助けて誰か。。。 help me, help me, help me... [MoMusu, "Resonant Blue"]
I put my air conditioner in the window all by myself. Big girl me.
I'm getting some serious cleaning done- you can actually see some floor. Kinda scary.
I wish I were a ghost... then maybe this horrible empty feeling would have some reason behind it, other than that I know how stupid I am and always have been, pinning my life's hopes on something and someone that will never, ever come through.
Barring those times when I've lacked medication, I don't recall the last time I wanted so much to die. But I'd settle for being incurably insane, at this point- the kind where your mind and your body are simply not occupying the same dimension and you think your life is elsewhere/elsewhen, so maybe I could be someone who makes a difference somewhere that needs me, and when I finally run into the street in front of an eighteen-wheeler, it'll be because I'm sacrificing myself to save the land from the dragon, or whatever it is that my insanity will cook up to keep me happy.
It's not fair. It's not FAIR. I can't handle my life and I can't do anything about it, and I'm scared ALL THE TIME. And anything I want is out of reach for as far as I can see...
I'm getting some serious cleaning done- you can actually see some floor. Kinda scary.
I wish I were a ghost... then maybe this horrible empty feeling would have some reason behind it, other than that I know how stupid I am and always have been, pinning my life's hopes on something and someone that will never, ever come through.
Barring those times when I've lacked medication, I don't recall the last time I wanted so much to die. But I'd settle for being incurably insane, at this point- the kind where your mind and your body are simply not occupying the same dimension and you think your life is elsewhere/elsewhen, so maybe I could be someone who makes a difference somewhere that needs me, and when I finally run into the street in front of an eighteen-wheeler, it'll be because I'm sacrificing myself to save the land from the dragon, or whatever it is that my insanity will cook up to keep me happy.
It's not fair. It's not FAIR. I can't handle my life and I can't do anything about it, and I'm scared ALL THE TIME. And anything I want is out of reach for as far as I can see...