Dude, I got fat.

[kylecassidy]

WTF dude, I got fat

Trillian and I went to an event where she was promoting a new play and a few days later, someone sent us some photos. Being behind the camera you rarely see yourself and when I opened the email, there was no denying it ... somehow since the last time I'd frozen the mental picture of how I looked, I got fat.

Comments

[ysobelle]

I think what I have to get down to first is facing why I'm on such a self-destructive path. I think that might be as hard for me as getting my ass to the gym.

[scarletwildfire]

That's also kinda where I'm at. I *want* to be healthy. I've *tried* to be healthy. But I go back to the stupidity of not paying a lick of attention and stuffing my face for sympathy time and time again. Lots of people can tell me I have to create better habits when I hit triggers, but until I *really* dig in and get to the root of it, it doesn't mean much.

It took me 5 tries to give up smoking for good. Once I even quit for 3 years and then went back. But it's been 3+ years this time and I'm not going back and knew I wasn't from the day I finally said "no" and meant it. I admit I turned to food to plug that gap too and that hasn't helped my already poor habits.

I feel shame. I see pictures and feel despair. And yet, it's still not enough for me to get off my ass and do something about it. The bf and I have been talking about this a lot lately. He's in the same boat as me. I think that having that support network and getting on the path with someone else in the same place and time would help me greatly. It's gotta be

[kylecassidy]

The support network and a gym buddy are huge things. The numbers really helped me too, charting things. But wanting it to happen, for me, was really the only thing that was going to make it happen. Having someone supportive, and access to a gym ... that makes it sustainable, for me. That first step is the biggest one -- but it gets easier after that. Let me know how it goes. Hugs & well wishes & encouragement from me & everyone here.

[scarletwildfire]

Thanks a bunch. I am also an analyzer so tracking such things helps me stick to them. (Being from the business world one of my mantras is: things that aren't measured aren't managed.) I used an app called MyFitnessPal the last time and that helped, of course - until I stopped using it.

I just need to lay out the plan and get from the "plan" phase to the "act" phase cuz until then I'm just feeling sorry for myself.

Thank you for the encouragement.

[raven_calder]

Wow...I read this and realized it sounded an awful lot like me. Thank you for sharing.

[scarletwildfire]

You're welcome! Hopefully all this sharing can do us ALl some good. :D

[kylecassidy]

You're up against an entire industry of very smart people whose job it is to make people
want to eat more and want to eat more unhealthy food -- I think "self destructive" isnt the thing as much as people hired by restaurants saying "let's deep fry this" - I see now that it's nearly impossible to eat out and eat well. Anyone who tries is facing off against an enormous industry of scientists tasked with making food desirable. And they do that with fat and sugar. And huge portions. We all start from a difficult position.

[rayvyn2k]

Don't forget salt! OMG, the salt. Also, something that has really helped me is requesting things at restaurants. I as for smaller servings, fewer fries, a grilled chicken breast with salad and dressing on the side. I bring my own vinegar with me.

Sure, they look at me like I'm nuts, but it's working for me. :)

[ysobelle]

I have nice, low blood pressure, so I don't worry too much about salt. It's ONE less thing about which I can panic.

[ysobelle]

Well, in my case, unfortunately, it's a lot more innate than that. It's something my therapist and I have been talking about a lot lately. Well, for a few years, now. It could be alcohol or drugs or chicken juggling, but it was gonna be something. I have a lot of untangling to do-- this year's made it all a fuck of a lot worse. I'm at some kind of a turning point, I know that.

I wholly agree with you that we live in a culture that celebrates unhealthy living unless there's money to be made elsewise. Actually, they're playing both sides of the issue, so the consumer's set up to lose. I think there ARE places one can eat out with like-minded people, especially in West Philly.

[trishalynn]

My therapist and I had been working on this self-destructive thing for years and then I had to stop seeing him due to finances. I hope that when my raise comes in at the beginning of the new year, I can afford to see a therapist again to address this issue.

Best of luck to you as well!