[untitled]
Chapter: one-shot
Pairings: Asagi x Shinya
Character: Kaoru
Band: D & Dir en grey
Rating: PG-13
Summary: Shinya's bandmates disapprove his relationship with Asagi, but things don't seem to change between the two lovers.
Author's Notes: This is told in Shinya's POV. I'm a bit uncertain about this one.
It had been nearly two years since they took my love away. It was a horrible sight to see him like that. The anger in his voice, the lust in his eyes, and the faint tremble of fear in his bottom lip. I’ve never seen him breakdown so easily and so hard too.
I didn’t know what to do then but hold onto him until they took him away. I miss the way things used to be. He would wake up with a slight smile on his face as he prepared breakfast every morning. He was a real chef in our home, but he enjoyed catering to me for some reason. He always said it was because he loved me and that I deserved it. Sometimes I thought his words were crazy, but they were usually true. I loved him a lot and I can’t believe we haven’t slept together in two years.
When I woke up this morning, I had the same dream I’ve been having since he went away. The on where me and him sat under the tree at the park and we ate strawberry shortcake, one of his favorite desserts. I remembered glancing at his dark brown eyes, which were usually hidden by red contacts, and noticed that he was watching my lips wrap around the fork, engulfing the delicious treat. I guess he had a thing for lips, but I didn’t mind much. We enjoyed each other’s presence and the feeling that we created when our lips connected ever so perfectly.
Today was going to be different and I assured myself that everything would be alright between us. He loves me and I love him. He wouldn’t harm me like the others…he promised he wouldn’t.
I walked into the secure, brick building and approached the receptionist’s desk, asking what room my love was in. She gave me his number and I followed the security officer and one of the doctors that worked there.
“How is he?” I ask, feeling concern come over me.
“He’s doing a lot better since he came here. We gave him some new medication, so he should be able to go home in a year or two,” the doctor answered, leading me down the quiet, white hallway.
I nodded silently and looked around, feeling slightly uncomfortable yet excited to see his face again.
The doctor paused in front of a door and punched in a code for it to open.
“We’ll let you have an hour, then we have to give him his pills,” the doctor said calmly as he stepped aside to let me in.
I glanced at the doctor and then at the officer nodding. Taking a deep breath, I entered the colorless, padded room and neared the dark haired man sitting on the bed.
The door closed behind me and I watched him scribble away in his notebook as he usually did. His legs straightened on top of the sheets as he put the notebook and pencil aside.
Without looking at me once, he suddenly said, “Shinya…please sit with me.”
I was a little startled to hear his low voice break the silence of the room. I nodded a bit and joined him somewhat cautiously on the bed. Once seated, I looked over at his expressionless face, being slightly hidden by his long black hair.
“Not there,” he said, still not focusing on my face.
I blinked a couple times. “Nani…”
He leaned forward, grabbed my arm gently, and pulled me fully on the bed, forcing me to fall back a little on him. I looked down and noticed the plain white sleeves comfortably wrap themselves around my waist. A sigh escaped my lips as he gently tilted my head to the side, then softly placing small kisses on my neck.
My eyes slowly closed and he continued his gentle touches with his lips. I began to slightly drift to memories of him and I being just like this at home. We were always so close. His arms were wrapped around me tight enough to protect me and say that I was his, but loose enough to trust me never to leave and give me the opportunity to return the silent affection we often shared. I missed experiencing these feelings flow inside me, but I’m glad I forced myself here just to feel his warmth…unfortunately, there was something different today. The warmth of his presence didn’t seem as strong as it usually did. It felt weak and somewhat cold like he was dying inside because of me.
Slowly turning my head to face him, I gradually opened my eyes to see his face. He automatically pulled back, causing more hair to cover his face. I rotated my body fully and stared at him for a brief moment. My hand carefully slipped between his cheek and hair as I gently caressed his skin with my thumb. I pulled it back and pushed his hair away from his face, so at least his left eye was exposed.
We stared at each other for a while, until my mouth confessed to him, “I missed you.”
He stayed in silence and simply looked at me. His lips slowly parted and he responded, almost monotone, “I missed you too.”
My lips formed a sweet smile as I immediately moved towards him and forcefully kissed him in slight desperation.
His actions didn’t seem too surprised as his arms went back around my waist. Our lips finally contacted, but it didn’t seem like anything special like I expected. I didn’t want to give up so soon, I was waiting to feel that spark we had every time we touched.
I deepened the kiss, leaning even more into him. I wasn’t going to give up, I wanted to feel lost inside him. I placed both of my hands on the sides of his face and parted my lips for a moment to breath, but I was caught by surprise.
Finally feeling that control I was searching for, his tongue slipped between my once lonely lips and met mine. The kiss became passionate as he explored my mouth, gradually remembering the warm, wet area. My hand slid down his shoulder and snuck to the back of his clean, white pajamas. I felt the end of the material and rubbed up his bare skin, hidden beneath the fabric.
He slowly pulled away, once my hand reached the center of his back. He lifted his hand, let his fingers stroke my cheek, and placed a gentle kiss on my lips.
“Never again…I promise,” he whispered, staring deeply in my eyes.
I knew he meant it, he always kept his promises.
“I’m sorry I took so long,” I apologized, looking away a bit.
“Please…don’t…”
He softly kissed me again and held me tightly. “I should be sorry for hurting him. I couldn’t control myself and -“
I removed my hand from his shirt and pressed my finger on his lips. “I love you,” I said, silencing him, “No one’s perfect, but we love each other anyway, right?”
He simply nodded and gave me that rare full smile. “I love you, Shinya.”
A tear slid from the corner of my eye as I hugged him, saying softly, “The doctor said that you’ll be released in a year or two. Then, we’ll be back to the way we were before all this happened.” I closed my eyes, causing another tear to fall.
My mind began to drift to the pleasant thoughts of us sitting under the tree at the park and watching Miyu run around the open space. Smiling to myself, I see the two of us coming home from a relaxing walk in our garden and cuddling each other until energy was just right to make passionate love. I sighed contently, getting even more comfortable in my lover’s arms.
Suddenly, someone cleared their throat and I slowly opened an eye to see who it was. He loosened his hold and let me sit up, facing the man in the white lab coats.
“I apologize for interrupting, but it’s time to give him his medication,” the doctor said.
I glanced over at my koi, looked down, and forced myself off the bed. I didn’t want to leave him alone, all broken inside, but I had to. I took a few steps toward the door as the doctor and a nurse entered the room. “I’ll be back next week…I promise,” I said softly.
He gave a slight small and whispered, “Aishiteru…”
A soft smile appeared on my face as a tear slid down my skin. “…Aishiteru yo.”
I turned my back to the group of people, not wanting to see my one and only in pain. It was so hard to leave him without saying that we’d see each other tonight. It seemed like it was a mistake to come here at all, like it made things a little worse for the both of us, but I desperately wanted to see him…to touch him…to kiss him one more time.
As I stepped into my car and started it up, I slowly realized that the radio was playing classic music. I guess I didn’t notice that the station never changed since he was taken away. It reminded me of how he came over to my old apartment and he noticed that I owned a piano. He played so well and we spent several hours making beautiful music together. Now the wooden bench will continue to sit there feeling lonely like its owners, but soon, our fingers shall join in a romantic orchestra, dancing across the ivory keys in perfect harmony.
I soon slowed the vehicle to a stop, pulling into the driveway. I let out a soft sigh, stepped out, and headed for the door. Walking into the silence, I noticed everything was the same. No candles lit in the living room…no spicy aroma coming from the kitchen…no trail of rose petals leading into the bedroom or the bathroom. It was become more depressing each time I walked through this door.
After making myself comfortable and fixing myself a cup of tea, I sat on the sofa and stared at the blank screen of the television, thinking. I can still hear his angry voice yelling at the top of his lungs…and the sound of glass crashing against the beige walls…and then the unpleasant sound of my own bandmate’s body being slammed against the hard surface.
”You’re making a serious mistake, Shin-chan,” the older man convinced, “He’s uncontrollable! What if he hurts you?”
“He promised he wouldn’t -“
“And you believe him!?! Shinya, you have to end this ridiculous relationship immediately.”
“Iie! I love him and he loves me.”
Maybe he’ll understand why I love him so much. I know that my bandmates care about me and want me to be happy, but I can take care of myself. I’m not going to cut off my love for him and I hope they realize that he wants to protect me no matter what.
Don’t tell us to separate, because of my love’s sanity. He only feels the same way I do, a hint of fear that the other would not be pleased. Asagi and I are meant to be, deal with it.
Pairings: Asagi x Shinya
Character: Kaoru
Band: D & Dir en grey
Rating: PG-13
Summary: Shinya's bandmates disapprove his relationship with Asagi, but things don't seem to change between the two lovers.
Author's Notes: This is told in Shinya's POV. I'm a bit uncertain about this one.
It had been nearly two years since they took my love away. It was a horrible sight to see him like that. The anger in his voice, the lust in his eyes, and the faint tremble of fear in his bottom lip. I’ve never seen him breakdown so easily and so hard too.
I didn’t know what to do then but hold onto him until they took him away. I miss the way things used to be. He would wake up with a slight smile on his face as he prepared breakfast every morning. He was a real chef in our home, but he enjoyed catering to me for some reason. He always said it was because he loved me and that I deserved it. Sometimes I thought his words were crazy, but they were usually true. I loved him a lot and I can’t believe we haven’t slept together in two years.
When I woke up this morning, I had the same dream I’ve been having since he went away. The on where me and him sat under the tree at the park and we ate strawberry shortcake, one of his favorite desserts. I remembered glancing at his dark brown eyes, which were usually hidden by red contacts, and noticed that he was watching my lips wrap around the fork, engulfing the delicious treat. I guess he had a thing for lips, but I didn’t mind much. We enjoyed each other’s presence and the feeling that we created when our lips connected ever so perfectly.
Today was going to be different and I assured myself that everything would be alright between us. He loves me and I love him. He wouldn’t harm me like the others…he promised he wouldn’t.
I walked into the secure, brick building and approached the receptionist’s desk, asking what room my love was in. She gave me his number and I followed the security officer and one of the doctors that worked there.
“How is he?” I ask, feeling concern come over me.
“He’s doing a lot better since he came here. We gave him some new medication, so he should be able to go home in a year or two,” the doctor answered, leading me down the quiet, white hallway.
I nodded silently and looked around, feeling slightly uncomfortable yet excited to see his face again.
The doctor paused in front of a door and punched in a code for it to open.
“We’ll let you have an hour, then we have to give him his pills,” the doctor said calmly as he stepped aside to let me in.
I glanced at the doctor and then at the officer nodding. Taking a deep breath, I entered the colorless, padded room and neared the dark haired man sitting on the bed.
The door closed behind me and I watched him scribble away in his notebook as he usually did. His legs straightened on top of the sheets as he put the notebook and pencil aside.
Without looking at me once, he suddenly said, “Shinya…please sit with me.”
I was a little startled to hear his low voice break the silence of the room. I nodded a bit and joined him somewhat cautiously on the bed. Once seated, I looked over at his expressionless face, being slightly hidden by his long black hair.
“Not there,” he said, still not focusing on my face.
I blinked a couple times. “Nani…”
He leaned forward, grabbed my arm gently, and pulled me fully on the bed, forcing me to fall back a little on him. I looked down and noticed the plain white sleeves comfortably wrap themselves around my waist. A sigh escaped my lips as he gently tilted my head to the side, then softly placing small kisses on my neck.
My eyes slowly closed and he continued his gentle touches with his lips. I began to slightly drift to memories of him and I being just like this at home. We were always so close. His arms were wrapped around me tight enough to protect me and say that I was his, but loose enough to trust me never to leave and give me the opportunity to return the silent affection we often shared. I missed experiencing these feelings flow inside me, but I’m glad I forced myself here just to feel his warmth…unfortunately, there was something different today. The warmth of his presence didn’t seem as strong as it usually did. It felt weak and somewhat cold like he was dying inside because of me.
Slowly turning my head to face him, I gradually opened my eyes to see his face. He automatically pulled back, causing more hair to cover his face. I rotated my body fully and stared at him for a brief moment. My hand carefully slipped between his cheek and hair as I gently caressed his skin with my thumb. I pulled it back and pushed his hair away from his face, so at least his left eye was exposed.
We stared at each other for a while, until my mouth confessed to him, “I missed you.”
He stayed in silence and simply looked at me. His lips slowly parted and he responded, almost monotone, “I missed you too.”
My lips formed a sweet smile as I immediately moved towards him and forcefully kissed him in slight desperation.
His actions didn’t seem too surprised as his arms went back around my waist. Our lips finally contacted, but it didn’t seem like anything special like I expected. I didn’t want to give up so soon, I was waiting to feel that spark we had every time we touched.
I deepened the kiss, leaning even more into him. I wasn’t going to give up, I wanted to feel lost inside him. I placed both of my hands on the sides of his face and parted my lips for a moment to breath, but I was caught by surprise.
Finally feeling that control I was searching for, his tongue slipped between my once lonely lips and met mine. The kiss became passionate as he explored my mouth, gradually remembering the warm, wet area. My hand slid down his shoulder and snuck to the back of his clean, white pajamas. I felt the end of the material and rubbed up his bare skin, hidden beneath the fabric.
He slowly pulled away, once my hand reached the center of his back. He lifted his hand, let his fingers stroke my cheek, and placed a gentle kiss on my lips.
“Never again…I promise,” he whispered, staring deeply in my eyes.
I knew he meant it, he always kept his promises.
“I’m sorry I took so long,” I apologized, looking away a bit.
“Please…don’t…”
He softly kissed me again and held me tightly. “I should be sorry for hurting him. I couldn’t control myself and -“
I removed my hand from his shirt and pressed my finger on his lips. “I love you,” I said, silencing him, “No one’s perfect, but we love each other anyway, right?”
He simply nodded and gave me that rare full smile. “I love you, Shinya.”
A tear slid from the corner of my eye as I hugged him, saying softly, “The doctor said that you’ll be released in a year or two. Then, we’ll be back to the way we were before all this happened.” I closed my eyes, causing another tear to fall.
My mind began to drift to the pleasant thoughts of us sitting under the tree at the park and watching Miyu run around the open space. Smiling to myself, I see the two of us coming home from a relaxing walk in our garden and cuddling each other until energy was just right to make passionate love. I sighed contently, getting even more comfortable in my lover’s arms.
Suddenly, someone cleared their throat and I slowly opened an eye to see who it was. He loosened his hold and let me sit up, facing the man in the white lab coats.
“I apologize for interrupting, but it’s time to give him his medication,” the doctor said.
I glanced over at my koi, looked down, and forced myself off the bed. I didn’t want to leave him alone, all broken inside, but I had to. I took a few steps toward the door as the doctor and a nurse entered the room. “I’ll be back next week…I promise,” I said softly.
He gave a slight small and whispered, “Aishiteru…”
A soft smile appeared on my face as a tear slid down my skin. “…Aishiteru yo.”
I turned my back to the group of people, not wanting to see my one and only in pain. It was so hard to leave him without saying that we’d see each other tonight. It seemed like it was a mistake to come here at all, like it made things a little worse for the both of us, but I desperately wanted to see him…to touch him…to kiss him one more time.
As I stepped into my car and started it up, I slowly realized that the radio was playing classic music. I guess I didn’t notice that the station never changed since he was taken away. It reminded me of how he came over to my old apartment and he noticed that I owned a piano. He played so well and we spent several hours making beautiful music together. Now the wooden bench will continue to sit there feeling lonely like its owners, but soon, our fingers shall join in a romantic orchestra, dancing across the ivory keys in perfect harmony.
I soon slowed the vehicle to a stop, pulling into the driveway. I let out a soft sigh, stepped out, and headed for the door. Walking into the silence, I noticed everything was the same. No candles lit in the living room…no spicy aroma coming from the kitchen…no trail of rose petals leading into the bedroom or the bathroom. It was become more depressing each time I walked through this door.
After making myself comfortable and fixing myself a cup of tea, I sat on the sofa and stared at the blank screen of the television, thinking. I can still hear his angry voice yelling at the top of his lungs…and the sound of glass crashing against the beige walls…and then the unpleasant sound of my own bandmate’s body being slammed against the hard surface.
”You’re making a serious mistake, Shin-chan,” the older man convinced, “He’s uncontrollable! What if he hurts you?”
“He promised he wouldn’t -“
“And you believe him!?! Shinya, you have to end this ridiculous relationship immediately.”
“Iie! I love him and he loves me.”
Maybe he’ll understand why I love him so much. I know that my bandmates care about me and want me to be happy, but I can take care of myself. I’m not going to cut off my love for him and I hope they realize that he wants to protect me no matter what.
Don’t tell us to separate, because of my love’s sanity. He only feels the same way I do, a hint of fear that the other would not be pleased. Asagi and I are meant to be, deal with it.