this is my november.
I've been a house bum for approximately two to three weeks, and quite frankly, it's not pleasing. I'm extremely comfortable with my lifestyle, which in theory should be a hectic schedule, given that I'm restarting my thesis and it needs to be finished by December, according to my helpful adviser and cohort. Preparations for the dreaded removals should have also ended by now, and I've yet to open a powerpoint presentation. I also only have lectures for the 3rd exam, so I'm about 3 exams short of learning materials. And enrolment is still a bitch, even if I'm in the State University. Damnit my brain is not working--not for thesis, not for removals, not for enrolment idiocies, hell, not even for writing prompts and fics gah. I still want my 4Tops fic, damnit. Aw heck. Shoot me please.
That the problem is my lack of concentration and motivation is a blatant giveaway. Real life matters, whereas the fandom does not weep and die for the loss of fangirls and boys. I've become a hermit--I don't even go out of the house unless it's Sunday [church], or extremely important missions, my enrolment last Thursday a good example. The comforts of being at home are threateningly weird for me, especially since I know how it feels to live away from home. But the real determining factor behind the death of my social life is my older sister, who selfishly does whatever ever since she had the willpower and conscience. I'm not mad at her, but my love for her does not mean everything she does is right.
Gahhh. Enough word vomit.
I've been revisiting my past and present in music choices. It's enough to claim that I can like my Western Alternative Rock/Pop as much as I would my Backstreet Boys/Westlife/NSync/A1/Blue/Natural/Plus One/Five/Code Red collection. I've listened and adored whiny, sappy music from the 70's and 80's as much as I've put Jesse McCartney's Just so You Know on repeat one in my iTunes. Yesterday was literally One OK Rock [Japanese Indie Band, Moriuchi Takahiro--former NEWS member--on vocals], but today it's Western Rock/Pop from about 5-8 years ago. My incapacity to express myself and my natural tendency to use songs as self-defense amazes me.
My parents dad will come home a day before Christmas. I'm convincing him to spend Christmas in Sta. Cruz, with my mom, unlike the past 8 years. Gee I wish I was more of a selfish brat, at least I wouldn't be deprived of proper emotional upbringing. This is me alone.
Obviously the title is a modification of Linkin' Park's My December, of which a beautiful acoustic rendition can be found here.