Intro + fic: Solace
Hello there! You can call me lintu. As usual, I find a new fandom when it's already kinda dead and I ship pairings that are unpopular. Whatever, I still love KyoKao so thinking that maybe there are people checking this comm I bring you a fic I've just writen :)
Let's keep this ship alive!
Character(s)/Pairing(s): Hitachiin Kaoru & Ootori Kyoya (can be read as friendship or pre-slash)
Fandom: Ouran HighSchool Host Club
Word count: 3500 aprox.
Rated: PG-13(?)
*
“I’m bored.” Kaoru announces flopping down unceremoniously onto the red sofa closest to the only other occupant of the Third Music Room. He’s not expecting an answer and he doesn’t get one, except for a hushed humming sound acknowledging him in the space there and the incessant click-click of the older student typing. “You’re boring senpai.” He assures, sighing exaggeratedly and swinging his legs in the air a bit.
“Stop that.” It’s said as a reprimand. “I’m busy here.”
Kaoru moves to sit straight, rolling his eyes (Kyoya is boring!) and reaches for his bag, tired of trying to coax some sort of reaction out of the other, it’s definitely useless so he just may as well do something with his time. He extracts his History book from his bag and scans the room once more until his sight sits comfortably on the pages.
The atmosphere of the usually happy room feels kind of dull - the only sound being their breathing and the typing. Kyoya sits too straight, too tense, hands flying over the keyboard and occasionally writing something on his black notebook that’s resting beside his laptop. Kaoru sometimes wonders what the Ootori is always doing with them, balancing accounts?, researching?, planning everyone’s demise?, what exactly? He then gets a headache and dims the matter not worthy of his time.
Sunlight invades everything inside the Third Music Room and some stripes of red-yellowish light draw nonsensical figures on his book but do wonders for Kyoya’s slender frame, it almost looks like he’s glowing in the afternoon natural illumination. Kaoru forgets about reading and stares. The way Kyoya’s muscles work under the school uniform with every thoughtful move of his body, the way the tie seems so restricting around his neck, the way his hair is too perfect (like the rest of him? a soft voice supplies in his head). Kaoru stares because Kyoya is boring by the Hitachiins’ standard but there’s something that catches your eye and attracts your thoughts towards him.
“Stop that.” Kyoya says again and Kaoru grins.
“Am I distracting you, senpai?” The tone is flirty and suggestive, widening his grin in a mischievous way typical of him.
“Why are you still here Kaoru?” He says instead of answering.
Kaoru wants to be surprised about the fact that Kyoya knows which Hitachiin twin he is. However, lately it hasn’t been so hard to tell them apart, has it? If you spot a lonely Hitachiin twin, chances are he’s Kaoru. Because Hikaru is always around someone else - be it Kaoru himself, but mostly Haruhi or Tamaki. He’s the mature twin so he won’t make a fuss, he won’t admit he’s lonely and somewhat jealous. Kaoru will be the best brother he can, that’s simply how things are meant to be.
“I’m bored.” He confesses sheepishly. This brings Kyoya to a stop and he finally looks up, arching an eyebrow. “You’re boring Kyoya-senpai.” He announces again, closing the book and leaving it somewhere on the polished floor.
“I’m not here to amuse you.” Kaoru mock-pouts. “Those looks don’t work on me.” Kyoya contra-attacks verbally, smiling on his own - a mere move of lips upward enough to make a pretty evil smirk. “Where’s your brother? Or Haruhi? Or anyone else who can keep you company really.”
“Aw, don’t you want to spend time with me?” He whines, throwing himself on the couch dramatically, feigning being hurt.
“Not when I’m busy.” Kyoya clarifies. Kaoru stops immediately, he surely doesn’t mean…? The older student schools his expression and keeps talking. “You haven’t answered. Where’s your brother?” And the vehemence in the words is something Kaoru isn’t used to notice in a silly question like this one - much less when it’s Kyoya the one asking.
“I don’t…” He starts and falters. “Probably with Haruhi, I guess.” He doesn’t mention that where Haruhi is, Tamaki is there too; it feels like pushing his luck too much under the circumstances.
“I see.” Kyoya says neutrally and pushes his glasses up his nose. “So you’re bound to bother me because you’re lonely.”
Kaoru is taken aback by the rash words, his eyes widen in surprise and then he comes to find himself angry and stupidly aggressive because that was too cruel even for the Shadow King. Fuck you too he wants to scream, wishing to just punch Kyoya.
“That’s funny coming from someone who’s lonely too, who’s always alone.” Kaoru replies hastily aiming to sting, leaving the sofa and standing as tall as possible. He’s shorter than the Ootori but he has the advantage that the other is still sitting. Kyoya barely looks at him while he closes the laptop and takes care of his notebook. “Hey!” He screams when Kyoya proceeds to stand up too and walk towards the door.
“That was uncalled for.” The older states tonelessly. Like he means it but it’s a great effort to actually go this far as to express it out loud. “I’m sorry, Kaoru. I didn’t mean to upset you.” Too late, Kaoru thinks. He stays silent instead. “It was just an observation. Besides, you weren’t bothering me.” Kyoya concludes and marches through the door leaving a confused and mad Hitachiin behind.
“Fuck you, Ootori Kyoya!” Kaoru shouts and throws his History book hitting the door making a smack sound that brings a pulsing headache.
*
The cafeteria is suddenly silent, all eyes trained on the members of the Host Club. Kyoya leaves the plate in front of Kaoru, who’s watching him suspiciously. Hikaru takes his hand and squeezes asking mutely what’s going on. Tamaki watches Kyoya’s face trying to read something there - the Ootori gives nothing with his facial expression. And Haruhi, on the other side, is watching intently the piece of cake deposited in front of the young Hitachiin, a whispering arises about how convenient it is that Hani-senpai isn’t here.
“What’s this?” Hikaru asks imitating Kaoru’s tone of voice. Everyone hold their breath for a long second until Kyoya speaks up.
“My apologies.” He replies, his eyes never leaving Kaoru’s. “For what happened the other day, for what I said.” He explains vaguely to give the rest some context. Female students squeal with glee surely imagining something that would never happen. “I don’t particularly feel I was being rude but I understand that it was a sensitive topic for you so I’m apologizing.”
“With food.” Haruhi states the obvious.
“Yes. With food.” Kyoya assures, crossing his arms.
Kaoru looks from the cake to Kyoya and then Tamaki, standing a few steps behind clearly knowing nothing about what Kyoya’s doing. Lastly his eyes land on his brother who’s glowering daggers towards the Shadow King.
“Thank you.” Hikaru grunts and takes a fork to taste the gift. Kyoya doesn’t stop him but he’s obviously exasperated by the older twin’s attitude. He chews loudly and grossly but his eyes soften soon enough. “It’s really good!” He concedes and lifts another fork-full offering it to Haruhi. “Wanna try some?”
Haruhi wants to try some but looks at Kaoru first, asking permission. He nods and smiles at her appreciative hmmm.
“It’s delicious!” She exclaims and even Kyoya has to smile at her childish cheerfulness, so rare on her sometimes.
Tamaki goes into full ‘daddy’ mode and hugs her in an asphyxiant grip babbling about how cute she is which prompts Hikaru to stop his impersonation of Kaoru to try and pry the King of the Host Club away from their female friend. Kaoru wants to groan in frustration (because this has become his usual routine) until Kyoya hands him a clean little fork to try the cake.
It truly is delicious, Kaoru eats a few more bites before smiling at Kyoya who’s still standing beside their table. Hikaru and Tamaki are still tangled in a foolish argument about who’s more of a friend for Haruhi, the girl sitting again to finish her food.
“Thanks.” He mutters while the other students are watching the argument unfold. “And sorry if I overreacted.”
“It’s okay. I’m sorry too.”
Haruhi pretends not to listen, focusing on her rice and occasionally on the other two club members present.
“Mother, tell this devilish twin that our beloved daughter loves me greater!” Tamaki cries out.
“No way! Haruhi prefers us over you anytime Milord!” Hikaru complains, taking Kaoru’s hand to show who he means by ‘us’. Kaoru claims his hands back as soon as Tamaki’s response makes Hikaru release it.
The other three sigh in resignation, without bothering to reply because they’re still arguing and not paying attention to anyone else - not even Haruhi, the object of their affection.
Kyoya sits with them, refusing to waste the whole lunch hour in vain, at least he wants to eat something.
Somehow Haruhi is manhandled again into the fight leaving Kyoya and Kaoru alone in the table. Her eyes beg Kaoru for help. He shrugs and keeps eating the cake, mouthing a weak sorry. Kyoya smiles wickedly once Haruhi’s attention isn’t on them anymore and leans into the younger twin.
“I was about to get you a new History book but I thought that it actually survived its unfortunate encounter with the door.” Kaoru goes pale, fork in mid-air.
“You heard that?” He mumbles nervously, forcing a half smile.
“Oh yes. I also heard you want to fuck me.” Kyoya continues with a straight face, evil smirk broad and accusatory. His cheeks go completely red, and the smile falters as he swallows against the lump in his throat.
“That’s not- not what I…” The younger twin babbles, unable to believe that Kyoya just swore! And in such a manner! He has to know how that sounds!
As sudden as the arguing started, Hikaru stops it in order to observe the scene: his twin blushing like a virginal maid and Kyoya leaning away after obviously whispering something obscene to his little brother. Tamaki and Haruhi follow his sight to find said scene currently displaying on their usual table at the cafeteria.
The female students do a double take and hushed murmuring is heard, some of them can’t even be discreet and simply start to fangirl in loud, shrilling shrieks.
“What are you doing to my little brother?” Hikaru demands, bringing Kaoru closer by a hand on his shoulder.
“What is Mother saying to make such a devilish child blush that way?” Tamaki oh so helpfully adds.
Haruhi blinks, not sure if she’s getting what all the fuss is about.
“I’m not doing anything to your brother, Hikaru. And whatever we were talking about, it was private, Tamaki.”
“You can’t talk in private with Kaoru.” The older Hitachiin proclaims, squishing Kaoru against his chest in a protective hold.
“We just did.” Kyoya declares, re-adjusting his glasses and smiling daringly. Kaoru reddens even more since his mind is really trapped thinking now in innuendos only.
Tamaki gapes like a fish out of water noticing that Kyoya is right and immediately flies to his emo corner (a random corner in the cafeteria really), a tiny fictional gray cloud above his head. Little sobs sound now and then along with barely soundless protests of how the devilish twins ruin everything he loves and how Mother has been corrupted too.
After that, Kaoru knows he didn’t overreact that day in the Third Music Room - not compared to Milord at least.
*
The OH-HO-HO-HO type of maniac laugh precedes Renge. Haruhi knows nothing good can come out when the girl shows up laughing like that but lets her be since she makes a bee-line for Kyoya.
“Look~!” She sing-songs and presents a piece of paper in front of Kyoya. He doesn’t look up from his notebook.
“What is it?”
“You should look for yourself.” It’s her answer, loud and gleeful.
Tamaki and the twins come closer, now intrigued about the paper. Hani, Mori and Haruhi stay on the table while the older student eats happily what’s left of the cakes they served that day to the costumers.
Hikaru and Kaoru lean on Kyoya’s shoulder on each side to take a better look with Tamaki straining his neck to watch from above Kyoya’s head and in between the twin’s. The Shadow King tries to shake them off to no avail.
“Is that me and Kyoya-senpai?!” Hikaru yells scandalized catching the attention of the other members. Haruhi and Hani share a look and decide to investigate too, walking towards them, Mori in tow.
“Yes!” Renge answers too cheerful. “Well, no.” She says then. “Maybe.” Comes at last while she’s examining the Hitachiin before her. “It’s Kyoya-sama and Kaoru.” She finally explains. Kaoru cringes and moves away from Kyoya’s side.
The piece of paper, everyone see it now, is a pretty anatomically accurate black and white drawing showing a Hitachiin (Kaoru apparently) sitting on Kyoya’s lap, both eating cake contently gazing into each other’s eyes. A few hearts are above their heads and in the left corner there’s a little signature obviously made by the artist.
“What’s this?” Kyoya tries again, this time looking at the paper. Renge grins making Kaoru and Haruhi uncomfortable. If anyone else is it too, they don’t show it.
“A new pairing has been born in the hearts and minds of many of your lovely princesses.” She claims. Kyoya raises an eyebrow, clearly unamused but allows her to go on. “Girls are completely in love with the idea of a cool Kyoya-sama making a submissive Hitachiin Kaoru squirm under the intensity of his love!”
Kaoru indeed squirms but not exactly for that reason.
“WHAT?!” Hikaru is not amused either.
“Ever since you gave Kaoru that cake, girls have been proclaiming how cute you two are together.” Renge continues as if Hikaru hasn’t just screamed in her face. Kaoru flushes because now Kyoya looks at the drawing like he’s dissecting it, thinking about all the profit they could make if they actually indulged in this delusion.
“No.” Kaoru says, shaking his head. “No way.”
“Of course not!” Hikaru adds, dodging everyone to stand beside his twin, protective and pissed off. “It’ll ruin our brotherly love act!” It’s his motive.
Tamaki looks torn before whispering “But if the princesses want it…”
“Exactly!” Renge says taking Tamaki’s hands on hers, eyes sparkling.
“I have to agree with Hikaru and Kaoru here.” Kyoya speaks, pushing his glasses up his nose. “It will ruin their act and I personally don’t think we can pull an act that will please the costumers without having to invest on it too much to be profitable.”
“Invest… too much?” Renge repeats, uncertain.
“We’d had to practice and rehearse a lot, it wouldn’t come as natural and easy as the brotherly love act Hikaru and Kaoru have now. It would be impractical and not profitable at all.”
Renge sighs defeated and hunches her shoulders, Hikaru smirks triumphantly and Kaoru sighs relieved. Haruhi, Mori and Hani are still kind of in the background with all this.
“Are you sure?” Tamaki asks. “If you want to, I know you could make it work.” He offers, smiling in a surprisingly tender way at Kyoya.
“I’m sure. We can’t make an act out of it.”
Renge turns around to leave and with her, Hani and Mori return to the table they were sitting before she came. Hikaru grins at her back, holding Kaoru close.
“Wait.” Kyoya stops her, Hikaru glares at him instantly knowing this matter isn’t really settled. “I didn’t say we couldn’t use this information you so obediently brought us to our benefit.” He puts on a convincing but fake smile, Renge doesn’t seem to care though. And she comes back bouncing and full of energy. “I said we can’t make an act out of it but I’m sure we can think of something to please the costumers and obtain some profit at the same time.” His glasses shine and Kaoru can feel a shiver running down his spine. “Can you stay too Kaoru?”
“No!” Hikaru protests but the extremely nice smile on Kyoya’s face is telling them that he will hurt them if he doesn’t comply. Kaoru nods stiffly.
“Great. Everyone else can leave now.”
*
In the end, the three of them agree on having some pictures of Kyoya and Kaoru together on the next photo-shoot and maybe having them talk a bit more while costumers are with other hosts. It seems easy and innocent enough to Kaoru so he goes with it. Kyoya seems only worried about the profits, they will supply these simple requests as long as the girls keep demanding Kyoya and Kaoru together - that should wear out sometime in the near future, they have to make profit while they still can.
Renge dances out of the Third Music Room, stars in her eyes and ideas in her mind about what poses and clothes the Host Club should put on for that photo-shoot.
Kaoru feels a bit more at ease now.
“You sure you’re okay with this?” Kyoya inquires, picking up his things and readying to go too.
“Yes, sure. It’s not like we have to make out or anything too crazy. Just stand close to each other, I can do that.” He means it. He’s used to it. He probably could make out with Kyoya too. But it’d be kind of weird after it so he refrains himself to actually go there, stopping this train of thought at once. It wouldn’t end well for him honestly. “Hey senpai.” Kyoya makes a noncommittal sound in response, commanding him to continue. “What happened the other day…” Kaoru starts but is cut off by Kyoya’s look.
“I’ve already apologized.”
“I know. And I appreciate it. Also, the cake was really delicious.” Kyoya nods, the corner of his lips twitching in a suppressed smile. “Just wanted to say sorry too. What I said to you wasn’t nice either.” Kaoru scratches the nape of his neck, trying to sound honest but not like he’s pitying the other one.
Seriously how could he? Considering he’s the one feeling lonely lately. He’s the one who claims to be mature and then finds himself reaching for Hikaru when his brother has already gone with Haruhi and Tamaki somewhere else. Maybe he thought he was moving forward, growing but he’s not. He feels even smaller now.
“No.” Kyoya effectively breaks his internal monologue. “I’m the one who’s sorry. Your words were only defensive, I attacked something dear to you - like I said, it was a sensitive topic and I didn’t consider my words before speaking.”
“I’m not really that fragile, senpai.” His tone dares Kyoya to disprove him.
“Me neither. I’m not delicate nor frail.”
Oh.
Kaoru looks down, suddenly his shoes are kind of interesting. He wiggles his toes and attempts to imagine them moving as if he doesn’t have footwear on. He hears steps and thinks of Kyoya leaving him here again, words stuck in his throat. However, he sees another pair of shoes in his line of vision.
“Are you lonely senpai?” He asks in a whisper.
“Sometimes.” It’s the honest answer. Kaoru wasn’t expecting honesty of all things so he forces himself to look at the older student. Kyoya isn’t showing any emotion but his eyes are tiredly open and easy to read despite his menacing straight body posture. “It must be hard for you too.” This time it’s measured, words slowly leaving his mouth in a conciliatory way.
It must be harder for you. Because I’m used to being alone by now. Because I didn’t grow up in a world just for two that now it’s empty. Because losing the most important person in your life is new to you. Because you’re not especially fragile but I’m still stronger when it comes to this. Kyoya doesn’t say any of this but it hangs there in the quiet air between them. It’s written all over his face and Kaoru feels his heart start to ache.
He wants to cry.
“It is.” He recognizes, looking at everything but his face. Kyoya nods, understanding that Kaoru just knows all of this too.
“I’m sorry.”
Kaoru’s throat is too dry to grace the other with a reply, and if he tries he probably will end up ugly-crying. Swallowing against the urge to sob until his eyes can’t shed anymore tears, he shakes his head helplessly praying for his senpai to drop the issue.
Kyoya sighs tiredly and wraps his arms around Kaoru, bringing him closer.
“Wha-?” Kaoru squeaks undignified, a few tears finally falling from his golden eyes.
“I don’t do comforting hugs. I don’t do hugs at all. So be grateful.”
Kaoru wants to tease Kyoya about this. Or maybe play some practical joke on him now that his defenses are low. Or hit him and shout because he’s touching him and it feels too intimate to be a simple hug. He wants to tell Kyoya to fuck off once and for all.
Instead, he limply succumbs to his feelings and cries his heart out, pressing his face into the crook of Kyoya’s neck repeating again and again how awful it is to feel this lonely and how sorry he is that someone like Kyoya feels it too.