Love and Life
So how do you go about finding the person you want to spend the rest of your life with? My father lived below my mother in an apartment building he helped her take up furniture. Such randomness occurs and here I am. What about my future lover?
I want to make sure I'm not being stupid refusing to give up my crush. It's been three years I want something to happen. There has to be a reason that my heart skipped a beat, my pulse quickened when I saw him walk in the door. There has to have been a reason for this summer. The sheer joy and playfulness of 'us'. Does it have to be true love? No. Do I want it to mean something--yes. I want it to mean something to him too. I want there to be something to it--a closeness.
I want SOO much. Anything really. I want to take my moments back, relive them, change them to what they should be. I want the distance in age and physical distance to disappear. I want him not only to invite me to a movie in the gym, or ask me to stay in the computer lab with him, or to have him hover over me, leaning over me, careful not to brush against me, but to have his breath fall on my neck, I want him to say--let's hang out--as just friends, as more than friends. I want some sort of connection that this month has lacked.
He clearly has not missed me or he would have returned an e-mail. The ones he did were forced my circumstance, or my insistance when speaking to his father. Yes he's in angony. Yes he's broken into my dreams. My friends have put added protection to guard my sleep. But I miss him.
I want to make sure I'm not being stupid refusing to give up my crush. It's been three years I want something to happen. There has to be a reason that my heart skipped a beat, my pulse quickened when I saw him walk in the door. There has to have been a reason for this summer. The sheer joy and playfulness of 'us'. Does it have to be true love? No. Do I want it to mean something--yes. I want it to mean something to him too. I want there to be something to it--a closeness.
I want SOO much. Anything really. I want to take my moments back, relive them, change them to what they should be. I want the distance in age and physical distance to disappear. I want him not only to invite me to a movie in the gym, or ask me to stay in the computer lab with him, or to have him hover over me, leaning over me, careful not to brush against me, but to have his breath fall on my neck, I want him to say--let's hang out--as just friends, as more than friends. I want some sort of connection that this month has lacked.
He clearly has not missed me or he would have returned an e-mail. The ones he did were forced my circumstance, or my insistance when speaking to his father. Yes he's in angony. Yes he's broken into my dreams. My friends have put added protection to guard my sleep. But I miss him.