why must all things end up bad?

[kykym]

i can't believe that something that ridiculously dramatic just happened. it's like the dorms will NEVER just disappear. maybe it was my choice of words, but deep down, i know it wasn't. what's even crazier, is that i'll dwell on this. and i think it's not so much the event that kills us so much, it's the days and days we spend looking at the situation, reevaluating, reconsidering, and regretting the decisions we've made. ever notice that when something bad happens, big or small, all that comes back to you is any prior event that made you upset? as if thinking of the terrible things might ease the current one, but in reality it just makes you hate yourself more.

i have a lot of regret to deal with. eating away at me like a stomach cramp. i shouldn't be upset, but i am.

times like these i wish i was so in touch with religion that i could make some sort of sense of this. maybe with faith.