I beleive geletain is the most envious foodstuff, because it is jelloius.
Hello men and women of cyberspace. Cyberspace gives me visions of some kind of interstellar grid work with sweet comets sailing hither and thither while portly men with neck beards wear nineteen thirties diver suits and velvet capes play Dungeons and Dragons. This vision makes me want to stop internetting for a long ever. How have your various, adventurous ventures been treating you? I hope well.
I have been gone from my interniche for almost two months and it is because I have had nothing of great import or export to type about, which is a weeping shame because I really like to keep you up to date with my updates. I really would like to make up some fantastic tale about being captured by savages on a desert island and slowly lowered into a caldron of bubbling water with carrots and potatoes. Unfortunately there have been no desert islands and even more to my chagrin: no dessert islands. I could really go for some Florida Keys Lime Pie.
Right after Grounded Hog day of ought four I started this little webternet because my good friend Matt Adam's started one and I am ever fond of copying him like a proverbial cat. I started with a full intention of quitting after two months and finding something much better to do, like parasailing or hand gliding or some other X-Treme sport that would more that likely make whole cans of Mountain Dew burst out of my chest and into the faces of my competitors wherein they will open and would totally hardcore pour into my mouth, ergo refreshing me for more competition. Mountain Dew sounds like cold tranquil streams and an oak tree in a lush meadow, flying so far up your ass you'll be whooping coughing up nature for weeks.
Lately, I have been playing a great deal of World of Warcraft because; despite my sleek and small physique I am a rather exorbitantly large nerd. Also, I have to contend with trials and tribulations of higher education. I used "trials and tribulations" to allude to it being very demanding, which is a lie. Like an unindustrious little piglet I have built my straw house on the proverbial Easy Street which is only a block away from Gravy Train Junction and am living comfortably in it; barring any seismic activity or strong winds in the form of hard work or manual labor.
I have a course on the science of the military which is just a fancy pants of way of saying "we shoot guns and run a lot." In that class, and I struggle to call it a class, we have shot M16A2's and ran around the track a lot. This has led me to believe this is all people do in the military. I don't think I am too far from the truth.
I also have a creative writing course, in which I write lousy poetry, because apparently I am bad at being creative.
Ich habe Deutscheklasur und es ist nicht so gut. Ich bin faulisch. (Translation of poor German sentence: I have a German class and it is not so good. I am lazy.) I still just use that class to make vague sexual innuendo. Findest du meine Tasche lecker?
Since Van Halentine's day was over a month ago and I could give you some new happenings with my relationships! I would really like to privy you to the navigational maps that my Love Boat has in it midst, but I haven't chartered any destinations or even set sail yet. My anchor is still down for some lovely lady. I was in the process of getting to know a dame, but it turns out she didn't find what she was looking for in me. I don't know if she was interested in mining me for precious metals or something of that nature, but I am pretty sure the only thing inside of me is squishy organs of the non-musical variety and half digested pasta.
That's it for this month.
Kyle Lee Hufnagel
"The only thing I remember from The Boxcar Children is they made a refrigerator out of the cave behind a waterfall."