Drink cheap wine and watch for shooting stars * * * *
I just want some one I can talk to. Some one who I can automatically turn to when the day is going wrong. But I don't have that. I mean, I have some one, but I can't talk to them about THEM. It's just so hard. I feel out of place sometimes.
Tonight was rough. A lot of fighting going on that shouldn't have even been started. Fights are terrible. Theres only so much I can say....I guess sometimes I pick the wrong words when Im trying to explain myself and my situation. If you know me well enough, Im never good at words.
I'm bummed about school. The summer made everything so much easier. Everything was so care-free and great. School only results in fights. Fighting with ones closer to you because of things they do behind your back and the way they ignore you once the school day starts. You don't mean to ignore them or they may not mean to ignore you, but it just happens.
I need someone that I can turn to everyday. Tell them when things are great and when things are terrible. Jake, I can tell him almost anything. But I need more then just a boyfriend to turn to. I need a great friend, some one who will listen about stupid things that shouldn't even get you upset, and should be there to actually understand it all and see your point of view. Not just say your stupid for being upset over something so small. Put yourself in my shoes during those situations, you'll know exactly how it feels. Maybe that should happen. Maybe I should do the same thing right back to a person and then see how they complain about it. Then I will tell them that...that is how I felt. That is how I got so upset in the first place. That certain line that is circulating in my head.."when life hands you lemons,make lemonade" or the other various ones there are. Yeah..well life handed me shit. What am I suppose to do with that? Some days are great, some days I just wish I wasn't here. That I was just away from everyone and everything. I want things to be normal again. I want to love like I loved before and not have anything get in my way. I want the past back, as crazy as it may sound. yes, I know your not suppose to dwell on the past, but I just can't sit here and dwell on the present. I want the old stuff back. Everything I use to have, feel, and love...I want it back.
I love you, don't ever forget that . No matter what happens, no matter how many fights occur, or how many things come and get in our way. I love you now and I will love you forever. You just can't give up the only thing you have ever been sure of. I've messed up a lot of things in my life, and I'm not going to let you be one that I have to add to list. I wanna get it right. For once...I just want to get something right.
This journal is getting me no where. It has no point to you probably. But it has so much meaning to me. But it's over now. I'm done. I'm done with a lot of things. I'm too young to be so stressed out. I need to live. I need to have fun....
Tonight was rough. A lot of fighting going on that shouldn't have even been started. Fights are terrible. Theres only so much I can say....I guess sometimes I pick the wrong words when Im trying to explain myself and my situation. If you know me well enough, Im never good at words.
I'm bummed about school. The summer made everything so much easier. Everything was so care-free and great. School only results in fights. Fighting with ones closer to you because of things they do behind your back and the way they ignore you once the school day starts. You don't mean to ignore them or they may not mean to ignore you, but it just happens.
I need someone that I can turn to everyday. Tell them when things are great and when things are terrible. Jake, I can tell him almost anything. But I need more then just a boyfriend to turn to. I need a great friend, some one who will listen about stupid things that shouldn't even get you upset, and should be there to actually understand it all and see your point of view. Not just say your stupid for being upset over something so small. Put yourself in my shoes during those situations, you'll know exactly how it feels. Maybe that should happen. Maybe I should do the same thing right back to a person and then see how they complain about it. Then I will tell them that...that is how I felt. That is how I got so upset in the first place. That certain line that is circulating in my head.."when life hands you lemons,make lemonade" or the other various ones there are. Yeah..well life handed me shit. What am I suppose to do with that? Some days are great, some days I just wish I wasn't here. That I was just away from everyone and everything. I want things to be normal again. I want to love like I loved before and not have anything get in my way. I want the past back, as crazy as it may sound. yes, I know your not suppose to dwell on the past, but I just can't sit here and dwell on the present. I want the old stuff back. Everything I use to have, feel, and love...I want it back.
I love you, don't ever forget that . No matter what happens, no matter how many fights occur, or how many things come and get in our way. I love you now and I will love you forever. You just can't give up the only thing you have ever been sure of. I've messed up a lot of things in my life, and I'm not going to let you be one that I have to add to list. I wanna get it right. For once...I just want to get something right.
This journal is getting me no where. It has no point to you probably. But it has so much meaning to me. But it's over now. I'm done. I'm done with a lot of things. I'm too young to be so stressed out. I need to live. I need to have fun....