I dreamed a dream in time gone by...
OMG last night i was transported back to high school LOL and surprisingly not the horrific scar me for life cost me a fortune in anti depressants high school, one of the few memories that makes me smile.
My first ever serious crush :3 His name was Micheal he had baby blonde hair stunning bright eyes. He was tall maybe a little lanky :P He was a typical skater boy, baggy clothes the just rolled out of bed look we ran in different circles... well when i say that what i mean is he was 2 years older and was in the semi cool skater/yicket group and i was a loner goth girl :P BUT we were actually sort of friend (in fact i found out years later he'd really liked me too)
we would chat together and sometimes he'd sit with me at lunch i remember being at gigs with him and friends.
My heart used to race when i seen him, (here comes the stalker chic moment) i knew when he would pass me in the hallways in between classes and i'd get butterflys before turning the corner knowing i would see him.
I started to get more and more shy around him then came the bad times...
i walked past his friends one day (my head down facing the ground as usual i was unconfident) and they started laughing and making cat calls, feelnng suddenly confident i turned and asked 'what the hell are you laughing at?' i was then jibed at and told i had let Micheal 'SHAG' me out the back of the school.
I was humiliated and heartbroken but i believed him when he said it wasnt him that told them that, his friends werent exactly young gentlmen, and i trully beleived he was different.
There was a fire alarm and i was alone as usual walking out to where my class lined up i saw Micheal walking with a few people from his year including one girl shelly turned saw me and maybe this isnt exactly what was said but i thought she basically said ooh look thats her she looked at me laughed i KNOW i heard 'wee girl' and she curled her arm around his and leaned into him close and walked away, he didnt even turn his head, maybe he was embarressed. I gave up feeling broken.
For years my heart still skipped a beat at his name or seeing him at local gigs.
Years later someone i know would ask him about me and he'd say the words 'she rejected me' which would make me regret that year soooo badly it hurt.
My dream last night was simple i was standing in the lunch line for my fries (which in real life i would have barfed up 5 mins later) i could always see him and his mates from the line and couldnt help my eyes flickering to him constantly :3
In the dream i was with my friend kerrie anne (who in real life i wouldnt have been eating lunch in the caf with, lol we always ate in the art dep) we were planning to go out that night and when i did the walk past him and his mates i felt that old tummy flip i always did feel.
Sucking in my stomach and trying to look thinner and hiding behind my hair as always and sat down... he sat down with me and i felt amazing like i always did when he chose to sit with ME :)
and i was planning to go out with kerrie anne some guys she was talking to and HIM lol this is a fairly big ramble for such a simple dream, but it was such simple happiness in a time when i was a very depressed young girl.
The dream was nice, sometimes i wonder where he is now?? i wish i had a way of finding out, i bet we could have a good laugh about everything that happened now, maybe even be good friends, but alas its probably never going to happen... i hope he's happy, maybe found a girl to love and settled in a good life, he deserves nice things, i may nopt have thought it at times in the blind passion of the moment in school but hes a really good guy, and i wish him the best.