There's Something Wrong With Me
So I'm back, and selfishly it's because I need help.
There's something wrong with me, and there always has been. I've spent the majority of my life being good, not causing problems, suppressing my feelings in order to not cause problems. My brother has Asperger's, which is kind of like a high functioning form of autism, but it still required a lot of attention from my parents. My parents divorced when I was 2, and they re-married when I was 8 and 9 respectively. Talking about problems I was having or feeling were met with "Your problems are nothing compared to Paul's" or "there's nothing wrong with you" or "you think you have problems, think of blah blah blah in blah blah"
That was true, there were a lot of people who had it worse than me, so I buried and suppressed and just tried to move forward. To this day when I tell people about my IBS, usually in response to a bewildered question about why I don't drink caffeine, they tell me it's terrible and I say there's worse afflictions to have.
And that's true.
But you know what, that doesn't make IBS any easier to live with and it's time I let shit like that out.
Which I will be doing over the course of God knows how long until I can regain some kind of emotional stability.
There's something wrong with me, and there always has been. I've spent the majority of my life being good, not causing problems, suppressing my feelings in order to not cause problems. My brother has Asperger's, which is kind of like a high functioning form of autism, but it still required a lot of attention from my parents. My parents divorced when I was 2, and they re-married when I was 8 and 9 respectively. Talking about problems I was having or feeling were met with "Your problems are nothing compared to Paul's" or "there's nothing wrong with you" or "you think you have problems, think of blah blah blah in blah blah"
That was true, there were a lot of people who had it worse than me, so I buried and suppressed and just tried to move forward. To this day when I tell people about my IBS, usually in response to a bewildered question about why I don't drink caffeine, they tell me it's terrible and I say there's worse afflictions to have.
And that's true.
But you know what, that doesn't make IBS any easier to live with and it's time I let shit like that out.
Which I will be doing over the course of God knows how long until I can regain some kind of emotional stability.