I left my pie on the tortoise tank….
… So no Christmas dessert for me. I suppose it saves me a few extra Christmas pounds, probably to the chagrin of my grandmothers who both claim I am lacking in that department. It isn’t like I don’t try or anything. I eat plenty. For breakfast I ate something around 7 cinnamon rolls. Mostly because I was messing with my brother and I was determined to eat every delicious roll my brother selected and placed on his plate (though I did give Jenn one) . It took him 7 tries throughout breakfast before he realized he could not counter my subterfuge; He elected to grab one and stuff the whole thing in his mouth. I win?
People often have trouble understanding the dynamic that exists in our family. Especially at holidays. We talk nasty. Christmas breakfast discussion was kind of like a round robin event. Every had their chance to be singled out and embarassed. For example: When we discussed my mother, we mimed her proposed fisting methods and talked about her love of scissoring. We pointed out Melanie’s whorey attitude towards anyone who might tickle her, labeling her the tickle tramp. We discussed Nate’s family record loss of virginity. You’ll never know what was said about me, so don’t ask. We had so much fun. When I left last night, my mom told me that she always looks forward to the six of us eating together, essentially they are the best parts of her year. But it gets better. I may be the most outwardly dirty person in our group of six, but I am definitely not the winner in our family at large. That honor is split amongst my mother’s sisters. Even when I’m in top form, they are skilled enough to turn me red in a single moment. This is good though. Sterile families can be so boring.
It was a pretty light Christmas from every angle. Nobody has the monies! I purchased presents for everyone from Threadless, but they didn’t arrive till 6pm Christmas Eve, long after my sister and I had tired of waiting and left. They’ll have to be given out later. I did buy myself the most amazing Cerberus hoodie. It is so awesome, albeit a little on the thin side. Whatevs! Jenn and I went and visited with my dad’s side on Christmas eve. St. Nick smiled on us and we did not encounter my father, so the evening was a smashing success. I’ve only met my nephew Jarred 3 times in the course of 8 years, so I spent a while letting him beat me at Madden on the Wii. Christmas day was spent as I discussed before, at my mother’s house. We had plenty of fun. Dinner was spent at my aunt’s and then I left before dessert so I could catch the right bus. Dessert was tagged and bagged for me, but it didn’t make it past the tortoise. Too many hugs and goodbyes. All in all, a very nice Christmas.
As a sort of assistance to my sister, and her Christmas present / payback for Eddie Izzard, I’ve arranged with my sister for the building of a bicycle. She has a boy who runs a bike shop, and well. She’s going to get him to help. so hurrah for that. But mostly importantly, this bicycle relates to a sort of epiphany we had together driving towards Healdsburg. I was telling her how I wish i had a car at times, because all my free time would be well spent camping and hiking. And then she hit me with the bomb: Why not go bike camping? My response was a confused lightbulb sort of exclamation. Is that even possible? How do I do it? Smack the flux capacitor and gun it to 88? Duh! I can’t believe I never before considered using a bicycle to go camping. There are so many great spots in the area. Well, as soon as I get up to speed on bicycle riding, I’m going to do it. Rain or shine!
Merry Christmas everybodies!
Originally published at KyleKyle's Blog. You can comment here or there.