My Sanctuary
Look at me posting in the middle of the morning. This is rare, it's usually at the end of the day.
Unlike most posts, this one's actually kind of positive.
So yesterday, I was getting pretty angry. Found out my little baby Iris is going to get pregnant, not too happy about that, but what can ya do? It's more of a drive to get a job, since I'm going to have to pay for her medical bills. Somehow people decided vets were going to be mega expensive. And of course my cat gets medically injured during the great recession.
But regardless.
I've been writing a lot more, which is unusual. The other day I actually sat down with a fudgsicle in hand and started writing. I wrote four poems, FOUR! Never happens in one sitting, usually it's only two at the most. And I'm not usually proud of my work either, like most people I tend to tell myself I can write better and just have a negative point of view towards it. But I'm not ashamed of those poems, I could gladly run up to anyone and be like
"LOOK WHAT I WROTE :D"
Last night I was sitting in my room watching Sisterhood of Traveling Pants 2, and alright, before you go on about it, my mom rented three movies and the girl at the store accidentally gave my mom the wrong movie. So, in spirit of that, and of course that the other two movies I had no interest in whatsoever, I decided it best to give the movie a viewing. I had already seen the first one since it was the only movie that ever broadcasted over the movie network a few summers ago. Also, I could tell no one else in my house would really want to watch the movie, so I did my best to put it to good use. Now as it turns out the movie was meant to be uplifting, a story about four best friends sticking together, but the movie started to make me upset. These were four best friends, could share everything with each other and all that jazz. Friends like that are not realistic, having a group of four that have survived through the years and still maintain an awesome friendship, but even though it was only movie-based, and totally fake, I was still envious. This is because, I don't really have a group of friends anymore, and not even that, I don't really have much of a best friend either. Best friends you adore with all your heart and want to see all of the time, but my best friend I can only handle in small doses and she irritates me a lot of the time to tell you the truth. So here I was, moping about my lack of friendships in my room watching a chickflick.
But as the movie progressed I started to get uplifted, realizing this movie was just a movie. That the friendship was indeed fake, because it was just Hollywood. And then right after the movie ended, I realized something, an epiphany of sorts.
I love my bedroom.
Okay, now that sounds totally retarded and weird, but it's true. I ended up actually writing some strange little poetic draft of how much I actually love my bedroom. How I can just lie there curled in my favourite blanket, watch a movie with candles burning, sipping hot chocolate and just rest on my pillow. I don't know, for some reason I realized that my room is my sanctuary. Whenever I'm feeling upset I can repeat this routine and start to feel better. Strange how a room can uplift me.
I'm feeling saucy. Kind of like nothing's going to bring me down today. I have no idea, I just feel so fucking happy today. Found out I can get my favourite show of all time on DVD if I just show some initiative and finally get a job. Yes, I now am considering actually putting forth a massive effort and handing out resumes like crazy, so I can get a job. I think once I get a job that things will just start to work a little more to my advantage.
I really want to see my best friend, I miss having someone I can just sit there with and say anything that pops into my mind. Sure, she annoys me sometimes, but I've been trying to hangout with her since like, last week and we haven't.
Fuck these summer blues, seriously, I'm a lot better off than some people, even though I definitely have some factors of that equation missing. What equation? The equation of life really. Some things are missing from my life that others have, but I have something they don't.
My own little sanctuary :]
And this fucking awesome undeniable spirit :D
Unlike most posts, this one's actually kind of positive.
So yesterday, I was getting pretty angry. Found out my little baby Iris is going to get pregnant, not too happy about that, but what can ya do? It's more of a drive to get a job, since I'm going to have to pay for her medical bills. Somehow people decided vets were going to be mega expensive. And of course my cat gets medically injured during the great recession.
But regardless.
I've been writing a lot more, which is unusual. The other day I actually sat down with a fudgsicle in hand and started writing. I wrote four poems, FOUR! Never happens in one sitting, usually it's only two at the most. And I'm not usually proud of my work either, like most people I tend to tell myself I can write better and just have a negative point of view towards it. But I'm not ashamed of those poems, I could gladly run up to anyone and be like
"LOOK WHAT I WROTE :D"
Last night I was sitting in my room watching Sisterhood of Traveling Pants 2, and alright, before you go on about it, my mom rented three movies and the girl at the store accidentally gave my mom the wrong movie. So, in spirit of that, and of course that the other two movies I had no interest in whatsoever, I decided it best to give the movie a viewing. I had already seen the first one since it was the only movie that ever broadcasted over the movie network a few summers ago. Also, I could tell no one else in my house would really want to watch the movie, so I did my best to put it to good use. Now as it turns out the movie was meant to be uplifting, a story about four best friends sticking together, but the movie started to make me upset. These were four best friends, could share everything with each other and all that jazz. Friends like that are not realistic, having a group of four that have survived through the years and still maintain an awesome friendship, but even though it was only movie-based, and totally fake, I was still envious. This is because, I don't really have a group of friends anymore, and not even that, I don't really have much of a best friend either. Best friends you adore with all your heart and want to see all of the time, but my best friend I can only handle in small doses and she irritates me a lot of the time to tell you the truth. So here I was, moping about my lack of friendships in my room watching a chickflick.
But as the movie progressed I started to get uplifted, realizing this movie was just a movie. That the friendship was indeed fake, because it was just Hollywood. And then right after the movie ended, I realized something, an epiphany of sorts.
I love my bedroom.
Okay, now that sounds totally retarded and weird, but it's true. I ended up actually writing some strange little poetic draft of how much I actually love my bedroom. How I can just lie there curled in my favourite blanket, watch a movie with candles burning, sipping hot chocolate and just rest on my pillow. I don't know, for some reason I realized that my room is my sanctuary. Whenever I'm feeling upset I can repeat this routine and start to feel better. Strange how a room can uplift me.
I'm feeling saucy. Kind of like nothing's going to bring me down today. I have no idea, I just feel so fucking happy today. Found out I can get my favourite show of all time on DVD if I just show some initiative and finally get a job. Yes, I now am considering actually putting forth a massive effort and handing out resumes like crazy, so I can get a job. I think once I get a job that things will just start to work a little more to my advantage.
I really want to see my best friend, I miss having someone I can just sit there with and say anything that pops into my mind. Sure, she annoys me sometimes, but I've been trying to hangout with her since like, last week and we haven't.
Fuck these summer blues, seriously, I'm a lot better off than some people, even though I definitely have some factors of that equation missing. What equation? The equation of life really. Some things are missing from my life that others have, but I have something they don't.
My own little sanctuary :]
And this fucking awesome undeniable spirit :D