Memories
I had saved a copy of this journal prior to purging it, thinking that I could no longer write from inspiration. I made the copy in 2009 and I had just been recently diagnosed with Multiple Sclerosis.
The copy of the journal is a very long .html file and includes a section of comments - if any - for each post.
I managed to catch covid from something recently so I had a lot of time to go through it this week.
Reading it all, I can only think of one thing:
Remember that you are always a fool. You never know what you do or truly why you do it.
In it, I see a version of corrupted youth. I am doing and writing of doing things constantly unworthy of myself. I needed an outlet, for certain. But the ideas are so raw and unrefined and untested against any kind of principle - which I sought at the time. It's like watching someone that can't think more than 5 second ahead of their actions.
I'm sure everyone goes through these moments. I just can't bear to read more of it. I'm sure there's a gem or two in it.
The copy of the journal is a very long .html file and includes a section of comments - if any - for each post.
I managed to catch covid from something recently so I had a lot of time to go through it this week.
Reading it all, I can only think of one thing:
Remember that you are always a fool. You never know what you do or truly why you do it.
In it, I see a version of corrupted youth. I am doing and writing of doing things constantly unworthy of myself. I needed an outlet, for certain. But the ideas are so raw and unrefined and untested against any kind of principle - which I sought at the time. It's like watching someone that can't think more than 5 second ahead of their actions.
I'm sure everyone goes through these moments. I just can't bear to read more of it. I'm sure there's a gem or two in it.