back, flipping a light switch by the door before proceeding to shut the door, which was little more than a thin slab of wood. "Your scent is familiar. I remember smelling something that sweet once... like your body." He said out of no where. "What?" I squealed in a high pitch voice.
For a second, he looked at me funny. But after he rolled his eyes for a while, obviously thinking about what he just said. "Oh, right, I can see how that can be taken the wrong way." He said appethetically. "Don't worry, I didn't mean it like that... um, was it Toshiya?" I bobbed my head up an down. "You're in GOSICK, then, huh?" he asked as his eyes latched onto a black wristband I was wearing, that had my band's name in white lettering. I nodded yet again. "I play on-" "Bass?" he interjected, finishing my sentence. "How did you know?" His eyes seemed to still be locked on my wrist, but I guess they were on my hands now. "I played bass a little when I was a teenager. I also played guitar. The hand that stays on the fret board is always more calloused if you play bass, because the strings are thicker than guitar stings."
"You're really observant, aren't you?" I asked, pretty amazed that he noticed that. "I try... I figure you can't be good at writing realistc lyrics if you don't have a good perception of the world." I smiled at him. He was a lot more interesting than I thought, but in a different way. He was compelling as a person. "I haven't heard your music before. I have to now, you're probably really good at writing things that are real." I said. He looked down... the look of shame on his face couldn't be hidden. It was all written across him. "Yeah, maybe. But even if I am, I'm about to throw it all away. This whole thing might affect me in ways I couldn't imagine." He said soberly. "Throw it away?" I asked. "What do you mean? And what whole thing?" He snapped his head in another direction away from me. "No it's just... nothing, I'm just spouting random shit, I don't think before I speak sometimes. Forget it."
~Kyo's POV:~
I honestly didn't mean to say that... My guilty conscience probably got the best of me. I couldn't get it out of my mind that this was it, and after it, I'd be letting a lot of people down. The only thing that kept me going with this plan was the image of Aya's face in my mind, smiling happily at me. "No, please, tell me." Toshiya said. I narrowed my eyes and looked back into his face. "I said forget it." He was determined though. "It's obviously bothering you. Just tell me." He persisted. "I don't even know you." I muttered. He smiled and sat down on the sofa below me. "Well, apparently you know me somehow if you say you swear you've seen me before." Whatever. I didn't feel like arguing, and it couldn't do any damage...right?
"I had to choose between two things that were the most important things in my life. I finally chose which one I'm leaving behind... But that means that I'll be missing a huge part of me now. After tonight." I could feel that guilty conscience growing... At least one person would be happy with my decision. "What, have to choose between two girls?" he smiled. Something inside me flickered and I felt like laughing, but I could only manage a weak smile. "Something like that..." He grinned a little wider. "A girl and a guy?" he asked. I felt the laughter bubble out of my throat, audible to my own ears. "Something like that too. Though it's more like multiple guys and one girl. Or maybe multiple guys, a huge number guys and girls that I don't know, and a girl."
The dark haired man laughed. "I get it now! You're a pimp! Or a player, either one." It felt nice, no more sadness weighing down on my shoulders. At least, not for the moment. It was okay though, living in the empty joy for a few minutes. I decided I liked Toshiya. I wish I was dating him, then I wouldn't have to be worrying about choosing between people I love and the thing I love doing. "How did you start singing, Kyo-san?" The man named Toshiya asked randomly. "...Um, well, I started playing a lotta instruments when I found out about rock music... but then I started singing and it felt like it was my place so I started singing. I had a terrible voice, worse than the one I had now... So I practiced a lot. It grew on me so much that it was like another part of myself." There goes the pain again, talking about this and how important it is to me...
"I told my parents I wanted to drop out of school to sing. They took it even worse than I thought they would, and told me that I would never be anyone." Toshiya flinched ever so slightly. "Oh... so didn't that discourage you?" he asked softly. I shock my head. "It just made me want to try harder. My dad's never had any faith in me, so I want to prove to him that he's wrong, and shove it in his fucking face for not being right. That's why I'm in La Sadies, I want to make this band work. And when it becomes successful, he's going to be the first person who I talk to about it. My mom too... I want this a lot, so I'm not going to quit trying until I really become someone that my parents didn't expect me to be... I'm almost there." I didn't think about my words. It felt like another person was talking, and I was just listening.
And when it sank in, I realized that I'd forgotten something really important: I still had to prove my parents wrong. I promised myself that I'd do that... "I know how you feel. I'd hate living my life, always wondering what would've happened if I didn't just do what I felt instead of caving for someone else and giving up what I really wanted." Toshiya said comprehensivly. What he said... It hit damn close to home. Maybe I'd think about giving up La Sadies a little bit longer this time around. I stared at Toshiya for a little while before he finally noticed. "What is it?" he asked, looking around and behind him. "I-" my anser was cut off by the sound of Kisaki bellowing my name in the corridor outside. "Kyo? Kyo, where the fuck are you?"
"In here, you douch bag." I yelled back jokingly. He bust in immediatly, looking closely at me and Toshiya. "We're up first. We're going onstage in about fifteen minutes. Damn, Toshiya-san, you're still alive!" I rolled my eyes. "I'll be with you guys in a couple seconds, lemme take off my necklace first. No need to be so condescending by the way, I'm not a totally hateful person." Kisaki nodded. "Fine, fine, we'll all be in the room one up from the dressing room." I waited until he left to begin trying to unclasp my necklace throught the mess of my long, styled hair. I finally found it with the pad of my index finger and I latched onto the small metal bump on the clasp, pulling it down so that I could slip the chain away from my neck. I put it in my jacket as I walked out of the door. "Thank you." I said as I left.
~+~+~+~
I was so tired when the gig finally ended... I just wanted to get home and sleep. And holy shit, did I mention Toshiya is fucking Bass God?! It just sucks that there were only two songs where he was able to completely show it off. I had to hear him play again someday. In the mean time... "Kyo!" I heard a familiar female voice call out as I stepped outside. I turned my head. It was Aya. "Oh, hey, what're you doing here?" I asked in a worn voice that begged for rest. "You said you were having a live here tonight. I know I couldn't make it, but I thought the least I could do was pick you up so that we could eat at my place." Actually, as tired as I was, I was more hungry than anything. Food didn't sound too bad. "Thanks that sounds great." I smiled. "Don't blame me if I end up crashing at your place, though."
Aya drove us, probably afraid I'd fall asleep at the wheel. She knew how I was when I was tired. It was comfortabley silent, allowing me to think as I looked at the things beyond the road that shot past us as she drove at 65 miles per hour. "Aya," I said finally, eyes still glued to the window in utter fascination at the way the small droplets of rain that were starting to fall down, traveling freely and without a care down the glass surface. "Hm?" She said to let me know she'd heard me call her name. "I was just wondering... What would you say if I told you I wanted us to get married?" I felt the car swerve a bit, ever so briefly. The road was clear, no other cars, suprisingly, so she could afford to stare at me wide-eyed. Not the reaction I was expecting.
She laughed nervously. "What are you trying to say? You... want to marry me?" her face got whiter and whiter. I didn't flinch or make any sudden movements. I think even my heart stopped. "No, I wasn't going to propose to you, at least not now. God, I know that's a bad choice of words since I've obviously just freaked you the hell out." I said, feeling my heart drop into the blackening pit of my stomach. I felt sick and disappointed now... She nodded her head too quickly. "No, oh god no. Kyo, you didn't freak me out, I'm just suprised, I didn't think you were so serious about us." She was lying. Fear and suprise were two different things. "Of course I'm serious about you... Look, I'm going to be completely honest with you. I almost thought about giving up La Sadies so that I could live normally with you. But I met someone tonight and..." I sighed deeply. "It's a good thing I talked to them, otherwise I wouldn't have talked this out with you first." She snapped her head back at me.
"What do you mean you met someone?" She asked suspiciously. She was acting jealous, but I got a different vibe from her. She didn't care at all. And yet she was trying to turn the tables on me to make me look like the bad guy. Whatever was going on, I didn't like it. "Don't try to flip this, besides it's not even like that, he was just some bassist that I met." I could feel myself become just a little irritated. The car was almost on her street. "Just answer me. Do you even want to talk about us? You love me, right?" I inquired. The car found it's way to her house and parked on the curb. "Kyo, of course I love you. I care about you more than anything." Her eyes twitched as she spoke. It was quiet for a bit, except for the pitter-patter of rain around the water-impermeable shelter of the car. I looked out the window, at the rain that was now lightly showering down onto Aya's fresh cut grass lawn, watering the bonsai trees and lycan moss that grew in her yard.
"Then how come you won't talk about marriage?" I asked softly without looking back up at her from the window. I heard her nails drum on the wheel of the car in a pattern, the sound of leather being tightened since she was probably gripping the steering wheel for dear life. "It's raining out..." she observed dully. "Let's get inside before it gets heavy out here." She was trying to steer clear of this conversation. I could understand if she simply wasn't ready, but she would always tell me if that's what it was. She was hiding something and I didn't know what it was. She got out, slamming the car door behind her. I followed, and came around to her side where she awaited me. She grabbed my hand and smiled weakly as she walked us to the porch door. I watched in numbness as Aya twisted and turned the knob on the unlocked door, unleashinng a blast of smells-chicken teriyaki, dumplings, some other things- that hit my face.
She led me to the dining room, where a bunch of my favorite foods waited. I sat down. "Sausage burrito for dinner?" I raised an eyebrow. "Hey, it's twelve in the morning, so technically it's breakfast." She smiled in a sickeningly sweet way. "Still..." I put my two cents in. "Hey I know you like the way I make them, so I cooked some up." The smile remained. "Yeah, but you hardly ever make them because you say it's too much trouble and you don't like them. What's the catch?" I asked, taking a bite very cautiously. I was beginning to get a bit suspicious. She was bad at hiding her nervousness, around me at least. She tried, but trying just wasn't enough. "I don't know what you're talking about, Kyo." I decided to leave it alone. For now, at least. I was way to tired to be wondering what the fuck was going on, so I just chewed and swallowed my food in peace. I finally finished the plates upon plated of prepared food. "Thanks for the food, Aya. Hey, it's alright if I sleep with you, right?"
She shivered when I spoke. "I don't think that's such a great idea, Kyo. I think you should leave." She ordered bluntly. The change in mood, from only minutes ago, threw me off more than just a little. I was taken back. "What? Did I do something wrong? If you're just too tired to have sex and you don't want to have to worry about me asking, really, I'm way exhausted anyway, I wouldn't even think of it." I joked. But the serious look on her pretty face grew. "Kyo. I really think you should go." She said firmly. What was going on? She was being so weird! "Oh..." I said, a bit hurt and confused. "Well... I guess... I guess I should hurry before it gets even later...... Um, thanks for everything." I got up, straightening my constricting clothes. She breathed in dryly while mouthing out, as though trying to speak. "You too, Kyo. Thanks for everything." She ultimately said, speaking hoarsly.
I didn't hear from her the next day. Not that it was really noteable, and neither was the day after that, because even though I called her phone and she would not answer, I didn't worry too much about it or even think much of it. The third day, when I called her again, I wondered, but only briefly. But on day four, when I called her for the third time that very day, I started to wonder. I called her every hour on the hour, yet still nothing. A few more days of this went by, and I was seriously starting to worry. So I made my way to her house. I knocked on the door, half-expecting no answer and fidgeted in anticipation, but my heart skipped with hope when I heard distant footsteps from the inside coming toward the door. They were crushed when I saw that the girl who'd answered wasn't Aya. She gave me a questioning look for a brief second or two, then appeared as though something donned on her.
"Oh! You must be Kyo-san! Aya um... told me about you." She said in a stangely undescripable tone. "Oh, is Aya there?" I asked, trying to look past her shoulder and into the house. "No, I'm afraid not. She said she had somewhere to go and asked me to watch her plants. I'm her friend Matsu, by the way. It's nice to meet you." She chimed. It was hard to seem friendly with the worried look that I was straining to pull off of my face. She went somewhere without telling me? I knew I was getting weird feeling from her that night, but... Did I do something wrong? "Oh, okay... um, you too. Do you... know when she'll be back?" I asked a little brokenly. She shook her head. "Sorry, she didn't say." She replied apologetically. I could tell that she too, just like Aya, was hiding something. "Oh, well, thanks anyway." I said as cheerfully as I could, trying to hide the uncertaintity and sadness that threatened to spill from my throat and into my voice.
I drove all the way back home, mind spinning with questions and thoughts, possible answers appearing in the mess of it all occasionally. I didn't even realize I was already at my apartment door until Ichin, who just happened to be stepping outside, caught my attention. I felt relief wash over me. Aside from Shinya and Yune, he was the only one I could ever talk to about the things that hurt me. "Kyo! Wassup?" he asked casually. I smiled in return, a big, sweet, fake smile. But it was no use. He saw through it, just like he always did. That's probably how he got my trust and respect in th first place, there weren't many people who actually saw me. It's always a suprise when anyone understand me. "Uh-oh. What's wrong? And don't give me that 'I'm fine' bullshit, either. That pisses me off when you do that." he commanded. I hung my head. "It's kind of a long story." I said glumly, dropping the smile like a ton of bricks.
"Kyo, I work from home. I have a lots of time. Come on, let's go inside my place. You're going to tell me whether you like it or not." He ordered, pointing inside his apartment. I wasn't hurt by the harsh, stern voice he was using, I knew he was just like that because he cared. I hung my head, walking into his foyer and then finding a place to sit in his living room. He closed the door behind him and sat on the cream colored sofa, parallel to the plush armchair I was in. He looked at me expectantly. "I was thinking... about quiting La Sadies si that I could marry Aya and spend more time with her, y'know, like normal husbands and boyfriends are supposed to." His eyes bulged out. Before he could say a word, I rushed to finish what I started. "Key word being was!" He sighed dramatically. "Oh thank God. I was about to question what little sanity you have left! What changed your mind?" I looked out the window near his balcony ina detatched manner. "I talked to this guy I saw at the live we just did. Actually, I was going to announce my plan to leave the band right after we performed."
"But I was talking with him, and he reminded me that the whole reason I was a vocalist was because I made a promise with myself." He furrowed his eyebrows. "Not seeing the downside here. Did you end up having a one-night stand gone wrong with him?" He joked, lightening the mood. I laughed a little, releasing some tension inside me. "I should have! He was fucking hot!" I joked back. But the smile faded and I looked downward, becoming serious again. "No, that's not it... I was still thinking about marrying Aya after the concert. She came by to pick me up out f nowhere, and when we were in the car, I was thinking about a lot of things, trying to sort everything out." I paused, looking up at Ichin, who nodded for me to continue. "And I kind of... asked her what she'd do if I started talking about the two of us getting married." Ichin raised his eyebrows just a little.
"Oh shit, I think I kinda of get where this is going." he said with empathy. "Yeah. She looked at me like I'd just asked her if I could cut her legs off. I thought it was just because she isn't ready, but the way she acted was different and she kept saying all these weird things... And she would've just told me if the reason she reacted hat way was because she wasn't ready, but instead, she just changed the topic every time I tried to get an answer out of her until I just gave up. I don't know, it just feels ominous, like something bad is about to happen. And she pretty much threw me out of her house, even though she's the one that invited me and I had to get a cab because we took her car... at almost twelve o' clock at night, too." Ichin stared at me attentively as I spoke. Poor bastard, he always was the one to listen to all my shit. I hoped I wasn't whining. "And I haven't heard from her in over a week now... I must've called her hundreds of times already, and she hasn't picked up."
"Did you go to her house?" He advised helpfully. I shook my head. "Yeah but it's no good. The only person there was this girl who said she was friends with Aya. She said that she had left for a little while. Didn't tell me why, how or where, or even how long she'd be gone, just that she wasn't in. Something tells me that she's in on whatever is wrong here though." I looked back down. I felt like crying, but not in front of Ichin. All of the sudden I wished I was alone. "Got any cigarettes?" I asked meekly, only seconds after a silence had blanketed the room. "Forget about cancer sticks... Kyo, I don't know how to say this... but do you think Aya is-" "Cheating?" I finished his question. "It would make sense, but I trust her. I can't just accuse her of that, I have to have a little bit of faith in people... right?" I looked up, false hope literally spilling from my eyes.
Ichin got up quietly. "Kyo..." he said almost inaudlibley. I could hear the hurt in his voice, and it killed me. I hated it when people felt worry and pain for-and because-of me. I felt umwelcome here, I was responsible for the somber look on Ichin's face. He reached for my arm but I shied away and got up, starting to make my way toward the door. "I need to be alone."
~+~+~+~
When I went to the studio the next day on Tuesday, the first thing I did was ask everyone if they'd seen Aya. Everyone said "No." and proceeded to go on with their share of work, busy and thus not really caring. Except Kisaki. "Naw, haven't seen her. Why, did something happen?" he asked, even bothering to set down his bass. I was suprised that his reply was more than one word long. "Yeah, I haven't seen her in days... It's been almost two weeks." Kisaki looked me straight in the eyes, something he didn't really do often. "You've tried calling her and looking around where she works and stuff, obviously. ...Right?" He added the last word to make his sentence a question. I nodded and told him basically everything I told Ichin. Strangely enough, he seemed enwrapped in the subject. "Well, maybe you should check back up on her soon." He offered.
"But like I said, I just dropped by yesterday and she wasn't there." I frowned. "Well, drop by in a few days, maybe she'll be there next time you visit. I'm sure things will work out." Shinya looked at us funny. He came over to where we sat, and Kisaki's face paled. Or maybe it was just me. "Hey Kyo-san. Kisaki-san." Kisaki regained the slight composure that he'd lost. "Aren't you busy with Die and Kaoru?" Shinya shrugged his shoulders in a tiny movement. "He said I should be finished for the day. You and Kyo are the leaders, I guess it really just depends on what you guys say." Kaoru called my over. "Kyo-san! Come here!" I sweat dropped. "Are we? I couldn't tell." I followed Kaoru's command anyway and walked over to where he was, scribbling away while still looking at me. "Yup?" He pulled something out of his pocket. Just a pen, since it appeared the one he was using just ran out.
"Remember that guy, er, Toshiya-san? I forgot, after you left, he came looking for you. He's kind of a strange guy, said something about wanting to see you again, but only if fate allowed it... something like that. Guess he believes in that kinda stuff. He said you were cool even though it was weird that... Um, something about him being in your dreams? And then he said nevermind and ran off all happy saying that he hopes to see us again. I think he has a screw loose... And he's a good bassist, but he sounds a bit stalkerish, saying crap about being in your dreams... Just thought I'd warn you." he said in a kind of tired voice. I remembered that dark haired bassist, but then my mind jolted back to... well, I'm sure you've guessed by now. "Oh, um... okay, I'm going to go home and try calling Aya again." I must've sound really obsessed by now... Oh wait, I was.
A few days passed, and I decided I'd waited long enough to go back to Aya's house. I wasn't sure what to expect... and if she was there, what to say. All I'd done the entire week was talk to Kisaki about Aya while I was supposed to be working. I couldn't get this off my mind. Ichin was busy and I hadn't really heard from him, and I didn't want to distract Shinya while he was trying to work, so Kisaki was the only one I could talk to. And with what had been going on at home, I couldn't bear to call Yune. Besides, I didn't go into detail with my relationships with her anyway, after all, she was my thirteen year old sister. I was thankful that Kisaki talked to me about it. We were on O.K terms, but I felt like I could trust him and be closer to him since he was helping me through this. He kept telling me it would be okay and everything would work out. So I told myself that the entire time I had driven to Aya's house, the entire time I was walking up to her house, the entire time I was knocking on her door and waiting for an answer. I held my breath when I heard the door knob turn.
The door was open. I looked up to see who-or what-was there in the dooway on the other end. I felt confused as I stared at her. "May I help you?"