{FANFICTION} Tomorrow's Way (Chapter 17)
TITLE: Tomorrow's Way (Chapter 17)
PAIRING: PiDa (Yamashita Tomohisa/Ueda Tatsuya), some RyoDa, Akame.
RATING: PG (swearing)
SUMMARY: Ueda Tatsuya was nothing. Nothing, until Yamashita Tomohisa helped him fit in. He found him a band; he found him friends. This is the story of their rise to the top - the music, the troubles faced, the bonds formed.
GENRE: Fluff, maybe a little angst, romance. AU.
DISCLAIMER: Do not own. I don't even own the title - it belongs to YUI.
A/N: First multichapter fic~
It was as if everything moved in slow-motion. Ueda rode the train to the hospital in a daze, finding himself walking down the corridors as if his legs didn't even belong to him anymore. He saw Kamenashi with his hands over his mouth, shoulders shaking as he sobbed against Jin's chest. Jin himself had his head resting ontop of Kamenashi's, sniffling softly as his hands ran up and down the others' back. He kept walking down the hall, barely meeting Jin's eyes as he walked. He paused, and looked around blindly, feeling empty.
Ueda reached Koki's room. Nishikido was standing outside of it, just staring at the handle. He turned slightly as he felt Ueda's hand on his elbow, looking at him with lost eyes. A tear fell down, and Ueda pulled him in, wrapping his arms around him and holding him as he cried. Ueda himself felt his own tears on his face, looking up as he heard another sniffle.
Kato sat on some chairs a little way off, elbows resting upon his knees as he held back tears. He looked up as he felt Ueda's stare, and Ueda held out one arm. The younger man stood up slowly, and walked forward into his embrace, arms going around both he and Nishikido.
It was surreal, standing there, knowing that your friends' body lay just beyond that closed door. That Koki's body lay there.
His knees suddenly gave out, and the three of them crashed to the floor, still clutching onto one another. As Nishikido's tears wet his neck, and Kato hung his head between them, sobs racking his body, all Ueda could do was stare blankly at the top of Nishikido's head. He knew tears were falling down his face, for Kato reached up soon after and wiped some away, but he didn't know what he was feeling.
Ueda felt... empty. Lost.
He wanted Yamashita. He wanted his arms around him, telling him that everything would be alright. He needed that warm embrace. But he knew it wasn't coming.
He would never hear Koki say 'little Ueda' again. Never see that beautiful smile of his that lit up his entire face and crinkled up his eyes.
Koki was dead.
>>><<<
The funeral was held that week. Dressed in smart black suits, the four of them arrived at eleven o'clock, and now stood in the shadow cast by the grand church. People filed into the church, buffeting them but they didn't care. The church itself was large, made of sandstone which was worn with age, and had small plants growing out of the cracks in it's structure. Beautiful stained glass panels reflected the light, throwing numerous colours over the gravel of the carpark.
The people inside the church stood as slow, beautiful music started playing. The large, wooden doors were opened and sunlight filtered in. Four men slowly made their way into the church, a large coffin on their shoulders as they walked. The four were bereft of tears for the sadness had transformed, settling into a state of disbelief. But they walked surely and with the utmost respect for the precious person they carried, each running through memories too numerous to count in their minds.
Kamenashi thought of the time that Koki had celebrated with him in high school, when he had finally been accepted onto the baseball team. Koki had immediately stood on the nearest desk, and shouted it out to the people around them. Koki had always been noisy, but they loved him for it. Afterwards, Koki had treated him to a bowl of ramen, realising too late that he didn't have enough money for it and making Kamenashi pay. He had paid him back, three weeks later, after selling his own collection of baseball magazines.
Jin thought of the time that Koki had practically leant out of the window of Jin's car, screeching at him to stop because there was a box at the side of the road. He had dashed out, coming back soaked with rain and holding the soggy cardboard box as if it were the most precious thing in the world and with the biggest smile on his face. Jin remembered peering into it, laughing softly when he saw three tiny, bedraggled puppies looking up at him with their tails wagging.
Nishikido thought of the time that Koki had leapt to his defence, one day in primary school. They hadn't been particularly close, but a group of boys had surrounded him, pulling at his shirt and taunting him, mocking him for his small stature. Koki had come to his rescue, throwing the boys off him, and asking if he was alright. Nishikido remembered being stunned that someone had helped him, quickly thanking him and rushing off. From then on, the two had been friends.
Ueda thought of the time that Koki led him up to the roof of the hospital, dressed in his hospital gown. He thought of the time that Koki had made Eri her dog house; the time that he had squealed over Thumper; the time that he had welcomed him into the band.
Each thought of the beautiful smile they would never see again.
>>><<<
After the funeral was the burial. Set in a beautiful green graveyard, Koki's final resting place was at the end of a long line of headstones, his own looking new compared to the others' worn faces. With golden, cursive writing, it proclaimed his name, when he died, and a message from his parents. "Forever in our hearts".
As Ueda stood next to Nishikido, hands clasped infront of him and watching the casket disappear out of sight into the ground, he sighed, clenching his eyes shut. He lifted his head, then, and saw him. His heart stopped beating for a moment.
Yamashita stood apart from everyone else, close but not close enough. He wore a black suit and tie, and held something in his hands. His expression was that Ueda's own - pained. But at that moment, Ueda couldn't bring himself to think any more upon the matter. He was here for Koki, not for himself.
The priest plucked a single white rose from atop Koki's casket before it completely disappeared, handing it to Koki's mother, who accepted it with tears streaming down her face. She clutched it to her chest, eyes clenching shut as she tried to keep the pain at bay. Her husband wound an arm around her shoulders, comforting her though his own tears fell steadily down his weather-worn face.
Ueda felt his own face dampen as he stood there, watching his friend be lowered into the ground. He never would have thought this would have happened. He heard Nishikido sniffle next to him, and he grabbed the edge of Ueda's sleeve, just so Ueda would know that he was there for him.
Ueda lost sight of Yamashita after the burial.
>>><<<
Back at Jin's house, they each tugged their suits off and huddled under warm quilts in the lounge room. They were all quiet, lost in their own thoughts. Kamenashi came back from the kitchen with warm coffees for each of them, and a hot chocolate for Ueda. Ueda thanked him, taking his mug and curling his fingers around it's warmth as he bent his knees up to his chest under the blanket. Nishikido sat next to him, blowing on his coffee. Jin and Kamenashi sat on two armchairs, gingerly sipping their own drinks.
"It was nice," Kamenashi said quietly, interrupting the silence. The others nodded.
"Oh, that reminds me," Jin said, standing up before rummaging around in his discarded jacket pocket. "Pi gave this to me."
Ueda was sure Nishikido could feel him stiffen, but he didn't say anything. "What is it?" Nishikido asked, carefully taking a sip of his steaming coffee. "Ah! It's hot!"
"Well of course it's hot, you imbecile, I just made it!" Kamenashi snapped.
Jin opened his hand to show them what Yamashita had given him - Ueda remembered seeing the other carrying something - and he gasped. It was the necklace that he had given Koki for his birthday.
"Yeah," Jin said. "What should we do with it?"
"Give it to his parents," Kamenashi said immediately. Jin shook his head.
"Pi said that they wanted us to have it."
"How come he had it?" Nishikido asked.
"He came to the hospital after we did. His parents had just collected his belongings, and asked him to bring it to us," Jin explained.
"Oh..."
"But what're we going to do about it?"
They contemplated for a while, throwing ideas to one another. One idea was that they would each keep the charm representing them - but they were at a loss at what to do with Koki's one.
In the end, they tacked the complete necklace to the wall of the shed just behind Koki's drumkit. It hung there, giving them strength, and overseeing their every move. It was only small, but it made them feel as though some of the pain was being taken away; that Koki was still with them somehow.
>>><<<
"How're you feeling?"
"A little better - I mean, it's been almost two weeks already. You?"
"Alright now," Nishikido said, as they lay in the park again. "Hey, that cloud looks like a sheep."
"You think they all look like sheep."
"True," Nishikido chuckled. It was another one of their lazy afternoons, where they just lay there and watched the clouds move and transform across the sky. "Been writing anything new lately?"
"Not at all," Ueda replied, sighing. "Nothing's coming to me."
"It'll be alright. Give it some time."
"I know."
"It's Christmas soon, right?" Nishikido asked, after a moment of silence.
"Yeah. I don't know what I'm gonna get anyone, though."
"Mm." A pause. "What're you doing on Christmas Eve?"
With his eyes still closed, Ueda answered, "Probably nothing. Stay at home with Thumper. Why?"
Another moment of silence passed, until Nishikido sat up, back facing Ueda. "D-do you want to spend it wi-th me?"
"What?" Ueda asked, sitting up. Nishikido turned his head so that Ueda couldn't see his face.
"Do you want to spend your Christmas Eve with me? B-because you're not doing anything, and all."
"Okay."
"Wha-- Really?" Nishikido asked, spinning around to meet Ueda's eyes. Ueda nodded. Nishikido's eyes lit up with happiness, and he smiled widely. Ueda smiled back, and Nishikido collapsed back onto the ground, hands behind his head. "Thanks."
Ueda didn't really know what made him accept the offer to spend his Christmas with the other. Maybe it was because he had started to enjoy his company. Maybe it was because he knew the other still had feelings for him. But all Ueda knew was that he wanted to spend more time with him.
>>><<<
They were called back to the studio that Saturday by Nakamaru. Junno met them in the hallways, throwing them a strange glance before leading them to Nakamaru's office.
"Junno? What's up?" Jin asked the taller man. He just sighed.
"You'll see. How are you guys holding up?"
"Hm...okay. We feel a little off, but we'll be alright," Jin answered. Junno made an odd noise, before showing them the office door and rushing away. "What's up with him?"
"Dunno," Nishikido shrugged, reaching past him and opening the door. The four walked in, immediately engulfed by the strange-smelling room. Ueda thought it smelt like mothballs - he also thought it smelt as though Nakamaru needed to open the window.
Nakamaru himself stood up from behind his sturdy wooden desk as they piled in, smiling and gesturing for them to take a seat infront of him. They sat down upon spindly chairs, bowing politely to him.
"Now, I have been told by Kato that Tanaka has...passed," Nakamaru said, sitting down in his large chair. Ueda saw Kamenashi duck his head.
"Yes..." Jin said carefully, throwing a glance over to Kamenashi.
Nakamaru nodded. "Ohkura, if you will," he said, and a man stepped seemingly out of the shadows.
"Huh?" Jin said, glancing between the tall man and Nakamaru.
"Hello," the other man, Ohkura, said, his blonde hair a contrast to the otherwise dim room.
"Hey," Jin greeted him awkwardly, hovering between standing up to shake his hand or sitting down and letting the other come to him.
"Ohkura will be replacing Tanaka as your drummer," Nakamaru announced, shuffling some papers before setting them into a drawer.
"I'm sorry - what?" Nishikido asked, standing up and towering over the other. Nakamaru didn't look intimidated.
"I can leave, if you want--"
"Yes, please--"
"No, you have every righ--"
"He has no fucking right to be here at all."
"Nishikido Ryo, if you don't calm down, I'm afraid I may have to call security," Nakamaru said. Nishikido sat back down, panting. The door opened and shut again, and Ohkura was gone, probably waiting just outside the door.
"Are you telling us you're replacing Koki?" Ueda asked, then. The others went quiet. Ueda had chosen his words well - there was no way Nakamaru could reply without insulting either them or Koki.
The other was rightfully flustered with the question, trying to word his sentence so that it didn't sound hurtful. Jin raised his eyebrows, tired of waiting. "Well?"
"Ohkura is not meant to be a replacement."
"Right, then, what the heck is he doing here?" Nishikido asked.
"He is your new drummer; the next singl--"
"We need to talk. We're going outside, we'll be back soon."
The four of them stormed out, Nishikido slamming the door behind them for good measure. Ueda felt slightly sorry for Ohkura, as he flinched back from the force of the glare Jin directed at him as they walked past. Ueda was sure there was another glare from Nishikido, who was behind him.
They made it outside quickly, and Kamenashi sat down upon the stairs. "What're we gonna do?" he asked, sweeping a hand through his fair hair.
"We're not going to take this," Jin said forcefully.
"Wait - should we ring Kato?" Ueda interrupted suddenly, reaching for his phone. Kamenashi nodded.
"Always the logical two," Jin smiled, moving to lean against the wall as Ueda found his number.
"Kato?"
"Ueda? For the millionth time, call me 'Shige'--"
"Kato, we need to ask you something."
"Shoot."
"Did you k--" Ueda was cut off, then, for Nishikido had ripped the phone out of his hand. "Nishik--"
"Oi, Shige."
Ueda could just make out a fuzzy, "Ah crap, not you," from Kato's end of the line, and smiled slightly.
"Yes, me, now shut up and listen. Nakamaru's gone crazy, and he's found us some blonde-haired dude to replace Ko-- Shige? Shige! St-- Wha-- You're n-- MY GOD, MAN, SHUT UP!" Nishikido roared into the phone. "Yeah. I can't remember. Yep. No. You didn't know?"
Kamenashi started making wild hand gestures at Nishikido, who shushed him and turned away frowning. "Alright, then. Okay. See you then, nerd." Nishikido shut the phone with a snap and handed it back to Ueda. "So, he didn't know about it. He's coming over now - he's not too far away."
They waited there for twenty minutes, discussing what was going to happen; Nakamaru had even sent out people to make sure they were coming back. Then they saw Kato's skinny form running up to them, hair askew. They spent a few more minutes outside, talking to Kato and throwing ideas across to one another, eventually coming to a decision.
"Right," Kato said, adjusting his jacket, "Let's go."
They were all taken aback as the usually cool-headed Kato almost ripped open the door to Nakamaru's office and slammed his hands onto the desk. Even Nakamaru jumped.
"What the hell do you think you're doing?" Kato growled. "You're getting a new drummer? Without telling m-- no, without asking me?"
"Woah, go Shige," Nishikido whispered, a touch of awe in his voice.
"No, I've already gotten a drummer - Ohk--"
"Don't call him in; I don't care. You should have told me about it," Kato interrupted, and the others could almost feel the look he was giving Nakamaru from across the table. "Jin?"
Jin stepped forward, meeting Nakamaru's eyes. "We can't take any more of this. We're not a band without Koki."
"What're you saying?" Nakamaru asked, but they could tell he already knew.
"We quit."
>>><<<
Their decision was final. Once their contracts had expired by Christmas, they were free. It was strange, in a way - all they had longed for was a record deal, but once they had it... they had felt trapped, being forced to do as Nakamaru had wished. Kato had apologised numerous times, but they had ignored him, until Kamenashi took pity on him and physically lifted him from the ground. He blamed himself for everything wrong that had happened; Nishikido had hit him round the head for thinking such thoughts and then locked him outside with Thumper, who proceeded to eat his tie.
>>><<<
Jin brought his dusty old put-it-together-yourself Christmas tree out of the attic, almost dropping it right on Ueda's head as he passed it to him. "Ah! Sorry!"
"It's fine," Ueda struggled out as he wormed his arms around the box containing the tree.
"Just put it in the corner of the lounge room, okay? I'll follow with the decorations," said Jin, voice muffled as he rummaged around in the attic.
"Okay," Ueda answered, literally dragging the tree into the room Jin had specified. He dropped it, and contemplated where to start. "Jin? I don't know how to figure this out. You did it by yourself last time."
"Hang on, I've been attacked by tinsel," came Jin's reply, and Ueda waited calmly until Jin reappeared, arms laden with bags upon bags of decorations. He set them upon the couch, hands on hips, and said determinedly, "Let's get to work."
They started with the base of the tree, which Ueda didn't think would support the rest of it but Jin assured him it would. They had to put the branches on one by one, and as each was crushed by the weight of the rest of the tree in the box, they had to straighten out the fake branches. Jin was having a great time; he played Christmas carols and sung in English, dancing around as he worked. Ueda laughed at him, preferring to just listen to the song, but he too was having a great time. He hadn't put together a Christmas tree like this before.
They had finally finished the tree, but then Ueda turned around and saw Jin already rummaging through the bags of decorations. "Here," he said, passing Ueda a string of fairy lights. "Wind these around the tree."
Ueda did as he was told, and Jin plugged the other end into the powerpoint. The two then started on the rest of the tree - somehow, Ueda ended up along the way with antlers atop his head, and Jin seemed to whip his phone out of nowhere to take a photo of him, disgruntled expression and all.
"Can I go back to tinsel-duty?"
"Y-yeah," Jin wheezed, holding his stomach as he typed something on his phone. "Ah, I'm crying-- I almost wet myself."
"It wasn't that funny."
"It was. Cause you're Bambi."
"Bambi isn't a reindeer."
"...he's not?"
"No."
"Damn it!"
>>><<<
There were already many presents under their tree by the time that Christmas Eve rolled around. Ueda had also discovered that Jin had sent everyone a copy of the picture with him in those antlers, and had subsequently hidden said antlers. Jin was going crazy trying to find them when the doorbell rang.
"I'll get it!" Jin bellowed. "Oh, it's just Ryo."
"Gee, thanks," Nishikido said, as he walked in. "Where's Ueda?"
"Ueda!"
"I'm coming!" Ueda yelled back, coming out of the kitchen. "Your house isn't that big; you don't need to be so loud!"
"It's more fun that way," Jin smirked, and walked away. "Have fun."
"Stop making everything sound dirty!" Nishikido shouted. Jin just chuckled, and the two were left alone in the hallway. "Are you ready?"
"Ah, hang on, I need to get my stuff."
Once Ueda had everything he needed, Nishikido led Ueda to his car and they were off. "Where are we going?" Ueda asked, peering out of the windows. Nishikido chuckled.
"Tell you once we get there."
"But I'll know by then."
"Then shut up," Nishikido said, a smile on his face.
The drive wasn't too long, and they quickly found themselves in the city, surrounded by concrete buildings and streets bustling with people. Neon lights flashed down to them from shop fronts and billboards, reflecting off the surface of the car. Ueda felt small within the busy streets, but was awed at the sheer amount of people at this time of the night - it wasn't late, but it was quite dark.
Ueda sunk down in his seat as he heard the music playing on the radio. "Go away, Joan Jett," he muttered, earning a strange glance from Nishikido. He didn't want to think of Yamashita tonight.
"Who're you talking to, Bambi?"
"No-one," Ueda said, turning to look back at the people rushing past outside the window.
Nishikido took a few more turns, and then they were in a quieter part of the city. He found a space to park, and took something out of the back before placing it into his jacket pocket. "Come on," he said, turning and leading the way down the street.
The night air was crisp and welcomed as the two walked side-by-side. Ueda's stomach knotted as he felt Nishikido watching him, but it wasn't the same as when Yamashita looked at him. It was more nervous - he didn't know what Nishikido wanted. He couldn't read the other at all.
They stopped outside a run-down cinema. It was old-fashioned, with large, yellowed posters advertising black-and-white films plastered tastefully on the face of it. There was a small room off to the side, where they ordered tickets and Nishikido forced Ueda to share popcorn. Ueda didn't even think he liked popcorn, but Nishikido was determined.
Inside was musty and the air smelt stale, but it was still cosy. Ueda and Nishikido sat in the middle somewhere, and Nishikido dug into the popcorn straight away, earning a laugh from Ueda.
"Shut up, I didn't have dinner," Nishikido said, flicking a piece at Ueda, who dodged it.
"What're w--"
"Shh, it's starting."
>>><<<
After the film, which Ueda had enjoyed immensely - he had also enjoyed the popcorn, but wasn't going to admit that anytime soon - Nishikido dragged Ueda around the city, pointing out random shops and food stalls that he frequented, as he lived nearby.
After a while, Ueda found the city strangely beautiful. He had never really seen it at night, and it was completely different than it was during the day. He and Nishikido walked along in silence, until they reached a massive Christmas tree in the middle of a large park.
"Wow," Ueda breathed. Nishikido smiled widely.
"I know, isn't it great?" he said, but Ueda wasn't really listening. The tree was swaying softly with the wind, causing it's many decorations to jingle as they followed it. It was decorated with purple, silver and blue baubles, with white fairy lights covering the entire thing. It was really beautiful.
Nishikido turned to Ueda, and he wrenched his eyes of the fantastic tree to watch him. He drew a present out of his pocket, and Ueda's eyebrows rose. He had left the others' present at home. "Here," Nishikido said softly, tone different than what it usually was. Ueda took it slowly, and turned it around in his hands. It was quite small, and carefully wrapped. There was no card.
"Can I open it?" Ueda asked. Nishikido nodded, eyes on the ground between them. Ueda gingerly ripped the paper, and took out the box inside. He opened the lid, and his eyes flew up to Nishikido's. Lying on a bed of white satin material was a necklace, with a small golden Bambi pendant attached to it. "Wh--"
"It's nothing. It's stupid," Nishikido babbled, hands running through his black hair. "I-I'm going."
As the other turned around, Ueda made up his mind. One, was because he had no other way home; the other reason was because he wanted to. Maybe, just maybe, it would be alright.
"Nishikido!" Ueda called, and the other turned back. Ueda rushed up to him, and the other watched him, wide-eyed, as he took an extra step closer and leant up, gently pressing his lips against Nishikido's own. Ueda raised his arms up, resting his hands upon Nishikido's shoulders. He felt the other stiffen, and push against his chest, forcing Ueda backwards. "Wha--"
"What're you doing?" Nishikido asked, wiping his mouth. Ueda felt slightly insulted.
"I--"
"I know you're in love with Pi," he said, and Ueda had to shrink back at the intensity of the stare that Nishikido was giving him.
"You wh--"
"Don't use me as your excuse to forget about him."
"I'm no--"
"Please." Nishikido held up his hand. "You don't want this."
"But you do."
"What the fu-- Ueda Tatsuya, don't you dare put me before yourself. I'll live."
Ueda's vision blurred, and Nishikido smiled softly before bringing him close. "I'm so sorry," Ueda said between tears. "You've been so nice to me, I'm so sorry that I don't feel the same--"
"Oh, shut up, it's fine," Nishikido said, patting his hair.
"Maybe I could learn to love y--"
"Seriously, shut up, before you say anything else stupid." Nishikido reached down and cupped Ueda's face in his hands. "Remember what I told you? About the story of Bambi?" Ueda nodded. "The deer that was in love with Faline had to give her up, so that Bambi could take care of her. No, don't cry-- oh shit." Nishikido drew Ueda back in for another hug.
"As long as you stay my friend," Ueda said eventually, letting Nishikido go and wiping his eyes.
"Of course," Nishikido said.
"Can you help me with this necklace?"
End of Chapter 17
A/N: 1) SECOND TO LAST CHAPTER. Don't know why that's in capitals. OH GOD ONLY ONE CHAPTER LEFT *bursts into tears*
2) So, er, dramatic things happened in this chapter. Le Ciel quitting, Ueda kissing Ryo, Ohkura ninja-ing his way into this chapter, Jin and a Christmas tree, Nakamaru being a bastard, Shige being cool, Yamapi also being a ninja.
3) Young Ryo is the most adorable thing in the world.