Hurricane
Hey, I suppose everyone is waiting for this hurricane to make it's way thru, but it's taking a little while. We're getting some on and off rain right now, but nothing too crazy yet.
I've been working an awful lot lately, it's pretty insane. I'm always so broke and I feel like I hate my social life at times so I just say to myself, fuck it, just go to work and make some money. I push 35-40 hours a week, but the money just isn't really there to be honest. I'm putting in those hours as opposed to the 20 ish hours they give me...but still it's not really where I want to be and I really want to move out. I should be looking for jobs, but I'm either working or tired or dating or writing or attempting to have a little bit of a social life and I'm pretty tired, I am. I feel like the retail alone is making me feel as if I need emotional rehab, because it's all so stressful. I feel tired all the time, but I sort of just walk it off, you know? I just power through it and grab a vitamin water. I'm starting to see that being an adult isn't about taking a break. However, for the next 3 days I am off.
The Hurricane canceled work Sunday (today) and we still get paid, but I hope to stay safe as I wish and pray for everyone I love, friends and family, near and far; just putting it into the universe. I'm going to try to take it easy. They closed the store early today and that was awesome other than the fact that I lose an hour or so from my pay check. But it doesn't matter, the more you make, the more taxes takes out. Anyone feel me on that one? lol.
There's some movies I wanna see soon. So I hope to relax into that. I love going to the movies on a $6 Tuesday. lol.
We've got some old faces back in town. I'm feeling sort of astranged lately from friends because we're all adults, but it's just a road you have to walk alone, I think. I feel good when I get to see good people whom I love, but it doesn't happen in it's full capacity lately, like when I was younger, but it's alright. I wish it was easy to just get everyone together, but we're all leading these rock and roll lifestyles. I think being an adult is like being a celebrity. I used to think that about adults when I was five. I thought they were so glamorous. I think that still is sort of true, but there's also all the hard work that comes with it. It's a rollercoaster going up and down all the time. The snapshots come out differently throughout the ride. Lol.
I'm feeling like I'm loving the company I get at work. I like going to work sometimes, but it's hard to get out of bed.
What's up with dating? It's hard, but it's still sort of happening when I get the time, but it's pretty stressful. I try not to take it too seriously. It's really hard to be single as well. It's definitely a task to manage. It plays with my sanity, I feel. I think people say love is a battlefield, but being single is the real battlefield. WORD. Hold on to your significant others y'all, trust me, you're blessed to have em. You don't wanna know what being in your mid-twenties and still single is like. lol. The REAL! ha ha.
Ummm, I think I have some date set up for this week...we'll see how that goes...smh. lol.
Okay, yes, the inevitable topic, MUSIC. First I'm mega excited about my favorite member of Girls Aloud releasing her first album next month, Cinderella's Eyes!!!!
Also:
DEV
Demi Lovato (her new single Skyscraper is fucking amazing. Could bring me to tears!)
Ivy (Been a fan since high school. Have all their albums! Gonna get married to their songs)
Cobra Starship
Natalie Kills
My ipod is full, bummer which sucks! I'm so sad about it! I think maybe I should just take stuff off I guess. I don't have money to buy like an 80GB ipod. I wish I did. I like my nano though. They're so small and cute! The big ones suck.
There's nothing else really. Summer is almost over. School is starting back up. I'm in a mad scramble to find a lover to settle down with before the fall and winter. I love fall. I'm going to be 26! I feel like this year was awful. I've made bad choices in my life this year and I regret much of what I've done. I wake up feeling dirty and go to bed feeling the same. I hate myself sometimes and wish I could have a clean slate! I feel like every year that goes by, I want a clean start! I wish life was like a video game, sometimes. You only get so many redo's I guess.
I think that's always my birthday wish...every year...I always just want to be okay, I just want all my sins resolved.
Anyway, tonight I just came home, ate and chilled. I watched a movie. Slums of Beverly Hills. Classic. Natasha Lyonne is amazing. The Zooey Deschannel of the 90's? He he. Something to ponder. lol. I danced around and did the ipod and underwear thing. Always fun and was in dire need!!!!
I hate going to bars and clubs lately. It's getting redundant. I hate it. I just hate seeing people I've dated and their acting too hot to trot because they gotta man now. La di daaaah, you know! It's like, yes I may be jealous, but you don't have to act a certain way. I mean you can be civil. Say hi. Introduce me. "This is my man" and then maybe a "hey, this is my friend" lol. Why is it so hard to be polite and just keep things comfortable.
I'm tired of unrequited love in general. I'm tired of chasing the ones I had a crush on. Smh.
I've been working an awful lot lately, it's pretty insane. I'm always so broke and I feel like I hate my social life at times so I just say to myself, fuck it, just go to work and make some money. I push 35-40 hours a week, but the money just isn't really there to be honest. I'm putting in those hours as opposed to the 20 ish hours they give me...but still it's not really where I want to be and I really want to move out. I should be looking for jobs, but I'm either working or tired or dating or writing or attempting to have a little bit of a social life and I'm pretty tired, I am. I feel like the retail alone is making me feel as if I need emotional rehab, because it's all so stressful. I feel tired all the time, but I sort of just walk it off, you know? I just power through it and grab a vitamin water. I'm starting to see that being an adult isn't about taking a break. However, for the next 3 days I am off.
The Hurricane canceled work Sunday (today) and we still get paid, but I hope to stay safe as I wish and pray for everyone I love, friends and family, near and far; just putting it into the universe. I'm going to try to take it easy. They closed the store early today and that was awesome other than the fact that I lose an hour or so from my pay check. But it doesn't matter, the more you make, the more taxes takes out. Anyone feel me on that one? lol.
There's some movies I wanna see soon. So I hope to relax into that. I love going to the movies on a $6 Tuesday. lol.
We've got some old faces back in town. I'm feeling sort of astranged lately from friends because we're all adults, but it's just a road you have to walk alone, I think. I feel good when I get to see good people whom I love, but it doesn't happen in it's full capacity lately, like when I was younger, but it's alright. I wish it was easy to just get everyone together, but we're all leading these rock and roll lifestyles. I think being an adult is like being a celebrity. I used to think that about adults when I was five. I thought they were so glamorous. I think that still is sort of true, but there's also all the hard work that comes with it. It's a rollercoaster going up and down all the time. The snapshots come out differently throughout the ride. Lol.
I'm feeling like I'm loving the company I get at work. I like going to work sometimes, but it's hard to get out of bed.
What's up with dating? It's hard, but it's still sort of happening when I get the time, but it's pretty stressful. I try not to take it too seriously. It's really hard to be single as well. It's definitely a task to manage. It plays with my sanity, I feel. I think people say love is a battlefield, but being single is the real battlefield. WORD. Hold on to your significant others y'all, trust me, you're blessed to have em. You don't wanna know what being in your mid-twenties and still single is like. lol. The REAL! ha ha.
Ummm, I think I have some date set up for this week...we'll see how that goes...smh. lol.
Okay, yes, the inevitable topic, MUSIC. First I'm mega excited about my favorite member of Girls Aloud releasing her first album next month, Cinderella's Eyes!!!!
Also:
DEV
Demi Lovato (her new single Skyscraper is fucking amazing. Could bring me to tears!)
Ivy (Been a fan since high school. Have all their albums! Gonna get married to their songs)
Cobra Starship
Natalie Kills
My ipod is full, bummer which sucks! I'm so sad about it! I think maybe I should just take stuff off I guess. I don't have money to buy like an 80GB ipod. I wish I did. I like my nano though. They're so small and cute! The big ones suck.
There's nothing else really. Summer is almost over. School is starting back up. I'm in a mad scramble to find a lover to settle down with before the fall and winter. I love fall. I'm going to be 26! I feel like this year was awful. I've made bad choices in my life this year and I regret much of what I've done. I wake up feeling dirty and go to bed feeling the same. I hate myself sometimes and wish I could have a clean slate! I feel like every year that goes by, I want a clean start! I wish life was like a video game, sometimes. You only get so many redo's I guess.
I think that's always my birthday wish...every year...I always just want to be okay, I just want all my sins resolved.
Anyway, tonight I just came home, ate and chilled. I watched a movie. Slums of Beverly Hills. Classic. Natasha Lyonne is amazing. The Zooey Deschannel of the 90's? He he. Something to ponder. lol. I danced around and did the ipod and underwear thing. Always fun and was in dire need!!!!
I hate going to bars and clubs lately. It's getting redundant. I hate it. I just hate seeing people I've dated and their acting too hot to trot because they gotta man now. La di daaaah, you know! It's like, yes I may be jealous, but you don't have to act a certain way. I mean you can be civil. Say hi. Introduce me. "This is my man" and then maybe a "hey, this is my friend" lol. Why is it so hard to be polite and just keep things comfortable.
I'm tired of unrequited love in general. I'm tired of chasing the ones I had a crush on. Smh.