(no subject)
Screaming girl fans are wasted on me. I sometimes feel like I should make it up to them by pointing out Ashton Kutcher or some other nearby celebrity, except I can never find a nearby celebrity when I need one. I could point them toward the imaginary straight member of the Fab Five that I hear so much about, but I don't know which one of us that is. I suspect Carson.
It isn't me, in any case. A major disappointment to the girls I ran into earlier this week, from what I can tell. They backed me into a dollar store. A place I generally try to avoid like the plague, and I usually advise the straight guys that appear on our show to do the same, lest they gravitate toward the cheap shampoo and conditioner sold there. Or worse: shampoo and conditioner combined. A big no-no. More than once I've considered proposing a ban on that lethal combination.
They did, however, have a nose hair trimmer. The dollar stores are getting on the right track. Then again, I have serious qualms about purchasing an important grooming tool in a discount store. Some things you just have to go high-end for, and something that goes up one's nose is one of those things.
After the girls calmed down from the shock of seeing me in person, I signed some autographs, advised one girl on whether or not she should shave her head (she had a lovely head shape, I had to give her the go ahead), and convinced another girl out of buying dollar store toothpaste. Then after resisting the temptation to purchase a shirt that even Carson would consider "loud", I managed to make my way out of the store unharmed. All in all, it wasn't that bad. I have fans approach me, but it's not always a mob converging like that, and I have to say that I enjoyed it. Of course, I would have enjoyed it more had it been a flock of men, but that's stating the obvious.
It isn't me, in any case. A major disappointment to the girls I ran into earlier this week, from what I can tell. They backed me into a dollar store. A place I generally try to avoid like the plague, and I usually advise the straight guys that appear on our show to do the same, lest they gravitate toward the cheap shampoo and conditioner sold there. Or worse: shampoo and conditioner combined. A big no-no. More than once I've considered proposing a ban on that lethal combination.
They did, however, have a nose hair trimmer. The dollar stores are getting on the right track. Then again, I have serious qualms about purchasing an important grooming tool in a discount store. Some things you just have to go high-end for, and something that goes up one's nose is one of those things.
After the girls calmed down from the shock of seeing me in person, I signed some autographs, advised one girl on whether or not she should shave her head (she had a lovely head shape, I had to give her the go ahead), and convinced another girl out of buying dollar store toothpaste. Then after resisting the temptation to purchase a shirt that even Carson would consider "loud", I managed to make my way out of the store unharmed. All in all, it wasn't that bad. I have fans approach me, but it's not always a mob converging like that, and I have to say that I enjoyed it. Of course, I would have enjoyed it more had it been a flock of men, but that's stating the obvious.