Episode Reflection: tVD 4.2
YOU GUYS. THIS SHOW.
[I am an Elena STAN, is all]
++ Elena!
- - - Not even Elena - can we just GAB for a second how FUXKING BRILLIANT NINA IS RIGHT NOW, OKAY? FOR ME!??! BECAUSE SHE IS. PERFECTION. IS. Nina's portrayal of Elena at the start of this episode (much like her long, slow scenes from the start of 4.1) are slow and awe-ful. They are full of awe. Because she's so very subtle - it's like a slow-moving train wreck; Elena's all over the place and Nina's performance is slow and steady. She allows the scenes to BE. THIS CHILD.
- - - HER FACE right before she kisses Stefan. I am not really sure what that face even was - but it wasn't sexy or turned on... it was something else. Something like "Oh shit, I can do ____________" .... Very Katherine-esque in it's raw curiosity - like either she had just figured something out, or she realized that she finally *could* figure something out.
- - - LYING to Stefan about being happy. Good gods, does this child ever just! She's so perfectly Elena as a vampire. I love it. Because when are they going to figure out that Elena wants other people to be happy so much - she's willing to lie? To anyone. Even herself?
- - - Can't keep the blood down? Oh I WANT this to be a doppleganger thing. BECAUSE THEN WE CAN SEE KATHERINE! *dances*
- - - Watching her wipe up the blood in the bathroom? It's like she's having to go through the pain of cleaning up a mess without actually making one. SOUND FAMILIAR? And - is she able to NOT kill Matt because Elena is so pure (Lulz - 'cause I'm buying that coughNOTcoughcough)
- - - She called Damon. Because of course she called Damon. A girl is consistent.
++ Stefan is the trolliest troll of all the troll trolls. And a perfectly perfect ass. Can he go away? He makes me feel so .... ugh. I want to find his asshole-ness amusing. But I have too many feelings towards it! It makes me sad and feel very uncomfortable. Especially when he's abusing around Elena. STAN-time: Elena has every right to lie to Stefan. He has no right to get so upset with her for it. It's how their relationship ~works. Also. I don't like him.
++ Caroline for the win. "If he shows his face, I'll kick his ass." Oh snap! I love this girl. Also - having Elena BECOME vamp!Elena instead of what Stefan wants her to be or Damon wants her to be. Elena-as-a-Vampire. It's what Caroline was able to find. Because she slipped so easily and steadily into Caroline-as-a-Vampire. There's a difference between letting it take hold of you, losing yourself, and keeping a sense of self. Elena ~compels. She manipulates. She comforts. She guides. She loves. She cares. She is Elena fraxking Gilbert. And Caroline has known her their entire lives. Elena needs to still be Elena in spite of being a vampire - and Caroline knows what that's like. It's lovely.
I love Caroline more than words.
++ Tyler was a big damn hero. And I don't really care. I can't get behind him. I just can't.
++ JEREMY AND APRIL FOR NEW OTP THANK THE GODS! I never, ever understood Jeremy/Bonnie. Jeremy is soft and sensitive and Bonnie is fierce and strong. He ... Jeremy is my tv-boyfriend, okay? I *only* say that about him, no one else. And Jeremy isn't a good match for Bonnie. Bonnie for him? A lovely girl, sweet as can be, will challenge and strengthen him. But I don't see him giving back to her as much as he's getting. He just... isn't right. Now: Anna, April - what these girls have in common, other than their general physical appearance (short, mousy, curly hair, cute as a button faces) - is that they are quirky, awkward, shy, say goofnut things and HEY WRITERS! You hit Jeremy's kink! Jeremy is the guy in the novel/indie film that falls for the weird, quirky girl who changes his life. He's the lead in Garden State and Elizabethtown or Juno or Perks of Being a Wallflower... and while he was with Bonnie, he was the lead of an indie-film trapped in a Girl Power music video. (Or Torture Porn - I'm pretty sure their relationship is a Girl Power music video, but Bonnie's life is Torture Porn...) Anyway, April is an indie-film quirky girl and that's just what my tv-boyfriend was written for. And it's obvious when she writes up, she might as well be wearing a "I was written to fall in love with Jeremy" shirt.
++ Vamps talking to each other in the church! I HAVE BEEN WANTING THIS FROM ALL TIME! That is all. (Seriously, though - was I the only one completely geeking out? I loved every moment of it.)
++ Damon is Damon is Damon. I love him. He gave Elena his blood - and it was made clear it was more important than most things. He BROUGHT ELENA A DRESS. BECAUSE WHY. And then he had all the emotions when Elena fed from Matt (did you see his FACE?!?!) and that was precious. And then he was stupid. And then his brother punched him. And then there was an ~emotional scene with all the kids.
And then he had a SCENE IN A GRAVEYARD. AND HAVE I MENTIONED HOW MUCH I LOVE THIS MAN?
Love. That's what this episode was. Love. Damon and Elena were individually phenomenal and so Fantastic together and it was all love. Plus, Jeremy and Caroline give me ~feelings.
In other news: I have written +5,000 words of fic and the gods only know how much meta in the past couple of weeks (and I count my comments as meta, now - because I over-analyze penny_lane_42's Infinite RPF and am unashamed BECAUSE IT'S WONDERFUL) but I have NOT gotten any head-way on my thesis. Which is bad. I'm also on a bad spree of <5hrs of sleep a night. And! I'm doing that thing again where I don't eat (I quite literally forget to eat sometimes, it's this whole problem) ... so I've been easily distracted and posting at 1a and just in a weird, wacky place. Which is either related to my depression - or separate and making it worse. Because I get really wrapped up in being so lonely and alone and then I sleep less and eat less and it's a vicious cycle of bad.
[I am an Elena STAN, is all]
++ Elena!
- - - Not even Elena - can we just GAB for a second how FUXKING BRILLIANT NINA IS RIGHT NOW, OKAY? FOR ME!??! BECAUSE SHE IS. PERFECTION. IS. Nina's portrayal of Elena at the start of this episode (much like her long, slow scenes from the start of 4.1) are slow and awe-ful. They are full of awe. Because she's so very subtle - it's like a slow-moving train wreck; Elena's all over the place and Nina's performance is slow and steady. She allows the scenes to BE. THIS CHILD.
- - - HER FACE right before she kisses Stefan. I am not really sure what that face even was - but it wasn't sexy or turned on... it was something else. Something like "Oh shit, I can do ____________" .... Very Katherine-esque in it's raw curiosity - like either she had just figured something out, or she realized that she finally *could* figure something out.
- - - LYING to Stefan about being happy. Good gods, does this child ever just! She's so perfectly Elena as a vampire. I love it. Because when are they going to figure out that Elena wants other people to be happy so much - she's willing to lie? To anyone. Even herself?
- - - Can't keep the blood down? Oh I WANT this to be a doppleganger thing. BECAUSE THEN WE CAN SEE KATHERINE! *dances*
- - - Watching her wipe up the blood in the bathroom? It's like she's having to go through the pain of cleaning up a mess without actually making one. SOUND FAMILIAR? And - is she able to NOT kill Matt because Elena is so pure (Lulz - 'cause I'm buying that coughNOTcoughcough)
- - - She called Damon. Because of course she called Damon. A girl is consistent.
++ Stefan is the trolliest troll of all the troll trolls. And a perfectly perfect ass. Can he go away? He makes me feel so .... ugh. I want to find his asshole-ness amusing. But I have too many feelings towards it! It makes me sad and feel very uncomfortable. Especially when he's abusing around Elena. STAN-time: Elena has every right to lie to Stefan. He has no right to get so upset with her for it. It's how their relationship ~works. Also. I don't like him.
++ Caroline for the win. "If he shows his face, I'll kick his ass." Oh snap! I love this girl. Also - having Elena BECOME vamp!Elena instead of what Stefan wants her to be or Damon wants her to be. Elena-as-a-Vampire. It's what Caroline was able to find. Because she slipped so easily and steadily into Caroline-as-a-Vampire. There's a difference between letting it take hold of you, losing yourself, and keeping a sense of self. Elena ~compels. She manipulates. She comforts. She guides. She loves. She cares. She is Elena fraxking Gilbert. And Caroline has known her their entire lives. Elena needs to still be Elena in spite of being a vampire - and Caroline knows what that's like. It's lovely.
I love Caroline more than words.
++ Tyler was a big damn hero. And I don't really care. I can't get behind him. I just can't.
++ JEREMY AND APRIL FOR NEW OTP THANK THE GODS! I never, ever understood Jeremy/Bonnie. Jeremy is soft and sensitive and Bonnie is fierce and strong. He ... Jeremy is my tv-boyfriend, okay? I *only* say that about him, no one else. And Jeremy isn't a good match for Bonnie. Bonnie for him? A lovely girl, sweet as can be, will challenge and strengthen him. But I don't see him giving back to her as much as he's getting. He just... isn't right. Now: Anna, April - what these girls have in common, other than their general physical appearance (short, mousy, curly hair, cute as a button faces) - is that they are quirky, awkward, shy, say goofnut things and HEY WRITERS! You hit Jeremy's kink! Jeremy is the guy in the novel/indie film that falls for the weird, quirky girl who changes his life. He's the lead in Garden State and Elizabethtown or Juno or Perks of Being a Wallflower... and while he was with Bonnie, he was the lead of an indie-film trapped in a Girl Power music video. (Or Torture Porn - I'm pretty sure their relationship is a Girl Power music video, but Bonnie's life is Torture Porn...) Anyway, April is an indie-film quirky girl and that's just what my tv-boyfriend was written for. And it's obvious when she writes up, she might as well be wearing a "I was written to fall in love with Jeremy" shirt.
++ Vamps talking to each other in the church! I HAVE BEEN WANTING THIS FROM ALL TIME! That is all. (Seriously, though - was I the only one completely geeking out? I loved every moment of it.)
++ Damon is Damon is Damon. I love him. He gave Elena his blood - and it was made clear it was more important than most things. He BROUGHT ELENA A DRESS. BECAUSE WHY. And then he had all the emotions when Elena fed from Matt (did you see his FACE?!?!) and that was precious. And then he was stupid. And then his brother punched him. And then there was an ~emotional scene with all the kids.
And then he had a SCENE IN A GRAVEYARD. AND HAVE I MENTIONED HOW MUCH I LOVE THIS MAN?
Love. That's what this episode was. Love. Damon and Elena were individually phenomenal and so Fantastic together and it was all love. Plus, Jeremy and Caroline give me ~feelings.
In other news: I have written +5,000 words of fic and the gods only know how much meta in the past couple of weeks (and I count my comments as meta, now - because I over-analyze penny_lane_42's Infinite RPF and am unashamed BECAUSE IT'S WONDERFUL) but I have NOT gotten any head-way on my thesis. Which is bad. I'm also on a bad spree of <5hrs of sleep a night. And! I'm doing that thing again where I don't eat (I quite literally forget to eat sometimes, it's this whole problem) ... so I've been easily distracted and posting at 1a and just in a weird, wacky place. Which is either related to my depression - or separate and making it worse. Because I get really wrapped up in being so lonely and alone and then I sleep less and eat less and it's a vicious cycle of bad.