I Guess I'm Just One Of Those People
I finally hung out with Katt yesterday, and of course it was the usual hangout. I ended up giving her a blanket I had bought from D-Tox a while back for a belated birthday, by a month, but I also included it as a homecoming gift, which was three months late, haha. But she loved it, so it's all good.
So today, pretty awesome day. I literally spent all of it sleeping. I tried reading, but I found myself just skipping portions of text hoping to god when I turned the page I would see the next chapter so I could go to sleep. I took a nap, and then I kind of just stayed in my room playing Pokemon Diamond. I preoccupied myself until I got on the computer.
I met my older sister's potential new girlfriend today, she's pretty cool, not gonna lie. She's gotten an okay from everyone in our family. Half of my family is gay, haha.
They've been kind of lovey-dovey with each other this whole time, and when I looked out the window I saw the intertwined fingers. And that's when I kind of crumbled. Now normally I don't care with Public Displays of Affection or PDA. But I have no idea why, lately I'm just forced myself away from it. I guess I've turned into one of those people who gets all freaked out about that. Not to the point where I'll bitch at them, but just get myself away from them.
Where this came from I don't know, maybe I'm jealous? I don't know, I know I've wanted to have someone for like, ever. But I have no clue why I got all worked up over this kind of stuff NOW, as opposed to just always being irritated by it.
I realized I'm a very unhappy person, like REALLY unhappy. I'm just not happy with my life right now, like, I need to fix it. But I have no real willpower to do it. It's one of those things where you know you should do something and you really want to, but waste all your energy thinking about it. And you quickly realize you have no idea where to start, how to start or if you can ever really accomplish it.
So today, pretty awesome day. I literally spent all of it sleeping. I tried reading, but I found myself just skipping portions of text hoping to god when I turned the page I would see the next chapter so I could go to sleep. I took a nap, and then I kind of just stayed in my room playing Pokemon Diamond. I preoccupied myself until I got on the computer.
I met my older sister's potential new girlfriend today, she's pretty cool, not gonna lie. She's gotten an okay from everyone in our family. Half of my family is gay, haha.
They've been kind of lovey-dovey with each other this whole time, and when I looked out the window I saw the intertwined fingers. And that's when I kind of crumbled. Now normally I don't care with Public Displays of Affection or PDA. But I have no idea why, lately I'm just forced myself away from it. I guess I've turned into one of those people who gets all freaked out about that. Not to the point where I'll bitch at them, but just get myself away from them.
Where this came from I don't know, maybe I'm jealous? I don't know, I know I've wanted to have someone for like, ever. But I have no clue why I got all worked up over this kind of stuff NOW, as opposed to just always being irritated by it.
I realized I'm a very unhappy person, like REALLY unhappy. I'm just not happy with my life right now, like, I need to fix it. But I have no real willpower to do it. It's one of those things where you know you should do something and you really want to, but waste all your energy thinking about it. And you quickly realize you have no idea where to start, how to start or if you can ever really accomplish it.