[untitled]
Chapter: one-shot
Pairings: Asagi x Shinya
Band: D & Dir en grey
Rating: PG-13 [character death, suicide]
Summary: Asagi writes some letters to his lost love.
Author's Notes: Originally, Shinya was going to get hit by car on their 3rd anniversary, but I'm glad I changed it.
Dear Shinya,
Well, another year has past without you and I’ve surprisingly made it to the age of 36. I wonder how I could’ve lived this long without you by my side.
I’ll always remember when you made that strawberry shortcake for my 33rd birthday. It was so delicious, even though we made a complete mess with it.
My love, I really wish you were here so we could live out our dreams of growing old together and maybe having a daughter someday. I was waiting for you to reach your thirties so I could propose to you, but I guess things change, ne?
I’ll always love you and I’ll never forget you.
Love,
Asagi
Dear Shinya,
I’m sorry I didn’t come back in the last couple months. The band had a few lives.
Ah, I miss talking to you about music. You were such an amazing drummer and playing the piano with you was like a enchanting dream. I also miss making those unreleased duets, where they were so truthful, intimate, and raw. It was the greatest thing I ever heard between two composers.
If only I could see your gorgeous face again, patiently waiting for me in my dressing room or being so exhausted after making powerful beats to your fans as I hand you a bouquet of roses. By the way, I wrote a love song for you. I attached it to this letter. I hope you like it, it was very hard to put together without you. Aishiteru, Shinya.
Love,
Asagi
Dear Shinya,
I came back for you. My family’s really worried about me since I visit you so much, but my love for you is so strong that I can’t let go. I bet if you were here, you’d say the same even though it’d hurt us both.
I wish you were here, sitting under the tree and watching the leaves fall. I remember us looking at Miyu jump in the pile of brown, yellow, and red leaves in our backyard. Those were the days, ne?
It was so beautiful being with you. My arm around your shoulders and your body moving closer to mine; it makes me want to stay here longer, but I’ll probably end up crying again. I miss you, Shinya!
Love,
Asagi
Dear Shinya,
I went Christmas shopping today and I saw the prettiest diamond necklace in the window. I really wanted to buy it just for you, you know I would.
Well, I didn’t get much shopping done after that. I felt like crying again and you know how much I hate showing such a vulnerable expression.
I really wish you were here to comfort me. I miss holding you in my arms and never letting go, but all I can do is be there in your empty presence. I love you, baby.
Love,
Asagi
Dear Shinya,
Merry Christmas and Happy New Year…I bought you a present. It was the necklace I talked about earlier. I wish you could see it and try it on.
I want to apologize about New Years. The band I became very drunk and I think something happened between Hide-Zou-kun and I. I didn’t mean to cheat on you. I could hear you yelling at me for it now. I’ve been so lonely and depressed without you. I think I’m drinking more than I should. Goman nasai.
Love,
Asagi
Shinya, my love,
I picked some roses for your new China vase. It makes everything a little more pleasant and homey. I brought some wine to celebrate Valentine’s. It’s the same wine we drank on our anniversary. I hope you don’t mind me sleeping next to you tonight. Aishiteru.
Love,
Asagi
Happy Birthday, baby~
I’m sorry I’m not in such a good mood today. My doctor prescribed me new medication for my anger and depression. It’s not working very well, maybe because of this alcohol I’ve been buying. I’m kinda glad you’re not here to see me all broken up inside. Please come back to me, Shinya.
Love,
Asagi
Dear Shinya,
I’m sorry I lost all my strength, but I couldn’t imagine living without you another year. So, plan on seeing me in a few minutes. I’m sorry I didn’t take my pills or lay off the alcohol, but it was the only thing I could do to forget how hurt I was inside.
Maybe I shouldn’t have broken those bottles in our kitchen. You decorated it so beautifully. The pastel colors of spring time, the sweet aroma of freshly picked flowers you sat in the corner, and now the dingy tiles with colorlessly liquid consuming our precious memories of us together.
I blame the fucking glass I picked up. It felt so good to feel controlled pain again. I sat there for several hours watching my wrist bleed in slight amazement. And here I am…dying beside you as a drunken mess.
Maybe I’ll make it up to heaven, instead of suffer alone once more in hell. I did this for you, my love. My heart aches for you. I’m starting to feel a little weaker now and my words are becoming blurry.
I hope you’ll kiss me at the front gate like you use to when either of us came home for a long tour. I miss that passion we had. I love you, Shinya…more than life itself.
Love,
Asa -
Pairings: Asagi x Shinya
Band: D & Dir en grey
Rating: PG-13 [character death, suicide]
Summary: Asagi writes some letters to his lost love.
Author's Notes: Originally, Shinya was going to get hit by car on their 3rd anniversary, but I'm glad I changed it.
Dear Shinya,
Well, another year has past without you and I’ve surprisingly made it to the age of 36. I wonder how I could’ve lived this long without you by my side.
I’ll always remember when you made that strawberry shortcake for my 33rd birthday. It was so delicious, even though we made a complete mess with it.
My love, I really wish you were here so we could live out our dreams of growing old together and maybe having a daughter someday. I was waiting for you to reach your thirties so I could propose to you, but I guess things change, ne?
I’ll always love you and I’ll never forget you.
Love,
Asagi
Dear Shinya,
I’m sorry I didn’t come back in the last couple months. The band had a few lives.
Ah, I miss talking to you about music. You were such an amazing drummer and playing the piano with you was like a enchanting dream. I also miss making those unreleased duets, where they were so truthful, intimate, and raw. It was the greatest thing I ever heard between two composers.
If only I could see your gorgeous face again, patiently waiting for me in my dressing room or being so exhausted after making powerful beats to your fans as I hand you a bouquet of roses. By the way, I wrote a love song for you. I attached it to this letter. I hope you like it, it was very hard to put together without you. Aishiteru, Shinya.
Love,
Asagi
Dear Shinya,
I came back for you. My family’s really worried about me since I visit you so much, but my love for you is so strong that I can’t let go. I bet if you were here, you’d say the same even though it’d hurt us both.
I wish you were here, sitting under the tree and watching the leaves fall. I remember us looking at Miyu jump in the pile of brown, yellow, and red leaves in our backyard. Those were the days, ne?
It was so beautiful being with you. My arm around your shoulders and your body moving closer to mine; it makes me want to stay here longer, but I’ll probably end up crying again. I miss you, Shinya!
Love,
Asagi
Dear Shinya,
I went Christmas shopping today and I saw the prettiest diamond necklace in the window. I really wanted to buy it just for you, you know I would.
Well, I didn’t get much shopping done after that. I felt like crying again and you know how much I hate showing such a vulnerable expression.
I really wish you were here to comfort me. I miss holding you in my arms and never letting go, but all I can do is be there in your empty presence. I love you, baby.
Love,
Asagi
Dear Shinya,
Merry Christmas and Happy New Year…I bought you a present. It was the necklace I talked about earlier. I wish you could see it and try it on.
I want to apologize about New Years. The band I became very drunk and I think something happened between Hide-Zou-kun and I. I didn’t mean to cheat on you. I could hear you yelling at me for it now. I’ve been so lonely and depressed without you. I think I’m drinking more than I should. Goman nasai.
Love,
Asagi
Shinya, my love,
I picked some roses for your new China vase. It makes everything a little more pleasant and homey. I brought some wine to celebrate Valentine’s. It’s the same wine we drank on our anniversary. I hope you don’t mind me sleeping next to you tonight. Aishiteru.
Love,
Asagi
Happy Birthday, baby~
I’m sorry I’m not in such a good mood today. My doctor prescribed me new medication for my anger and depression. It’s not working very well, maybe because of this alcohol I’ve been buying. I’m kinda glad you’re not here to see me all broken up inside. Please come back to me, Shinya.
Love,
Asagi
Dear Shinya,
I’m sorry I lost all my strength, but I couldn’t imagine living without you another year. So, plan on seeing me in a few minutes. I’m sorry I didn’t take my pills or lay off the alcohol, but it was the only thing I could do to forget how hurt I was inside.
Maybe I shouldn’t have broken those bottles in our kitchen. You decorated it so beautifully. The pastel colors of spring time, the sweet aroma of freshly picked flowers you sat in the corner, and now the dingy tiles with colorlessly liquid consuming our precious memories of us together.
I blame the fucking glass I picked up. It felt so good to feel controlled pain again. I sat there for several hours watching my wrist bleed in slight amazement. And here I am…dying beside you as a drunken mess.
Maybe I’ll make it up to heaven, instead of suffer alone once more in hell. I did this for you, my love. My heart aches for you. I’m starting to feel a little weaker now and my words are becoming blurry.
I hope you’ll kiss me at the front gate like you use to when either of us came home for a long tour. I miss that passion we had. I love you, Shinya…more than life itself.
Love,
Asa -