Title: What Do You Wear to Bed?
Author: Mori
Rating: PG-13ish
Pairing: mild Yuuri/Gwen, Conrad, and Wolf
Genre: Humor-esque
Chapter: One-shot
Comments: Wolfram takes Yuuri on a tour of the bedrooms to see what Greta, Conrad, Gwendal, and Gunter wear to bed.
Wolfram rolled over so that he was facing Yuuri. Their time alone recently had been pushed to bedtime, so he wanted to play, not sleep. Well, he didn't exactly want to play in the childish sense of the word, but he felt that was the only way that Yuuri would actually want to spend time with him. His fluffy pink nightie twisted a little around his shoulders, but he ignored it and poked the dark haired boy. “Hey.”
Yuuri hadn’t fallen asleep yet. Actually, he had been lying on his side watching clouds pass in front of the moon and thinking about the next day. Lately there had been nothing but piles of papers to sign and loads of books to read. Nothing fun like finding dragons or chasing after another box. At the blond’s touch, he turned a little, and then moved so that he was facing his fiance. “What?”
“What are you doing?”
“I was sleeping,” Yuuri replied a little grumpily.
“No you weren’t,” scoffed the blond, rolling his eyes. “You weren’t breathing like someone who was asleep.”
Yuuri grumbled a little. “So what do you want?”
“I’m bored.”
The demon king propped himself up on his elbows and sighed heavily. “You’re usually the one who falls asleep right away. What’s wrong this time?”
Wolfram shrugged. “Can’t sleep. Bored. I wanna do something.” At Yuuri’s rather strained silence, he continued, “Not like that, moron!” He rubbed his nose thoughtfully and then pointed at the door. “Something like spying on my brothers! That’s what I want to do!”
“Well, why don’t you just go, then?” Yuuri said smartly and flopped face-first onto his pillow.
“Because I’m BORED,” Wolfram said by way of explanation. He stretched his arms out smacking Yuuri’s back.
“Aahh... just get out of here...” Yuuri groaned. “You’re making me lose sleep!”
Wolfram was silent for a minute, and, until he spoke, Yuuri was almost sure he was asleep. And then, from the pillow next to him, a quiet voice spoke up. “I bet you don’t know what Gwen wears to bed.”
The sound of breathing stopped from the Maou’s side of the bed.
“What about Conrad? I bet you’ve never seen what he wears to bed.”
Yuuri sat up and stared at his pillow unsure if he was willing to get out of bed.
Wolfram gave the final push. “I heard Gunter wears a bunny hat when he sleeps.”
Almost before the last word had left his mouth, Yuuri was up and putting on a pair of slippers. He usually padded around his own home in bare feet, but Blood Pledge Castle was cold at night, and the stone floors made it even colder.
Wolfram stood up, grinning, and slipped into a bathrobe that was almost as feminine as his nightgown. “I told you it would be fun,” he snickered.
Yuuri cursed under his breath.
The two boys slipped out of their (Yuuri’s) room and shut the door behind them. No guards were at the door, as Wolfram routinely shooed them away in order to have privacy with his fiance. Not that they actually ever did anything... but... just in case...
They padded down the hall, Wolfram in the lead.
As Greta’s room was on the way to where they were headed, Wolf stopped at her door. “Just a minute, I want to... make sure she’s not being attacked.” He shot Yuuri a glare that dared the other boy to make fun of him. When Yuuri said nothing but nodded agreement, the blond pushed her door open quietly. Peeking inside, the two boys saw their “daughter” sprawled out on her fluffy pink cover, fast asleep. Someone (presumably Gwendal) had put cute stuffed cats around her, and one of them bent over the back of her head, appearing to guard the little girl from the night. She looked like a moonbeam that had fallen asleep on a human bed.
Wolfram thought it was darling.
Yuuri noticed something completely different.
“She’s wearing your nightgown!” hissed the Maou.
Wolfram blinked once and then nodded. “Mother insisted that we do. She used to dress me up in nightgowns like hers so that we’d match...” He paused and flushed pink. “I... ah... I think she looks really cute.”
Yuuri wasn’t sure if he wanted to know what kinds of nightgowns those were that Cherrie wore when Wolfram was small. It might make him reluctant to talk to the woman later. She was intimidating as it was, but with some of the outrageous getups that he’d seen her in (how much cleavage are you allowed to show as a Sexy Queen?), he was unsure how “cute” it would be on little Wolfram. But the idea of Wolf being a small boy was definitely cute. He blinked. “Y-yeah she’s... cute.”
Wolfram shut the door quietly and turned to his fiance. “Now you know what Greta wears to bed, too.”
“Just who all are we going to peek in on?” Yuuri asked in a rather dazed whisper.
"Just my brothers."
"But that was Greta!"
"I know that, stupid!"
"I'm not stupid, you prissy boy!"
"Could have fooled me, wimp!"
The conversation deteriorated into mild insults that were thrown back and forth between the boys in stage whispers as they crept down the halls. There was really no need for them to sneak around, but both of them seemed to fall into it quite easily.
Finally after lots of walking and a triumphant victor's smile from Wolfram (he had called Yuuri a self righteous alien-king) they reached a wooden door with some funny looking symbols carved into it.
"Conrad," Wolfram hissed.
"What's that say?" Yuuri asked, pointing to the symbols.
"Don't know. He put them there when I was a little kid. He told me they were magical spells."
"Looks like scribbling to m-"
"Shut up!" Wolfram leaned on the door before carefully turning the doorknob. Not even a faint 'snick' could be heard from the opening latch. He eased the door open and slid inside. Yuuri followed, straining his eyes in the room that was even darker than the hallway.
Wolfram grabbed his arm once they were both in to keep from bumping into each other and making some kind of noise. Yuuri let him do so, seeing the benefits of this instantly- a rather rare thing for the dear but dense Maou. The boys moved in one unit towards the bed. Both of them tried to lighten their breathing in order to be quieter. They didn't need to, however, as Conrad was passed out and snoring like a horse with a cold.
And he was wearing the most darling ensemble.
A blue fluffy top with short sleeves reached just above his belly button. There were bows on the sleeves and soft looking ruffles around the neckline. Around his hips there were a pair of matching blue shorts. Yuuri felt quite sure that the shorts were so tiny that if Conrad rolled over, he'd see the older man's butt hanging out the bottoms. Not that he didn't like the idea. In fact, he was rather encouraged to roll Conrad over himself and see if it was true.
A tug on his hand indicated that Wolfram was ready to go.
Reluctantly, Yuuri followed but continued to turn around and stare at Conrad until Wolfram yanked him through the door and shut it as quietly as he had opened it.
"He only snores when he sleeps at home," Wolfram whispered casually. Then his eyes arched and his lips curled in a half smile. "What did you think of his choice of nightwear?"
"Very... ah... educational," was all that Yuuri could manage.
"Educational?! He's still wearing last year's fashions!" Wolfram snorted and dropped Yuuri's arm. "Come on, let's see Gwendal. At least he's wearing the full sheath now."
"Sheath?"
"Like this," Wolf gestured to his own garments.
"Uhh..."
The blond rolled his eyes. "Conrad was wearing two pieces. I'm wearing one piece."
"Oooohhhh..."
By the time they reached Gwendal's dark green wooden door, Yuuri had gotten an earful of Wolfram's criticisms on how Yuuri should pay attention to the changing styles. It was important, the blond said, to understand the people by understanding how they dressed.
The same door-opening procedure was followed, and the boys entered- Yuuri's arm again clasped in Wolfram's tight grip.
This time, there was no snoring. Gwendal's chest rose and fell as he breathed quietly but heavily. He was crowded onto the bed with roughly fifty knitted animals including a duck-looking thing that peeked out from under his arm. But that did not surprise Yuuri or even attract his attention.
He was drawn instead to look at the lacy yellow nightgown that Gwendal was wearing. It was fully as transparent and frilly as Wolfram's own. However, on a man in his prime (complete with hairy legs and indecent posture) it was quite a different picture. Yuuri found himself stuffing his hand into his mouth to stifle laughter. But just as he was moving to do that, he caught sight of a considerable bulge under the nightgown. His laughter died, and he was faced with quite a different problem.
Yuuri squirmed a little, not sure of why he was reacting in such a way to Gwendal of all people. Gwendal and Gwendal's huge-
Fortunately/Unfortunately, Wolfram tugged him to the door again.
As they reached the faint hallway light, Yuuri tried desperately to think of completely unsexy things. Kohi. Belal in a thong. Morgif. That did it. By the time they stood outside the room, the problem had vanished. Yuuri breathed a little sigh of relief as Wolfram made sure the door was secure.
"Is something wrong?" Wolfram asked, eyeing his fiance's face.
"No, just... let's go on."
With a searching look, Yuuri's "guide" turned and led him without another word.
By this time, Yuuri was a little disappointed that their pajama escapade was going to end so soon. It had been rather amusing and a little tantalizing so far. He wondered what he would look like in the fashionable nightwear. Probably pretty dumb. Especially if the "true" Maou came out at night. Heh. He smothered a giggle as he trotted along behind Wolfram.
Suddenly, the blond tripped and landed flat on his face with a muffled squeak.
"Wolfram?" Yuuri dropped down beside him, wide eyed. "You okay?"
The other boy looked up, his nose red from slamming into the floor and a couple of unavoidable tears welling up in his eyes. His robe slid off one shoulder, exposing the soft white skin underneath. He looked absolutely pathetic and completely adorable.
Yuuri smiled softly. Maybe there was something in these nightgowns.
"Are you laughing at me, wimp!" snapped Wolfram, jumping to his feet.
"No, I was-"
"You're such a moron." The prince swept away in a huff, leaving the Maou to follow him.
Before Yuuri could protest any further, they reached Gunter's door. It was cracked open, so Wolfram just pushed on it gently and the boys entered.
Half a minute later they both rushed out- eyes wide.
"Did you-"
"Oh my god he-"
"-wear something!"
"-so weird!"
They stared at each other, and then began to laugh softly.
"Well," Yuuri said, almost choking on his laughter. "You said that Gunter wore a bunny hat... but you didn't say that was ALL he wore to bed!"
End