(no subject)
In case you've ever wondered what kind of things engineers think about, its not all scary things. the following is a newspaper article from my University's paper. (the engineers used to have a seperate one but now there's just one page in the main university paper.
Given the option, which Care Bear would you eat? by Doug Demaro
Sometimes when you watch nothing but children's television you get some pretty good ideas. Like where do Care Bears stand on the food scale? Are they ahead of polar bears or grizzly bears, or maybe just below gummi bears? I'd rather eat a gummi bear than a fish.
First off, everyone knows there are Care Bears and then their other animal cousins. Let's discuss the bears themselves first. The bears I'd recommend staying away from are Sunshine Bear because he's probably the biggest flamer of the bunch. Unless eating gay bears is your thing. Grumpy Bear is setting you up for a bad day; probably give you some bad kind of indigestion. I wouldn't want to eat Wish Bear either, I think she might turn you into a genie, which would be fun for awhile, but you'd eventually want to live in some kind of stupid bottle or maybe you'd be wished free and then have to be on some stupid cartoon and hang around with smelly monkeys. Lastly Grams Bear, it isn't like its a gram in a good way like heroin or pendulums, it's grams in the way you'd call your dead grandmother grams, "Oh you mean Grams. Yea she's dead." If you're as afraid of corpses as I am then maybe you'd like to avoid this whole situation.
The Care Bear Cousins you probably wouldn't want to eat, but are still most likely tastier then the Bears you want to eat, but for continuity sakes I'm going to tell you which ones you should avoid. Cozy Heart Penguin, what's her deal anyway she's a fucking penguin she can't fly and she lives in a jungle and can travel to the clouds, I bet her systems to fucked up to even consider eating, we'll just call her leprosy. Next we have Brave Heart Lion, I know a lot about eating cats and it's not something you want to do on a daily basis, maybe if his name was delicious Heart I'd consider eating it. Playful Heart Monkey gets the nod to, simply because it's the closest thing to being a cannibal this article will let me be.
So here it is the top 7 Care Bear/Cousins I recommend you eat. In no Specific order:
Treat Heart Pig. Jill was right on this one since I didnt believe it existed. Eating a pig is always a great idea though.
Gentle Heart Lamb. Simply because if you had to kill it yourself it wouldn't fight back. Take that gentle heart, or should I say supper.
Birthday Bear. A bear that tastes like cake, best dessert ever.
Loyal Heart Dog. Who doesn't like a good meal of dog every once in awhile?
Hugs and Tugs. There babies, there's no way you can't enjoy eating them. Besides having all that extra baby fat to keep the meat juicy its all fresh with none of the cancer Smokey Bear has.
Good Luck Bear. If he wins me the lottery he can put his lucky charms in my mouth anytime.
There you have it, the best Care Bears to eat. You could eat a Beastly if you wanted to, but he'd be heart Disease bear if he had a name. So which Care Bear would you eat?
yes I know I'm sad. I typed out that whole thing. i tried to maintain the spelling and grammar but i might have slipped up. i hope it amused you as well
Given the option, which Care Bear would you eat? by Doug Demaro
Sometimes when you watch nothing but children's television you get some pretty good ideas. Like where do Care Bears stand on the food scale? Are they ahead of polar bears or grizzly bears, or maybe just below gummi bears? I'd rather eat a gummi bear than a fish.
First off, everyone knows there are Care Bears and then their other animal cousins. Let's discuss the bears themselves first. The bears I'd recommend staying away from are Sunshine Bear because he's probably the biggest flamer of the bunch. Unless eating gay bears is your thing. Grumpy Bear is setting you up for a bad day; probably give you some bad kind of indigestion. I wouldn't want to eat Wish Bear either, I think she might turn you into a genie, which would be fun for awhile, but you'd eventually want to live in some kind of stupid bottle or maybe you'd be wished free and then have to be on some stupid cartoon and hang around with smelly monkeys. Lastly Grams Bear, it isn't like its a gram in a good way like heroin or pendulums, it's grams in the way you'd call your dead grandmother grams, "Oh you mean Grams. Yea she's dead." If you're as afraid of corpses as I am then maybe you'd like to avoid this whole situation.
The Care Bear Cousins you probably wouldn't want to eat, but are still most likely tastier then the Bears you want to eat, but for continuity sakes I'm going to tell you which ones you should avoid. Cozy Heart Penguin, what's her deal anyway she's a fucking penguin she can't fly and she lives in a jungle and can travel to the clouds, I bet her systems to fucked up to even consider eating, we'll just call her leprosy. Next we have Brave Heart Lion, I know a lot about eating cats and it's not something you want to do on a daily basis, maybe if his name was delicious Heart I'd consider eating it. Playful Heart Monkey gets the nod to, simply because it's the closest thing to being a cannibal this article will let me be.
So here it is the top 7 Care Bear/Cousins I recommend you eat. In no Specific order:
Treat Heart Pig. Jill was right on this one since I didnt believe it existed. Eating a pig is always a great idea though.
Gentle Heart Lamb. Simply because if you had to kill it yourself it wouldn't fight back. Take that gentle heart, or should I say supper.
Birthday Bear. A bear that tastes like cake, best dessert ever.
Loyal Heart Dog. Who doesn't like a good meal of dog every once in awhile?
Hugs and Tugs. There babies, there's no way you can't enjoy eating them. Besides having all that extra baby fat to keep the meat juicy its all fresh with none of the cancer Smokey Bear has.
Good Luck Bear. If he wins me the lottery he can put his lucky charms in my mouth anytime.
There you have it, the best Care Bears to eat. You could eat a Beastly if you wanted to, but he'd be heart Disease bear if he had a name. So which Care Bear would you eat?
yes I know I'm sad. I typed out that whole thing. i tried to maintain the spelling and grammar but i might have slipped up. i hope it amused you as well