Sep 01, 2004 20:11
ok well heres the scoop. i am no longer welcome in my own home. i have to find somewere to go. i have a temporary home but it wont last. just like everything else in my life. just like my friends and my family i am left alone... alone to face the world. my life did just pass me bye. if there are people that read this than please listen to this... dont fuck with the school, take advantage of it while u can do good go to college and dont party ur life away. i did and while it is fun it is only temporary and when it is all said and done u are left with nothing. the friends u thought u had r all gone and uve failed all of ur classes and theres nothing left to do. i am the only one left my crew is gone and so am i. i am gone in a sense that the life i live is in nothing but chaos and there is no were left to turn. but this is all my fault... the drugs have left my mind a baran wasteland were nothing can grow and everything is dead. those ive loved have gone and those ive considered to be my best of friends have all gone. alone i must say its a great feeling to know that through my paronied and dilusional years of being sceptical and suspisous i am right i will be left alone to die in this overly dramatized and extremly ironic place we call life. but it is not my time to part from this fucked up place. i wish i could be wrong and i wish this werent true but it is. i go unto u people not asking but begging ur forgiveness, i f i have hurt u or wronged u in any way i am truly and deeply sorry. i know not what i do nor what i say. i say thing out of anger and jealousy and wish to make amends while i still can. theres nothing left for me here. the only one that seems like she cares is my sister tina and i love her from the depths of my soul... but i can not protect her any more, the harsh truths of reality are such that if u try and hide and sucseed even for a little period of time than the rality will hit u with such an impact that u ur self will not beable to comprehend the reality from the fiction.i myself can no longer tell the difference between the truth and the false. i lived in this surreal life for so long that i can no longer differantiate between reality and fiction. i wish u all a good and peace filled life and do fuck it up like i did.
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