I don't know where to begin, I feel like I`m coming unraveled, losing myself. So many things happening and yet nothing at all if that makes any sense
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You were part of our group and then you stopped seeing that we tease and joke and pick on each other all the time, {every one of us gets teased not just you}, and you suddenly thought we were only picking on you. I know that I have said this before which means you simply chose not to beleive it, which is your right, but you were never singled out above anyone else. Although at the end you started making such a stink about how we were only picking on you, which we were not, and you got teased about that too because all of us knew it was to true. That you will lie just to make people happy has not worked in your favor either. Several of us in the group are very big on being honest even when it hurts. Though maybe part of the reason Damon is so big on the honesty is because sometimes it hurts. Never know with sadists.
But at the end of the day you kicked yourself out of the group not the other way around. I still think of you and I still miss you. I still miss Nick as well. But of us original four it seems that the two of you have changed the most, and I tend to wonder how you ever came to what you have become. I know that Paul misses you as well and wonders the same thing as I do. But even he went down his crooked life path to come back to us.
You will have to lay down the law with your roommate telling him that he needs to clean up his act or you will have to put out an add for a new one, and stick to your guns on it. Explain to him why your friends don't like being around him and that if he wants friends he will have to change that about himself. You explaining how much he stinks reminds me of Nick in High school and Phil when he lived with us. Phil would swear he bathed but if he did he never washed his clothes. Yuck! But to do so is again your choice.
Why don't you go back to school and retrain for something else in computers or catering? I am sure you would more then qualify for grants and loans, and you getting in a better job you can afford to pay off the loans.
You have choices, options but from what I know if you, you tend to put blinders on so you don't have to see them. If you don't see the options then you can continue to be unhappy and sometimes I have thought you like being unhappy. I think this because if you didn't you would do something to get out of the hole you are in. I keep hoping that one day you will become unhappy enough with everything that you will begin digging your way out. I know I had to get unhappy enough with my life to start digging, but it's not the easy way out. There really is no easy way out. The media likes to tell you there is but the media lies about so many things these days what's one more.
Are you going to Nick's anniversary camping this this summer? If so I hope to see you there. I will probably be coming on Sunday with Kit if she gets the night before off from work. When Brian and I get a little further out of the whole financially I will get in touch with you and take you out to lunch or dinner or maybe midnight Sherri's like we used to. I miss that. I miss REALLY talking with you. One of the biggest things that sucks about my life right now is that all of my friends, except Brian, live so far away.
I really do hope that things get better for you, I have always said I wish you to be happy. But I have learned from experience that you can't wait for it to come to you, you have to do the things and make the changes that will lead to your happiness. I know that is probably not what you want to hear, but good advice is not based on what someone wants to hear, it is based on the truth of the matter and I would not tarnish our friendship with anything less then the best I have to offer. I have always tried to give you my best. *tight hugs*
But at the end of the day you kicked yourself out of the group not the other way around. I still think of you and I still miss you. I still miss Nick as well. But of us original four it seems that the two of you have changed the most, and I tend to wonder how you ever came to what you have become. I know that Paul misses you as well and wonders the same thing as I do. But even he went down his crooked life path to come back to us.
You will have to lay down the law with your roommate telling him that he needs to clean up his act or you will have to put out an add for a new one, and stick to your guns on it. Explain to him why your friends don't like being around him and that if he wants friends he will have to change that about himself. You explaining how much he stinks reminds me of Nick in High school and Phil when he lived with us. Phil would swear he bathed but if he did he never washed his clothes. Yuck! But to do so is again your choice.
Why don't you go back to school and retrain for something else in computers or catering? I am sure you would more then qualify for grants and loans, and you getting in a better job you can afford to pay off the loans.
You have choices, options but from what I know if you, you tend to put blinders on so you don't have to see them. If you don't see the options then you can continue to be unhappy and sometimes I have thought you like being unhappy. I think this because if you didn't you would do something to get out of the hole you are in. I keep hoping that one day you will become unhappy enough with everything that you will begin digging your way out. I know I had to get unhappy enough with my life to start digging, but it's not the easy way out. There really is no easy way out. The media likes to tell you there is but the media lies about so many things these days what's one more.
Are you going to Nick's anniversary camping this this summer? If so I hope to see you there. I will probably be coming on Sunday with Kit if she gets the night before off from work. When Brian and I get a little further out of the whole financially I will get in touch with you and take you out to lunch or dinner or maybe midnight Sherri's like we used to. I miss that. I miss REALLY talking with you. One of the biggest things that sucks about my life right now is that all of my friends, except Brian, live so far away.
I really do hope that things get better for you, I have always said I wish you to be happy. But I have learned from experience that you can't wait for it to come to you, you have to do the things and make the changes that will lead to your happiness. I know that is probably not what you want to hear, but good advice is not based on what someone wants to hear, it is based on the truth of the matter and I would not tarnish our friendship with anything less then the best I have to offer. I have always tried to give you my best. *tight hugs*
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